"One's Secret" - my little book
"One's Secret" - my little book
One's Secret E6
Episode Six A Mirror in my Dream I close my eyes while they move trough the hall. My mom as always been so kind. Why? Why, when I see anguish in her eyes. Why fake it? And hide it? I close my eyes with my thoughts. My bed feels warm and cold at the same time. Sweet and bitter. My foot moves on his own and pulls me out of bed. I start wondering through my room, a breeze freezes my toes, my fingers wonder through the cold window and stop near the end. My feet stop too. This lonely path brought me here. The moves I made in life where empty, so I'm here. I think of nothing but the ground because his looking at me. "Look Up" A magnificent mirror faces me with no fears. I don't know who is he showing but it's not me. An old lady faces the ground too like she is talking with it. But not alone. She pauses as if the ground answers her. I stand in my place, a few meters from that image, deadpan, quiet. Not a single emotion hits me. Am I supposed to be afraid? Suddenly, the old lady faces me, closer than before, and smiles. My eyes are wide open. I can't move. I want to distance myself but my body freezes. My eyes are stuck on hers. she can't touch me but I feel her breath. The air got thick and heavy, caging my body, my soul. Although the old lady seems more and more far away, the mirror approaches me. The glass touches me and I'm swallowed. Everything is black. I see a lightning. I can't reach it. Am I trying too? My hands start to show them self's with a small light. They're pressuring something that I can't feel. It feels like nothing but it's heavy. My hands know that they can pass through it but I don't let them. It must be something. It's air. It's gets heavier every time I think about it. I can't control my body. I'm shaking because of the pressure but I'm afraid too. I want to scream but my throat is full with that thick air that holds back my voice. That mass releases my hands and for a second I feel free in the dark. I feel a shock and my body freezes again. I'm not cold this time. That pressure hadn't disappeared. It took over my body. I feel trapped. I can't move, it's hopeless. I don't want to struggle anymore. My eyes close, giving up for the darkness and I try to breeth one last time. I'm awake!
One's Secret E5
Episode five The Secret of the One "I needed to do something... I just can't risk with her losing her friend... She will need someone..." This heals hurt my feet, but I need to keep an elegant walk. Just keep your head up. -So Aria! - I smiled creating a diversion for my pain. - What do we own the pleasure for your visit? -You know Mrs. Henderson, I actually wasn't supposed to be here.. Her expression was serious and she looked at her feet like she was counting the steps. Perhaps Luna did something... She have always been a lonely person, and her relations with others showed to be seriously hard to keep. She continued. -I was supposed to go out with your daughter but she didn't came so I called her and since she didn't answer I came here. Although I highly regret it. -Well dear... Don't mind some things she says. I know she's a hard person, she closes her self to others, but I'm really glad you're her friend. I stop moving and she imitates me. When I face her putting my self in front of her, she looks me in the eyes. They're plane, with a common brown color. But they're big obligating you go stare them, searching for emotions. -Look Aria. I'm going to ask this has a mother. Please don't give up this friendship. I know she seems in some how strong and confident with her sarcasm but even if she doesn't know or admit to her self, she needs a friend. She needs you. Her eyes are wide open as mine are, like if what I said contradicted what she was feeling, and I knew it. -Anyway... - I lift my hand of her shoulder and stand straight breathing in. - Let's eat something, shall we? - She follows my smile and the tension before marked in her face disappears. We eat in silent, but I can see she's thinking in my words. Once in a while she makes a light smile that I return. This gives me some time to think to. I should have a glass of wine right now. I should be looking at the sky, or hearing the rain. Thinking about my daughter... my husband... Husband. I stop a cruel laugh in my throat. He redefined that word a long time ago. Has he changed, so did we. His concern with the media, with his social life, with him self... "I just can't concern about everything, dear!"... because I became a concern to him. I became a distraction. They said that while he didn't cheated on my, I was the happiest woman on hearth. And I didn't know what they meant about happiness. I don't recognize that word. So I transformed him in a necessity to protect my secret. Because changing names and country isn't always enough. And I needed him. And he needed me. He was also a distraction. Not to me, because I ignore him, but to her. I need to protect my daughter. I need to control her worries. I need to protect her dreams.
One's Secret E4
Episode four Time to be    I jump and lay down on my bed. It seems the white painted walls are following my thoughts. They're blank, plane, mindless. Asking to be consumed, filled with something. I didn't even know if my thoughts are worth of this walls, worth of their silence and comprehension. But my mind is stubborn and my voice floats trough the air, touching every inch of the white cold paint. I let my self go. Close my eyes. I feel the smooth breeze dancing in my skin. Overwhelmed by the emptiness of the everything, I feel calm. Safe. True. I stop my self from falling asleep so I can enjoy the moment of complete plenitude.     Like a cut, rough, ruthless, noisy. My phone rings. A gasp escapes from my throat and I follow the noise to my desk.  -Hi. -"Hey Luna! What's up?" Her happy loud voice entered like a shock in my ears. I tremble. -Nothing.. -I feel my throat dry, as my words are, but I can't help it. -"Oh, so it's one of those days, han?" -What do you mean by that? -"You're in the Zone", she giggled. -The Zone? Look Aria, I'm actually not in the mood right now. -"I can see that, but as your only friend I think you should appreciate a little more my call, right?" Her laughter's filled my room and my eyes rolled. -What makes you think your my only friend? -"And the best one to actually! I mean... Is anyone else calling you? I guess not" I repressed the irony and ignored it. -The best! So, why did you call? -"That's better! Well, today you're going out with me, of course!" Of course? What did she meant with that?... -Wait, what?! -"Not asking! Put something cute on, 'cause if you don't you'll be on your panties in the next fashion magazine. I'm there in 10. Bye!" Can't believe it. I'm not even in the mood to argue with her. The fresh air may clean my thoughts at least. My only friend. Wouldn't exactly call her that but I don't know what else to call her. Only a person. Not even an interesting one, for the record. I found my self crawling to the bed again. My body melted into the mattress and I relaxed. I won't go. Suddenly, all I see is black. My eyes start opening to the nock that's echoing in my head. I force one of my eyes to open completely so I can see what's standing in front. -Aria... -So you thought you could escape me, han? Her blond hair moved slowly while she talked, or at least seemed slowly to me. Suddenly I started to hear her loud and fast voice again. -...you did that to me! If you didn't wanted to come why didn't you said something? -You didn't ask, remember? -W-Well... I just wanted to hang out with. apparently I'm just to boring for you.. I'm not going to waste my time with someone who doesn't want to be with me! -I'm not one of your ex's, you know? Her face got even more red then it was. At the corner of her eye, I saw a tear struggling to roll through her face, but was she forcing it in. Although I don't like the way she talked to me, I feel an light feeling of compassion. -I'm so... But she stopped me. I saw her hands shake a bit and she turned around. She opens the door to leave but my mother appears. Her bright face surprises me. A big smile shows her white pearl teeth, and her eyes are kind and sweet. -Don't leave.. - her voice was persuasive and sweet at the same time. -I just made lunch. You won't leave me eating alone won't you? She giggled and Aria disappeared with her without even looking back. Did I did that much wrong? Finally along. I felt invisible, when my mother entered. Why am I thinking about it? Do I even care? I shouldn't! I don't! And everything was black again.
One's Secret E3
Episode Three Revealing anything    As long as I remembered, everything around me shouted shallow, mystery and mindless. I was surrounded by humanity.    When I was young, like every other child, the princesses and all the tales about them amazed me. For hours I read story's of kindness, beauty, hope and simplicity. I saw the movies about them and watched every step and worth of them imitating with the hope of becoming such fearless and kind princess like them. I believed. I believed they were real. I dreamed with this trifling amount kindness, beauty, hope and simplicity that was to others, actually existed and these people would overwhelm my heart with their substantial that I wanted to follow.    "If you stay kind, and simple, and if you continue to believe in kindness and hope even after seeing the world, your heart will always remain alive"    My mother was my princess. But the dreams end, the words become meaningless, and the heart gets corrupted, and finally... people just Change. The hero I had in times, become addicted to be him self. To be recognized. To be someone worth of the name, He said once. Even if the way to do it was actually worthless, and the result grievous, and the path lonely, he followed it, without looking back, without a second thought. All for the Humanity recognition. Worthless.    I don't know what I've become. Careless maybe. Kind? True? Simple? I wish I was a child. The thought came to me like a lightning. A child. With everything even when it has nothing. Hope and dreams. I wanted to be what I expected. I wanted to be a good person. But I wasn't unhappy with my self. I just felt, empty.    I never realized I was standing face to a wall of my bedroom. I focused on it wile regaining consciousness of what surrounded me. The door was opened, and my mother watched me with a placid emotionless face. In a thoughtless move, I slowly shut the door.    All my life I shuted my self from others. I never felt the need to share my thoughts though everyone wanted to know. My family fame was mine to, and isn't with happiness I say this. All the attention is useless to me. And all I know is that sometimes is in the dark when I feel less lonely.