Before starting this, I would like to state that it was never my intention to hurt anyone or make anyone upset. At the moment of my disappearance... I was at my lowest and ended up pushing everyone away and just... I left almost every platform I was in.
In all honesty, I don't deserve anyone's forgiveness, but I figured I should give you all an insight of what it is that happened on that day.
@Jaerinn was the bestest friend i've ever had the honor of meeting. She has been the person I looked up to the most, and she was my rope in which I clung to when I was so close to falling into a pit of nothing. She was everything to me... Her, Soomin (I will speak about her later), and Jaerin's brother were my everything for a while.
But then it happened. In the middle of the night, I got a call from Jaerin herself. She told me she loved me and that I was the best thing to ever happen to her... And then the call ended and I tried calling her, but she wouldn't answer. And so I called her brother... He kept me on the line as he went to check on her.
She had hung herself and her brother couldn't save her.
I couldn't save her from her thoughts, I wasn't there for her. I couldn't have possibly done anything for her. And so I felt my whole world just crumble and that night I realized what true heartache felt like. I remember I was standing and I just... I fell to my knees and I just sobbed on the floor. That moment felt like death to me. I wasn't thinking, I wasn't even feeling anything. I remember picking up my phone, looking at our memories, conversations, and just... "delete all." I erased vingle, line, and kakao.