In Love and Bored: Is It Possible?
Being in love is supposed to be the most amazing, engrossing, thrilling thing ever. But... what if it's not?
We see quotes like this all the time:
But is that really realistic? For those of us who haven't truly been in love before – how do we know what love is really like?
So here's a little poll for you all, because I'm interested in hearing what you have to say: Is it possible to be in love and bored?
Can you get tired of the love of your life? Is true love sometimes not the thrilling emotional roller coaster depicted in the movies?
And does the belief that love will never be boring or anything less than 100% satisfying set us up for failure later, when we find the love of our lives and then they turn out to NOT be the answer to all our problems?
deactivated1460417026DInPlainSightI think there is a perspective thing here. A new relationship is always exciting and has a novelty factor. You're getting to know each other, doing crazy things to impress each other, getting excited in general about just seeing your new partner.
Over time, like with anything, the novelty wears off, and the magic becomes every day. Maybe you move in together, or see each other a few times a week. What was 'special' becomes normal.
It's how you react and work with that new found normality that really determines how compatible you are long term.
Does the relationship become comfortable and nice like a warm pullover, or a does it become old and tatty, or go out of fashion like @marshalledgar's blue shoes?
Relationships take effort y'all.....sometimes you need to make an effort to do something unexpected and keep your partner on their toes.
So can you be in love and bored....yeah...I think you can, but being in love and comfortable is better.
alywoahYeah, you can be in love and be bored. It happens. You start to realize that romantic relationships are sort of like relationships with family or friends: sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's not, sometimes you get mad at each other, sometimes you just enjoy their company in silence. I think I'd say I got bored in some relationships moreso than others. Also, the coolest kind of relationship to me is the one where you just have fun being in each other's company, even if you're not doing something particularly exciting.
How to Avoid Flirting With Someone
That creepy guy at the office is leaning up against your desk, YET AGAIN. It's a real drag having to suffer through unwanted moves – how do you shut it down without making a big deal out of it?
First of all, realize that sometimes a "big deal" NEEDS to be made, like in the case of unwanted sexual contact, sexual harassment, assault, etc. For more information on what that looks like and what to do if it happens, click here.
But when you feel that it's relatively harmless, like the clueless flirtation of a well-intentioned coworker that you're just not that into, or someone who's charming, polite, and confident, but just not your cup of tea, try out these strategies.
Minimize opportunities for flirtation!
Hang out in groups! Try not to spend alone time with this person. Don't hang out one on one, or outside of situations that you absolutely have to spend time together.
When you do see them, refrain from sharing too much personal information or being overly friendly or touchy. It's happened to me a million times; I thought I was just being friendly, but somehow a guy misconstrued my behavior as flirty. -__-
marshalledgarI know it can be unsettling for girls. But if she's not up front and black and white about it, she may be sending "signals" to stop, which would be to her, relevant attempts. But to him, he may not pick up on the signals. And before you know it, he's hauled to HR for "refusing" to abide by her "several attempts" to get him to stop. Talk about deer in headlights! Guys aren't the brightest when it comes to reading signals and picking up on nuanced approaches. Better to be blunt, but professional than to beat around the bush.
If You're Going to Have A Celebrity Crush...
You might as well make it a K-pop star.
Seriously, there's no fandom that will do a better job stoking the fires of your obsession. I know, I know, them's fightin' words, but here me out.
When your celebrity crush is a K-pop star...
They sing and dance, as though for you and you alone.
I was never one of those pop star-obsessed preteens. Nuh-uh. Not for me. Boys dancing around and singing love songs never made my heart melt.
Until I met K-pop.
Great Places to Find Cuties ;)
You need a fresh face or two in your flirt portfolio? Say no more. We've all been there.
When you're tired of all the same old undatables always hanging around, it's clearly time to get out there and meet some new people. But where should you look? And how do you make contact?
Worry about question #2 later. This card is all about where to go to scope out some cuties. ;)
The Beach
Beach season is coming up, and you know what that means: LIFEGUARDS!!! Shirtless men and ladies with great abs and a killer tan? YES, YES PLEASE. Go flirt with those red-suited cuties. But not by pretending to drown; that sadly doesn't work in real life. *sigh*
The Snack Bar
sophiamorThe library! I met a really sweet guy I dated for a while after we kept seeing each other in the library at school :)
BilliusWell, if you think that you are too shy then you can try online dating. Right now it's the most popular and definitely the most efficient way for you to meet new people. Here is a good link for you https://www.100bestdatingsites.org/iwantblacks-review/ where you can read a review about the dating platform. I'm sure that you will like it.
8 Ideas for More Intimacy
Wanna get closer to the person you love? Going from flirty friendship to true intimacy takes time, but these little tips will certainly give you a running head start.
Jump into your relationship, and go deeper with these 8 ideas for furthering intimacy!
1. Say what you're really feeling.
Challenge yourself to speak the truth to your partner, and share the secret things you're feeling waayyy deep down. When you're insecure, when you're scared, when you're hurt... It takes courage, but it teach you more about yourself (and someone else) than you ever thought possible.
2. Give PDA a try.
It doesn't have to be in front of your closest friends – try it when you're somewhere anonymous, like a train station, or walking in an unfamiliar city. The resulting feelings of closeness (not to mention that giggly rush of feeling like high schoolers making out and in love for the first time) will amaze you. It's a you-against-the-world (who might just be giving you the stink eye) bliss.
sophiamorDefinitely number 5! I think that is when we both really noticed that we genuinely just like being with each other, no matter what we're doing.
MundaneGirl@allobaber officially a year and a few months. Unofficially like 2 and a half years haha the beginning of our relationship was complicated. But yeah its always great to just sit and talk for awhile. It gets really funny whenever we talk about where we think each other would be if we never met one another. We always come up with some crazy ideas haha.
Quick Tip: Combat Relationship Insecurity!
Do you ever feel like you're not good enough for your relationship?
Or like that special someone will NEVER like you?
Or maybe you feel just a little unloved, even though your partner is amazing and wonderful in every way?
The good news is, a) these feelings are SO normal, b) they're nobody's fault, and c) there are easy ways to work through them!
Over the weekend I got a great tip from a friend who's a psychologist that I really wanted to share with you all. It had to do with a simple (but in my personal experience, highly effective) way of dealing with relationship insecurity.
Am I Insecure In My Relationship?
shannonl5Another thing a friend told me was when you're stuck on a really miserable train of thought and can't seem to break out of it, you should try to remember tangible good feelings. Think 'the smell after it rains', or 'the feeling of a good friend wrapping an arm around your shoulder while you watch a dumb movie', something that grounds you in a physical memory. A lot of the time miserable thoughts aren't about what's real, they're worst-case scenarios that'll never happen. So focusing on something real that felt nice helps bring your brain back out of that nasty hole
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