A Final Letter to a Piece of my Heart

I've been struggling do much but it's about time that I finally say what I've been feeling since last month: Jonghyun, you did well. You've always done well and you have amazed me once again. Thank you for making the past five years of my life amazing by gifting me and fellow Shawols your talent, your smile, and your kind words. I always said that I wanted to be like you, bringing smiles to the faces of millions just by being there. I wish to achieve that one day but now that you're gone, I feel like I have nowhere left to turn, nowhere to run too. I fight everyday, knowing that tomorrow has to hold something but sadly, we couldn't fight together anymore. I try to comfort myself and simply say that you're in a better place but my self conscious is telling me that you're still writing away, crafting the next masterpiece to give us. Alas, you're final work of art has been delivered but I'm hesitant to reach out for it because I feel like you'll disappear from in front of me. I know you wouldn't want to see us cry, so I'll attempt to dry my tears while clutching on to your final smile, your final laugh, your final word. Despite our sadness, you will always be loved and missed but we know you're are in heaven, smiling down on us while playing your kazoo or out-singing Whitney. Although, I still do not want to accept it, I know that I will only be hurting myself in the long run. I love you, Jjong. https://youtu.be/J41qe-TM1DY
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JYPxSoompi Audition

Hi everyone! So as you can see in the title of the card, I will be talking about the JYPxSoompi auditions. Upon seeing the audition announcement on twitter, I ran to go look more into it. Given that school has started back up, I was on a crunch for time. Juggling 3 AP classes, looking up/applying to colleges, looking for work, and starting up a club at school, left me no time to prepare for my audition. I tried out so many songs that I can not count them on my fingers. From older songs like "Fate" by Lee SunHee to newer songs like "Answer" by Jimin Park and "In the Same Place" from Produce 101. Eventually, I settled on "Yonghwa Bridge" by Zion.T. At 2:00 am, it sounded like the best cover in the world and I didn't mind my image but now, I can't even bring myself to watch the video because I am scared of the outcome. I don't fit the desired image of most K-idols now. I am over-weight (by a lot) and I am not Asian ( I am very much Jamaican with dark skin). I'm scared on how they might perceive me. I know looks play a huge role in the decision and I am really hoping that JYP is willing to look past my looks and listen to my voice. But then that's another problem. I hate how I sound sometimes and that was why I couldn't settle on a song. I tried so hard to sound good but I... don't know. I originally did not want to share it with anyone but I need another's opinion. Should I delete the video and just audition at another time? Please be honest

VIXX's "Fantasy"

I'm still dying from this tbh. I stalked Jellyfish's page forever waiting for the music video after the album release. Now when I watch the music video or listen to the song, it doesn't feel real at all. Theory: Since it is connected to Dynamite and the crashed a wedding in Dynamite, this is the prelude to Dynamite. The envelope that Leo had passed to N was the invitation to the wedding and Leo or N are in love with the bride. The fantasy was where they were happy with said female, however we have yet to see that fantasy (which probably be the third installment of the trilogy). At the end of the chorus, Ken says, "Please save me, fantasy" and N is seen going towards a white door, with Hyuk trying to stop him from entering. After being heartbroken, he wants to enter his fantasy but in doing so, he would be avoiding his cruel reality. In avoiding reality, we see what he and Leo's reality is, as they are tried up to a chair but only Leo is desperately trying to escape, his captor making some sort of red concoction in the background. Originally, it would have made sense that the captor was a female, like in voodoo doll, but it is a man. Is it the finance/ groom from the wedding in Dynamite? He possibly realized that N and Leo were in love with his wife and wanted to get rid of them. So are both Leo and N lovers of the bride? Going back to 2:03, Leo and N stand on opposing side of a mirror, showing that they are one person but two different sides of the person. N is the side that wants to stay in his fantasy (he doesn't fight when he is tied to the chair) and Leo is the side that wants to fight off the challenges he is facing in reality (he was fighting get out of the chair and hiding in the woods). At 2:52, Leo is seen wrapping up his hand and covering up the symbol on the back of his hand (the symbol that was also on N during Dynamite promotions). The symbol is most likely the after effect of the red liquid and he is covering it because he doesn't want it to effect his life. The anger, however doesn't set in until the end, where the video ends with Leo sitting in front of a dinning table in some sort of hall, dressed in all black with the eye patch on. In most cases, anger leads to jealousy, make Dynamite the actual second (or third) part to the trilogy where they crash and destroy the wedding.