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How To Love Someone With Depression
Although the holidays mostly make me think of joy and happy times, unfortunately it's also a time when many people feel loss, loneliness and other emotional pain most acutely. Few people like to talk about it publicly, but actually there are many, many people who at different points in their lives suffer from depression. A person suffering from depression shouldn't feel like a pariah or like they are damaged and isolated - there are causes and treatments for depression, if only the person can find the help they need. Some of the greatest help can come from loved ones, like spouses, partners or other significant others and family. But when you love someone who is dealing with depression, it's not always easy to know how best to help. Certain missteps can even make the loved one feel worse, and that makes the helper hesitant to try again. But don't give up! I am not a mental health professional myself, and I will say more about the importance of seeking such help at the end of the post. But there are things we can do for our loved ones regardless of our expertise. There's a post on The Darling Bakers that gives a great place to start with some tips for how to show your love to someone struggling with depression. Here are some of their suggestions: 1. Help them keep clutter at bay. When a person begins spiraling into depression, they may feel like they are slowing down while the world around them speeds up. The mail may end up in stacks, dishes can pile up in the sink, laundry may go undone as the depressed person begins to feel more and more overwhelmed by their daily routine and unable to keep up. By giving your partner some extra help sorting mail, washing dishes or using paper plates and keeping chaos in check in general, you’ll be giving them (and yourself) the gift of a calm environment. 2. Fix them a healthy meal. Your partner may do one of two things when they are in a depressed state. They may eat very little, or they may overeat. In either case, they may find that driving through a fast food restaurant or ordering a pizza online is just easier than fixing a meal. Eating like this, or neglecting to eat will only degrade your partner’s health, causing them to go deeper into their depression. Help your loved one keep their body healthy, and their mind will follow. 3.Get them outside. The benefits of getting outside for a depressed person are huge. And it is possibly the last thing on earth your partner will want to do. Take them to be somewhere in nature. Pack a picnic and lie in the sun, take a leisurely hike (exercise is an effective mood booster!) or plant a garden. 4. Ask them to help you understand what they’re feeling. If your partner is able to articulate what they are going through, it will help them and you better understand what you are dealing with, and may give insight into a plan of action for helping your partner. Also, feeling alone is common for a depressed person and anything that combats that feeling will help alleviate the severity and length of the depression. 5. Reassure them that you can handle their feelings. Your partner may be feeling worthless, angry and even guilty while they are depressed. They may be afraid that they will end up alone because no one will put up with their episodes forever. Reassure them that you are in the relationship for the long haul and they won’t scare you away because they have an illness. I strongly recommend that you follow the link to read the full article, which includes 5 more tips and more information. Also - although these tips are good ways to help your loved one deal with depression, it is not necessarily enough. It's not healthy to take the whole burden of their condition on by yourself. One of the best things you can do is to encourage your loved one to seek the help they need. They can talk to their family physician or other primary care doctor, who can make a recommendation based on their assessment of the severity of the depression, and on whether or not it's chronic. There are also many wonderful counselors with different approaches, from just one or two conversation sessions to get over a hump or for more long-term cognitive therapy, or, in certain cases (as determined with the consultation of a medical professional, and with the person's consent), medications for depression and/or anxiety. The most important thing is to show them that you love them and will stay by their side - and to help them remember that there is hope for them to reach the other side of the dark times and find joy again.
Book v. Movie: Mockingjay Pt. 1 (Suzanne Collins)
Alright, I have finally seen Mockingjay Part 1. Yes, I know it's only been out for a few days. Still, I didn't make it on opening night, so I've been on edge waiting to go! Obvious warning, this card will have spoilers! First off, a mandatory rant. I am tired of Hollywood splitting movies that don't need split into two parts. I got it with Harry Potter, a lot happened. Twilight? Not so much. The Hobbit? Come on! I get that it's a great money making scheme, and in some cases it totally works well, but they need to consider that we don't want to have to wait like this anymore! That being said, maybe they have a good reason for it this time. I'll have to wait until Part 2 comes out to really pass judgement on that! Rant over. On we go to the movie: overall, I enjoyed it. It wasn't edge of my seat action, nor did my heart race like it did during the first or second films, but I was engrossed. The only times I found myself looking away from the screen were when the massive amount of death left behind in District 12 made it on screen, because that was hard to watch. It was shot beautifully (especially the second propaganda film for the Mockingjay! It was really, really nice). I also loved the soundtrack. It was definitely a slow movie, but it accomplished it's goal at putting us in the mind of someone caught between heroism, revolution and grief. How does it match up to the book? At a glance, pretty well. Sure, it felt like this movie only covered the first 1/4 of the book (I know this is wrong, but I remember Peeta being rescued much, much sooner, and Coin doing it for very different reasons. Coin did a lot of things for different reasons... First off, Effie was in District 13 in the movie. In the books, Effie was not there! Instead, 13 had kidnapped her prep team (minus Effie) to make Katniss shine. I really enjoyed having her there: since the goal of this movie seemed to be to focus on the changes happening in Katniss, bringing in characters we didn't get to know that well in the other movies would have seriously distracted. I approve this choice! Second, Finnick is barely around, which makes me think that those who haven't read the books (stop reading now if that's you) won't be nearly as affected (I'm warning you!) about his death in the final part. Or maybe he's not going to die? I'm not sure about this one. Lastly, Katniss doesn't demand to kill Snow, which was one of her demands in the book when she agreed to become the Mockingjay. In the final part of the book (more spoilers for you non-book readers), Katniss ultimately chooses to kill Coin rather than Snow, so the fact that this was left out of this movie makes me wonder what the plan is for the final movie: is the controversial ending going to change? Coin is a very different, much less controlling character in the film, and we learn a lot more about her in the book than we do the movie, kind of opposite to how we are seeing more of Snow than we do in a book that is told in Katniss's point of view. I'm not sure who to like, or dislike, at this point. I have a lot of theories regarding what the changes in the movies to date might cause to change in the conclusion of the series, but I think I'll save that for another card :) These weren't the only changes: we also got to see more of Gale in action that we didn't get to see of in the book, and Coin altogether seems much, much nicer in this film than in the book! If you're a fan of the series, I definitely recommend seeing the movie, if only to pop and chat with me about your theories for why these changes were made!