Shida Mirai Photobook Essay1 [Love]
“To meet my destined person in the 18th year of my life”, I wrote that kind of dream as an answer for the question in a survey during junior high school. As I reached the age of 18, I answered with the “There’s still a year to go” feeling and then now it became “There’s only 1 month left”. Time, I reflected again, what kind of person is my so-called “Destined person in life”. What “destined person in life” am I talking about, I honestly never felt destiny, but a “wonderful person” is not that bad, right? And then recently, I’ve been thinking what kind of person is that “wonderful person”, honestly it doesn’t matter even if it’s not a “wonderful person”, it also doesn’t matter if it’s not a “wonderful meeting”. As I passed the 18 years of age, I found myself/my heart taking part on love related languages/matter, my ideal, it gradually became vague. With my age increasing, the type of guy I like also change and the more it becomes vague/unclear….. Moreover, thinking about it lately I’ve been feeling “ah great ~~” on particular person. That person is the one in Himitsu whom I luckily co-starred with, Sasaki Kuranosuke-san. Although our age hap is a bit big, but during the shooting I felt that he is really wonderful. During the shootings, I was really happy that I’m getting along well with Sasaki-san each time. And whenever I don’t see him in the site, “Today Sasaki-san didn’t come…” I become so frustrated. Although not in the sense of being in love, but he’s a very kind person. Mature and Handsome, really makes me look forward to. But, if I’m asked “Who’s the actor that you like?”, I’ll definitely answer that it’s Abe Hiroshi-san. I’ve been a fan of Abe Hiroshi-san since a long time ago, I’ve completely turned into the race of fans, probably somewhat the same with how the fans of the idols feel. Speaking of these, I often get asked/told “You like older guys!?” I really like my own father, perhaps I saw in Sasaki-san and Abe-san the image of a warm and very comforting father. But, it’s still somewhat different… If they’re really in contact with each other, it’s better if they are friends. After the age of 20, which is the age where one is capable of drinking liquor, toward that unknown world I completely can’t understand they would know how to enjoy and play; this left me no choice but to feel uneasy. Because I can’t go to those kind of places. Also, our age gap is really big, I myself can’t bear that, so for me just talking about it is hard. I tried to set out the conditions/qualifications of my 18 years old ideal type this time. Gentle. Cheerful, easy to get along with… it must be this three. I’m slightly yearning for someone with a fast vision for computing, also a smart person. But like Dekisugi-kun in Doraemon, he’s a person with a flexible brain, is a bit insensitive when expressing gratitude. My ideal type when it comes to appearance and body type, I can’t really sum it out. Thin or fat is okay. Like a family, a person with that kind of feeling is better. I won’t be aroused by love or my heart beat rapidly. The sense of relief/peace of mind when we’re together is the most important more than anything else. My dad since high school has started going out, then got married and even until now they’re getting along well. I’m very much looking forward to that kind of relationship. If I were to say who’s leading/dominating, it’s mom who leads my dad, I also like a similar type of relationship. If it’s about my ideal situation, standing approximately half step before the person I like would be nice. I won’t feel that it’s too much with this kind of level/degree, but the feeling is kind of I’m the one leading in front. Although I talked a lot about the related topics, but for me who’s inexperienced, the sort of things like love consultation between friends, there’s no way that I would suggest. In other words, there’s also no one who ask for my advice. Once in a while, a friend asked me “With these budgets, will I be able to date?” like asking for advice, this time I checked the internet, motivated to propose a plan for her. So far I still haven’t been worried towards love. Basically, I’m the type of person who’s not really bothered by it. Also haven’t consulted others about love problems. If I really want to talk about it, then I will seek help from my younger sister. My younger sister won’t voice out her suggestions/ opinions, she will just listen to me speak. As for me, although I seek help from other people, but the details are unrelated, In fact it’s simply the type of not really asking for opinions.
added in English
9 months ago