What I'm dealing with is many many things. I don't even know where to begin, but I'll just give my most pressing issue I guess since it apply to this more then anything else. If you see my picture I look normal. Not a hair or thing out of place, totally normal girl, not a medical acident or problem to worry about. Perfectly in good health, well looks can be deceiving. I have hip dyspladia, I was born with it and I will have it forever. there is no cure or teat mentioned there is only a laundry list of surgerys to make it manageable and livable. My hip and leg bone are not shaped properly and i have very little cartilage on the femor (leg bone) and socket (hip bone) where they meet. if there was a surgery to give me more cartilage I would be happy but there isnt. when I use my hip too much I end up in pain and lay in bed for 2 days with no meds since nothing works for this kind of pain and wait it out to end. this used to be my normal. now it's not. now I need surgery. they want to do a pelvic ostiotomy. this is when my pelvic bone is cut and is rotated in a way where it is normal for my leg to stay in place, and after I will have pins and needles in the bone to keep it there. it is a 4 month recovery surgery, and I am scared and pissed. I'm 23 Years old and this isn't fair. I don't have time for this. I don't have money for my husband to leave work for 4 months with a garentee he can come back but no pay until he comes back. but it must get done.
as a kid I always wanted to sing and dance. I loved it so much but my hip would never allow it other then a once in a blue moon Hobbie.
I want nothing more then to learn this dance but I cant. but watching the kpop videos and listening to the music is idk it does something for me. it makes me feel awesome like they are doing it for me. sounds weird as heck I know but I really get something out of it. I love kpop so much and I fangirl so hard and I'm glad I have it in my life. if I didn't I'd prob still be depressed and angry. I can't really explain. what I get out of it other then the fact that watching them dance is enough for me. singing with thwm is also enough for me. I don't have the perfect voice but they make up for it.
Cl is my favorite by far besides hyuna and g dragon. she's strong and can do anything she puts her mind do, she's adorable, hilarious and smart. I really look up to her alot.
Anyways kpop has changed my life in a way where I'm not so angry that I can't peruse my dreams because someone else is doing it for me and I'm getting that satisfaction from a just watching them work hard and watching them make it makes me happy for them.
I know this sounds so weird and dumb but, it kinda makes me feel less lonly, hip dysplasia is not that common and isn't well known by many people so I don't know anyone with it and in some way I feel less lonly watching them. like I said sounds really weird and stupid haha.