Many people struggling with addiction appear from the outside looking in to have it all. Unfortunately, addiction does not discriminate, and anyone can become a victim of it.
Years ago, my externals were all perfect. Perfect partner, perfect job, perfect friends and a perfect house. The car was perfect and my taste in fashion and furnishings perfect also. The issue was that on the inside, my internal world, I was suffering. I was prey to misery, depression, anxiety, guilt, shame and resentment. Fear ruled me, I couldn’t admit it, to myself, or to anyone else, so my condition deteriorated until in desperation I sought help, assistance and relief from my family GP. My GP, fortunately, was of great help. He explained that the way I had been trying to treat my underlying psychological and emotional issues by relying on substances wasn’t sustainable. In fact, he gently explained that his professional opinion was that the substances were increasing my internal distress and that significant change was required if I wanted to find freedom and relief. He diagnosed me with an acute substance use disorder, or an addiction, and educated me that addiction was a medical condition, a chronic relapsing disorder and that no cure was available. Recovery was possible, however, and it would require getting the substance use under control and he recommended total abstinence. It was a bitter blow, but I knew he was right. I was desperate and my life depended on it. I would do whatever it takes.
The next day I was admitted into a rehab at home program. My home detox was managed by an addiction medicine physician supported by an AOD support worker. The initial plan was to engage in a 28-day program. I ended up doing an extended program for over 12 weeks. I am now sober and drug-free for over 100 days and slowly I am healing from the wreckage of my past. My future is looking brighter every day and my intention is to remain abstinent and recovery-focused.