What Kpop Is For Me

It's been a long time since I made a card but I feel the need to now. My relationship with my mother is far from good but I don't care. The issue is how she does what ever she wants and just kind of tests me hoping I snap and get myself in trouble. Like if I play my music too loud in my headphones she threatens me with punishment if she has to say turn it down again. It stresses me out a lot because I can't say a word back to her even though I will be an adult in a couple of months. But I remember how little time I have left. I think about how in a few months I will be off to college and on my own. Also how I will study Korean as hard as I can so I can study in Korea even she's against it. I remember Kpop has given me dreams and aspersions I never had before. I listen to Run by BTS a lot and honestly it just makes me cry nonstop. I honestly don't know why. Listening to Eddy Kim cheers me up but makes me cry too. I honestly can't describe it but it just does something to me. Even though I feel like a crybaby and a loser since I can't do anything about how I feel Kpop saves me in the end. When my own mother makes me cry Kpop wipes the tears away and gives me a hug. I'm not sure if it's a dumb teenage thing but at the moment I feel like Kpop is one of the little things I have that give me piece of mind when everything is falling apart in my life which is often sadly. (Honestly I'm crying my eyes out writing this but listening Eddy Kim so I stopped finally)

Life These Days (not totally K-pop related so please don't remove)

Well....my depression has gotten out of hand lately and my eating disorder or bad addictive habit has come back from the darkness. Idk why but lately I have been feeling really crappy...idk if it's stress...idk if it's just chemical stuff in my brain...all I know is I feel super hyper on the outside but inside and behind closed doors I feel terrible and am resorting back to my bad eating disorder habit. Thankfully K-pop has been cheering me up. All these new songs I'm finding has been distracting me and lifting up my spirits especially Dumb Dumb Dumb by Red Velvet and also Congratulations by Day6 (I'm glad I FINALLY decided to check the song out because I seriously love it. I connect so much to it because it's my sucky love life in a nutshell haha) also the music of both Crush and Zion.T. Hopefully this will pass because I'm suffering a lot right now in silence. I picked some mellow and melloncolly (idk how to spell it lol) pics to show my mood....