For Me, Myself and I { Chapter 4 }
@marisamusic@MaricelvaRomero@merryjayne13@jjrockstar@RaquelArredo@EniorehFrancois@JaniseRamos@Mrs.JungHoseok @sarahdarwish@VeronicaArtino@SugaKookieV@QueenLele@MsLoyalHeart@justcallmekyke@PrincessUnicorn@FalseLove@EmilyPeacock@micahirene@Queen18Ember@PrettieeEmm@AaliyahNewbell@tiffany1922@kpopdeluxegirl@SindyHernandez@ParkHwaYoung@LemonLassie@CrystalGuerra@twistedPuppy@CallMeMsDragon@crazychikki@aliawhbmida@sosaloraine23@AyameTenchu@BaekYeolBaby@Ilikepancakes@LemonLassie@luna1171@mandubum@AaliyahNewbell@PrettieeEmm@JessicaEvaristo@MelissaGarza@NicoleJolly@MrsChanyeol@tinafalcon22@JinsPrincess@narutobandgeek@Orihemay@Defy24601@CamrynCherry@SaraHanna@Stephanie123@MadAndrea@selfishmachines@AmberRelynn@Animezkpopgirl@Maribelita@BrigetJara@ARMY98@MarilessSison@JadeOwens@Cassierchiqua@DalyRomero@im1the1shiteu@VIPFreak2NE1@Al95Pha@TaraJenner - Jackson - We were both sitting on his pastel blue and very large cauch. He looked nervous for some reason, as if he were afraid of hurting the slightest and smallest fly there was. I captured his every facial detail which depicted that of a very artistic masterpiece. A well and out-of-this-world masterpiece. My frowing face soon turned upside down and I was smiling at the cute boy in front of me. Although, he doesn't seem to be a boy after all knowing from a fact that he was actually older than me. I felt the need to hug him, to make him forget of the apology and just keep the hug going until our arms went numb and fall off. But I knew he had boundaries. Someone like Mark should be protected and taken care of despite the obvious truth of his self protection and care. I for once dwelled on my own conscience and refused to acknowledge my heart's needs. Yet, did I ever have a heartful need?. I don't think I ever did and even if I did I wouldn't be too keen on feeling compelled to fulfill it. It was a scary thought to think about, the idea that everything laying infront of me could easily be substituted for that which was Mark's very own self. I was interrupted by the sound of a cough. I look over to see the nervous man staring with big wide eyes right at my very own. We were like that for a few seconds but even at that short amount of time I was able to comprehend the complex details in his thoughts. He spoke: "I don't want you to feel as if I asked you to be here for just silence." He said and looked serious about it. "I know. And even if you did I would have enjoyed it.... that is if I get to look at that gorgeous face for a longer time of course. " I responded with basically no filter, not that I was planning on having any filter with Mark. The petite man looked away from me with a huge smile plastered on his face. It was something to surely die for. " Jackson I'm very sorry about slamming the door on your face. I know it was disrespectful of me to do that so I felt the need to apologize. So as my second apology I want you to hang out with me for a while. At least until It feel like my lonely apartment isn't so lonely anymore." I could hear the sadness in his voice. Mark is very alone, I don't want to be rude but I wonder if the guy even has friends. He describes his home as a pit waiting for centuries just to have someone fall into it. Or maybe a lone wolf wanting to make his very own pack. Mark kept smiling, reassuring me that he was okay and that nothing was wrong, but I could see through that soft smile. I want to make him feel like he has someone in his life that cares for him. Not just make him feel it but know and be sure of it without a doubt. " That sounds like a plan Mark Tuan and I shall accept it but first we should make some food... or would you rather we order some take out." "Whatever you want it to be. This is my apology to you anyways." He smiled "Then cooking it is. I'd like to see the gorgeous Mark work in the kitchen with me so let's see what we can make. Hmm, would you prefer pasta or ramen noodles." I suggested while at the same time caressing my chin, pretending that a long beard was located on it. " Pasta sounds better than the food I have basically everyday of my life. It's like my whole existence has revolved around noodles and some day I could become just like one, but without taste." " Aren't plain noodles already tasteless though, because all you can really taste is the flour. Not an actual flavor." I stated with crystal clear smirk. " Apparently noodles do have a taste if you can taste the flour. I just said that I would be tasteless because I wouldn't be that edible since I was once human and humans can be very umpleasant creatures." He wasn't wrong though. The way his words left his mouth sounded as if he wanted to scream at every umpleasant human being he's ever met. That including everyone of his exes. I suddenly, again, felt the urge to hug him but again I refrained and stayed on my spot just smiling at him while still listening to him rant about noodles and how some have taste and some don't. He'd be one tasty noodle if I do say so myself. SCHOOL WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME!!!!! We took a 56 question test today for World Cultures and we didn't even know we were taking one!
A Great Love Story 8-9
This is Tari, she is Jinyoung's ex-girlfriend. @marisamusic @MaricelvaRomero @merryjayne13 @jjrockstar @RaquelArredo @EniorehFrancois @JaniseRamos @Mrs.JungHoseok @sarahdarwish @VeronicaArtino @SugaKookieV @QueenLele @MsLoyalHeart @justcallmekyke @PrincessUnicorn @FalseLove @EmilyPeacock @micahirene @Queen18Ember @PrettieeEmm @AaliyahNewbell @tiffany1922 @kpopdeluxegirl @SindyHernandez @ParkHwaYoung @LemonLassie @CrystalGuerra @twistedPuppy @CallMeMsDragon @crazychikki @aliawhbmida @sosaloraine23 @AyameTenchu @BaekYeolBaby @Ilikepancakes @LemonLassie @luna1171 @mandubum @AaliyahNewbell @PrettieeEmm @JessicaEvaristo @MelissaGarza @NicoleJolly @MrsChanyeol @tinafalcon22 @JinsPrincess @narutobandgeek @Orihemay @Defy24601 @CamrynCherry @SaraHanna @Stephanie123 @MadAndrea @selfishmachines @AmberRelynn @Animezkpopgirl @Maribelita @BrigetJara @ARMY98 @MarilessSison @JadeOwens @Cassierchiqua @DalyRomero @im1the1shiteu @VIPFreak2NE1 @Al95Pha @TaraJenner I've grown to believe that everything I hold on onto is only but in vain. I guess being unhappy is when you have no sole purpose in a world that doesn't seem to take notice of your existence, or anyone in particular. I don't dwell in the loss of the attention I've, relunctantly, lat go of. But I do miss the one person who did in fact payed attention to me. His name is Jinyoung, he is a very normal guy I guess but he is strong. I don't know much about his backstory, not even while we dated nonetheless. He has many cryptic emotions and his feelings aren't at all at their best control. Never has he ever let anyone reach the top of the wall and break it down to pieces, realizing that which he keeps hidden very deep inside him. I once thought I could do that, to break his walls into a million pieces and release the other side of him I wanted to meet so desperately. But all to avail, he never lets his guard down let alone let a soul take control of his emotions, mindset, feelings, heart, and most importantly himself. I don't care about any of that now, frankly I dont even know what I did wrong to end it all but perhaps it was my constant need for his attention. Surely I thought that I could be comfortable with someone who truly understood the meaning of being unhappy and what the world feels when someone 'different' from it's superficial standards had set foot on the land. My life has processed in the most inadequate ways. Over time I had developed a deep depression where everything I see or touch seems empty and nothing could hold it into a steady rock to keep it balanced. I live for something to fuel me, something that I lack that makes me feel complete and I thought I had it before but now I realize that I was wrong. He talks to me sometimes, telling me about how he's been and shit but never has he asked how I was doing. He never asks whether I'm ok or if I'm hurt, taking care of myself, going out with friends, maintaining my sanity to a level where I'm able to cope with myself. I know that I lost the special treatment prior to the 'friendship' we keep going but is it really a friendship when it's just a prospective to a near ending. I don't want to lose him, not when he's my voice to keep going and living in a world I thought was worth living in. I underestimate myself and the many possible things I can do with my life. I can try to change and be an ordinary person like the rest of the people I see walking down the street. I comprehend every detail in the aspects of life, defining it's very core and what it means to actually be alive but nothing makes sense anymore. I feel tremendously barren and even with everything I hold myself up to, even Jinyoung. He brings me closure and reassurance that everything will change and I'll be ok, even if the words don't directly come from himself. I need him. Jinyoung In it's ever lasting glory I see the prick-of-a-tear illustration come to life envoked from my wild thoughts. After all 3 years she still lingers in my mind. I don't deserve her, I don't deserve anyone who is able to help someone who doesn't trust them when they try to make me free. I hide at the corner of my thoughts and the imaginary sensation of her arms around me when I am hurt or just in need of the company, the warmth. I don't let my walls fall down into calamity but if I did then I would be exposed. Exposed from all the goddamn secrets I am forced to keep silent of and every little memory of the childhood I've lived. She wanted me to tell, to tell her everything, to breakdown my walls and let her through the gates of my soul and heart but I wouldn't let her. Not that I didn't want to finally let it all out after a mellennia of hidden truth and loss of sanity. I haven't been the kindest at her, not even after the break up I placed upon her. She truly cared about me, more than anyone I've met could have. But I left her, I left her without reason or care, though she gave me every reason to still think about her. To keep a hold of her and to fall into a deep sleep knowing that she was still alive and that she has possibly moved on to someone better. Someone who isn't me, someone who cares for and shows her how much they love her the way I never could. What has been lingering in my mind isn't the mememory of her well being but the sadness inflicted in her voice. When I talk to her she seems out of it, barren and unable to whistand the sound of my voice without breaking down to tears. She has cried when she hears my voice, the broken sound I hear almost too quickly before she hangs up the phone and I am left dumb and numb with pain and the thought that she isn't as happy as I made myself believe. What I have done to her, what I have caused her to become was the most painful mistake I've ever committed out of all of the other ones. What I have envoked and made come to life which is an exact replica of everything I am feeling.... has landed on the one person who smiled more than a mere human should. I have caused her pain.
For Me, Myself, and I {Chapter 3}
@marisamusic @MaricelvaRomero @merryjayne13 @jjrockstar @RaquelArredo @EniorehFrancois @JaniseRamos @Mrs.JungHoseok @sarahdarwish @VeronicaArtino @SugaKookieV @QueenLele @MsLoyalHeart @justcallmekyke @PrincessUnicorn @FalseLove @EmilyPeacock @micahirene @Queen18Ember @PrettieeEmm @AaliyahNewbell @tiffany1922 @kpopdeluxegirl @SindyHernandez @ParkHwaYoung @LemonLassie @CrystalGuerra @twistedPuppy @CallMeMsDragon @crazychikki @aliawhbmida @sosaloraine23 @AyameTenchu @BaekYeolBaby @Ilikepancakes @LemonLassie @luna1171 @mandubum @AaliyahNewbell @PrettieeEmm @JessicaEvaristo @MelissaGarza @NicoleJolly @MrsChanyeol @tinafalcon22 @JinsPrincess @narutobandgeek @Orihemay @Defy24601 @CamrynCherry @SaraHanna @Stephanie123 @MadAndrea @selfishmachines @AmberRelynn @Animezkpopgirl @Maribelita @BrigetJara @ARMY98 @MarilessSison @JadeOwens @Cassierchiqua @DalyRomero @im1the1shiteu @VIPFreak2NE1 @Al95Pha @TaraJenner - MARK - Maybe I was too harsh on him. Maybe I shouldn't have left him there. Though it might have seemed bad I kind of noticed his wide smile and it made me feel some type of way. As if my power of solace had been drained from me by just a simple and small action. I don't seem to feel the strength of going out with him any another day, but I would never want to hurt his feelings. He seems of good spirit. The calamity of my involvement with other people seemed to have hit a high mile and yet I still look for that one person who can fix it all together again, perhaps for the good of my sanity. I knew Jackson wasn't the type to take action without precaution, but he certainly was the type to be blunt and smile throughout any situation. Maybe as a defense mechanism toward a bitter ending. I don't want him to feel as if I'm shutting him away, for any kind of reasoning I know there wouldn't be a situation where I would keep him behind closed doors. Maybe there will be, I don't know, I guess I can just let time take it's course. My apartment is small but cozy nonetheless. I wouldn't mind spending weeks or maybe months without socialization. Actually, I'd rather be inside and enjoy the company of my TV and fridge, rather than talking to people. Is that weird?- maybe, but I don't care. Walking unto the living room I find myself solely staring at the plain walls and furniture, it seemed boring. It's too quiet, too... well... sad. Sure I find comfort in being alone but sometimes it can get to a point where I'm suffocating between the white walls, carelessly lying down on the huge bed of mine. It sucks to have such a huge bed and yet it's just me; no one else to share it with. But I suppose the space didn't seem too bad to complain, it was just so empty despite myself being there. I move forward and look around. There is no mess, not the slightest bit of muddle found anywhere on the complex. Again, how boring. Should I call Jackson and ask him if he could come over?... then again, with the way I treated him just afew minutes ago I don't think he wants to see me. He's probably thinking about what he did to make me react the way I did. I can't blame him, I'm that confusing. Miraculously I grew the sudden urge to pick up the phone and hear his voice again, maybe to feel a little bit of companionship, another voice in this lonely place of mine. He picks up on the third ring. "Hello?, who is this?" He says, his voice sounding deep and husky. That simple sentence made me regret my decision, although I still held the, now small, courage to talk to him. "Hey... um... it's me, Mark." I respond, I can't help the nervousness I was feeling. "Oh hey Mark, I thought you were some kind of strange old, hairy man in his 40s wanting sex." Wow ok, I don't know whether to feel offended or not. "Well I guess that's a... nice description of me." I can hear him chuckling, the sound being deep and manly.... how compelling. "So why did you call me?" "I wanted to ask if you could come over to my apartment, you know, so that I can apologize to you for leaving you outside and slamming the door." I scratch the nape of my neck, suddenly thinking whether i'm making a mistake or a big deal out of nothing. "Oh that would be lovely. I'll be there, wait for me there babe." He called me babe, the man I just met a few hours ago just called me babe. How weird of him.
For Me, Myself, and I {Chapter 2}
Hey!!! theeeerrreeeee - JACKSON - I felt more at home than ever, and the advancity of the exachange of words was impressive. I found myself longly staring at his face and body, depicting every detail on his skin, every change in his eyes. He was really a painting come to life and it only made me fall in lov- NO... I can't. What is the meaning of love exactly? How could I fall for him when I've only just met him. Nevertheless was he not enchanting and interesting but he was also different. Very different to be exact. He was the complete opposite of me; not too talkative or symphathetic, not too romantic and affectionate but he was, surely, a coquettish person. He explained his reasoning for being so serious around people and how he never really made any of his relationships last more than three or eight months. Actually, he became aware of his words and sugarcoat them as if he didn't want me to think differently of him or seem hurt by his words. Thoughtfully, I was a little disappointed and kind of pitiful towards him. He had said that the reasoning behind his short relationships was of great boredom and so his said departed partners didn't want to date him anymore but he never cared for that as he felt the same way. In a way he is like me. He doesn't understand the meaning of love and how to handle it if he is cought up into it. As if his story couldn't get anymore sad, his last relationship only last a week before his partner said he had made a mistake in dating him. At that moment I really wanted to punch whoever the person was that dared tell him such humiliating words. Strangely, a smile still managed to make its way to his lips despite the rememberance of his past. We walked away from the diner and just spoke of the things we've done and had done. Our lives, our mistakes... our thoughts. And without notice the day had darkened and the moon had risen. The street lights were again shinning and the colors of the many lights were the leading way to every building and pathway. The sounds of the people were muffled as only our voices attracted us and boomed in our ears. His laugh is everything, it's cute. The way his lips curve up and show his perfect teeth and dimples only made my heart feel more pain. His hair blowing along the wind showed the forehead and eyebrows I hadn't seen before, thus making him more gorgeous than ever. The walk to his apartment was short but felt as if there were but a mallenium of footsteps to be taken and the night had only gotten longer by every step. Even the steps taken up the stairs felt like another day, deferring the occurance of sleep. We were both still laughing, his arm interwined with mine, making us look far more than friends and that sprung fear over my body. If I really have fallen for him.... would I hurt him? We stop at a stand-still, silence. The silence was dense and somehow overwhelming, but that was of inconherent happiness. Though I had only known him for a few hours everthing within me had changed, my day had brightened and the frown had left my face. And all he ever did to change that was talk. He stares at me with a huge smile and a bright look in his eyes. He comes forward. "I had a great time with you Jackson, I hope I get to see you soon." He smiled even wider and gave me a hug, weird. "Well.. it might be sooner than you think as you do have my number and I have yours." I say while bringing my arms around his small waist. Now it was really weird, I just hope he can't hear my heartbeat. "That is true. Should we meet up again tomorrow? I mean, If that's fine with you hehe." He started playing with the strings of his sweater and mumbled words to himself which only made him look cuter. I lean closer to him, his back touching the red-orange door. He looks up at me with puppy eyes and I knew at that moment that he was seriously beautiful. "That would be great." I smiled and kissed his cheek out of impulse. God help that I don't do something radical to him at this moment because I'm going to lose my restraint. Mark only lowered his head and smiled widely at my doing, blushing the color of strawberries. "Well, I guess I better go in. I'll see you tomorrow then Jackson." His tone had changed. A real serious Mark had he become and it made worry, did I make him uncomfortable? " Mark, I-" "Bye, Jackson" He cut me off. I was worried, he hadn't shown such seriousness, he was just smiling and giggleing.. now he's serious and quick to say goodbye. For some odd reason I found that Mark sexy and even more alluring. And the smile that slowly made it's way to my lips had formed a wide spread of thoughts to appear. I'm whipped. @marisamusic @MaricelvaRomero @merryjayne13 @jjrockstar @RaquelArredo @EniorehFrancois @JaniseRamos @Mrs.JungHoseok @sarahdarwish @VeronicaArtino @SugaKookieV @QueenLele @MsLoyalHeart @justcallmekyke @PrincessUnicorn @FalseLove @EmilyPeacock @micahirene @Queen18Ember @PrettieeEmm @AaliyahNewbell @tiffany1922 @kpopdeluxegirl @SindyHernandez @ParkHwaYoung @LemonLassie @CrystalGuerra @twistedPuppy @CallMeMsDragon @crazychikki @aliawhbmida @sosaloraine23 @AyameTenchu @BaekYeolBaby @Ilikepancakes @LemonLassie @luna1171 @mandubum @AaliyahNewbell @PrettieeEmm @JessicaEvaristo @MelissaGarza @NicoleJolly @MrsChanyeol @tinafalcon22 @JinsPrincess @narutobandgeek @Orihemay @Defy24601 @CamrynCherry @SaraHanna @Stephanie123 @MadAndrea @selfishmachines @AmberRelynn @Animezkpopgirl @Maribelita @BrigetJara @ARMY98 @MarilessSison @JadeOwens @Cassierchiqua @DalyRomero @im1the1shiteu @VIPFreak2NE1 @Al95Pha @TaraJenner