BTS: Autumn Leaves Part 4
Que tal peeps!
I know you all have been waiting for this series to continue.
This part gets really deep peeps so you are warned
Yall know the drill This must receive at least 10 likes for me to continue with the next part of the series. "Credit to creator of this image" As you walked to the kitchen to gather some magazines you left on the coffee table you begin to hear loud noises and glass bottles. You ignore it and grab you a cup of tea before grabbing your magazine. However, the odd noises were getting louder. You walked to your patio door with your tea cup in your hand to see a few broken beer bottles on your patio. You noticed a male yelling and cussing as he threw bottles. You put on your patio light to see it was Yoongi.
He was hella drunk. You quickly run out your apartment and help him into your place. He smelled really bad and was coming in and out of it. You quickly call Jin and let him know you found Yoongi. Jin informed you that they have been looking for him for about an hour. They would be over soon.
You make a pot of new tea. While that was warming up you began to take off Yoongi's clothes. You would give him a bath or shower. Yoongi was snoring by the time you got to him. He looked super cute.
Maybe I shouldn't undress him. Wouldn't that be like rape? You think while looking over Yoongi. You decide to do it anyway since he smelled so bad. It was actually easier than you thought it would be.
You sit Yoongi in the tub and rinse him off with the removable shower head. Yoongi made odd noise as you tried to be quick as possible. When you were done he was coming to it. He stumbled to stand up and then he eyes widen.
"You! You ruined my life! I hate you." He said in slurred words.
You ignore him and dry him off as he continued to cuss you out.
"Do you want to stay naked Min Yoongi. I don't mind it." You say while pointing at his manhood.
He blushes as he realizes that he is nude. "What did you do to me? Give me my clothes you sick sick..."
"You are drunk. I found you throwing shit at my patio window. Let's get you some clean clothes." You say feeling like you were talking to a drunk child.
Yoongi follows you and you throw some clothes in the bed. You still had some of his clothes at your place for when he would come over when yall were fucking. You assist him with putting in his clothes.
After dressing him you hear a buzz at your ringer and you see that it was the guys. You buzz them in and open your door as you checked on Yoongi. You help him walk into the living room.
Jin walks up to Yoongi and scolds him. "Look at you looking like some sloppy drunk. If you gonna be drunk look good like me. You had us running around town looking for your ass! You know I need my beauty sleep."
Everyone laughs at Jin. You offer everyone some tea as you tell them about how you found Yoongi. Yoongi was sobering up.
"Well it's all your fault." Yoongi blurts.
"Why waste your heart on someone who is cold." Namjoon says while staring at you. "Let's go home bros we have so much to get done tomorrow."
You ball up your fist. How dare Namjoon just say that. Yeah I played my part but so did Yoongi. They have no idea what I've been going through alone. But you let it pass. Hobi sees you are upset.
"Shorty are you okay? You seem tense." Hobi says.
Tears began swelling in your eyes but you smile and fake a yawn. "No I'm gucci."
"Well thanks for finding grandpa." Tae says while hugging you.
The guys leave and you are alone. You sit in the kitchen and look at the wines you had.
"Now I know why Yoongi was drunk. Feeling like shit hurts." You say out loud.
You sit at the table and cry until you fall asleep there The next morning you wake up with a stiff back to find that you slept at the kitchen table. You look at your clock and see that you have 45 minutes until you have to go to your therapy session. You were happy that you were able to take a mental day today.
You do the usual and get ready. You wanted to look presentable. Last thing you needed was for a therapist to judge you. You already had too many people doing that. You quickly finish your makeup and grab your shoes, keys, and purse. You were happy it didn't take much to get a taxi.
You listen to music through your ear buds to calm you down as you watch the city people hussle in the city. The trip was about 20 minutes. You were only 10 minutes late but you were happy you got to the building I'm one piece.
The building was actually nice. The location was near downtown area. You loved how it didn't really scream mental health clinic. You checked in and you sat down to quickly fill out paperwork. The receptionist was a pretty young girl with dyed brown hair. She was well put together and super sweet. She offered you some sparkling water and some snacks. This was new to you.
Hell if the session goes sour I would just come back for the snacks. You thought right before your name was called. You followed an older woman to a nice tidy office. She offered you a seat on this nice red sofa as she sat across from you in a white chair. The office was very stylish with nice paintings of autumn scenery on the walls and the sound of nature softly playing in the background.
"Hello I'm Mrs. Kim. I'm so happy that you made it. I will be your therapist." She smiled.
Just great she just had to have Namjoon's last name. Why does the universe hate me so? You think as you push out a smile.
"Hi. Nice to meet you." You say.
"Well tell me about yourself? What brings you here?"
You go over your basic background information and tell her you have issues with maintaining relationships. You pray that she can fix your problem so you can move on with life.
"Now, you say you work at Big Hit Entertainment as an assistant choreographer? Wow thst must be very stressful?"
"No, the job is actually rewarding and allows me to release stress. I live music and dancing." You say.
"Well that good that you already are finding ways to destress somewhat. I would imagine a person in your position work with many people all the time and having relationships is profoundly important." She says.
"Yes, it is. I have many social connections and I have to work with many people." You say.
"Well it seems like you have a lot of experience with building relationships. You say you have issues with maintaining relationships. Could you clarify that for me. What does that exactly mean for you?"
"Romantic relationships." You roll your eyes and began bitting your lower lip.
"Romantic relationships. I see you are bitting your lip are you feeling uncomfortable?"
"Yes I am. How am I supposed to air all my dirty laundry to some woman I don't even know?"
"Now I can understand how that would make you feel uneasy." Mrs. Kim pauses.
The silence made you feel as if you should speak or say something. You look at your watch and wish time would speed up.
"Well...I'm a bit of a whore. I can't help but to cheat and sleep with other men. I usually don't care when I hurt these men, but for some odd reason this last boyfriend that I hurt is actually bothering me. All I want to do is fool around and have sex. Even after breaking up with Yoongi and then Namjoon basically said duces to me I've been screwing my co-worker again. He's a married man, so I feel better having an affair with him because no feelings are involved. I know it's wrong."
"This must be a lot for you to share this with me. You are super strong for that. Can you speak more about your past? I have to ask this. But were you ever abused in anyway?"
It was like the sounds of dead bells were ringing as you were forced to go back to the past. "I don't think so. I don't know my birth parents. I was told they were killed in a car crash when I was a baby. My grandmother was sick and could not take care of me. My parents siblings had kids of their own and didn't want to take on another child, so I was in foster care back in America until I was about 8. I was in and out of homes and never really knew what it was like to belong to a family. The summer that I turned 8 years old I was adopted by this wealthy family. The agency was super happy and knew I would have a wonderful life. But it was all the same except I had wonderful schooling and material things. My adopted parents traveled a lot and my adopted older brother James and I had a nanny. We are two years apart. I barely got to see them. They were more into making money and loving each other instead of being parents. I spent most of the time in school. I went to a dance school where Dance was my major but we did have core classes. James went to a regular private school across the street from my school. He was handsome and very popular. I never had any friends and I couldn't stand my adopted brother he was an arrogant piece of shit. When I was about 12 so of my female peers were dating but no one wanted me. I was the odd one. At 14 everyone was fooling around and I wanted to know how it felt. I would hear stories when we the girls went into the bathroom for bathroom break. Well I secretly caught on James watching porn and wacking off. I was intrigued by it and I would replay that image in my mind. Then 3 weeks later I walked in in him screwing some chick named Lyric. I would watch and I found it a turn on. He would bring different girls home for about a month. Well one day I secretly saw James again warching porn and wacking off. I walked in on him with boldness and I made him let me give him a blow job I told him if he didn't I would tell all his friends and I would tell the Kingstons as I referred to those humans that adopted me. I never addressed them as mom or dad. Well James gave in. We would fool around...you know oral sex and sometimes I would allow his best friend Jaxson join in. I loved it! We would fool around at home, in the park, in the library, even in the limo that picked us up from school. I finally got what I wanted for those moment I was in control and there were no emotional attachments. I hated both James and Jaxson. Anyways the nanny walked on is three and told the Kingstons. I think I just turned 16 and the boys were 17 going on 18. Well precious James blamed it all on me! His parents were pissed and disgusted. They paid Jaxson to keep his mouth shut and then later that month we moved here to South Korea. I was enrolled into a boarding like dance school and never seen them again until I was 18. They told me that I had an account with money in it. They paid for me to have place to leave and said they would give me money and ish as long as I never contacted them or James." My face was cold and emotionless.
"That must have been hard for you. This would be classified as sexual and emotional abuse. Yes, you say you made James and Jaxson engage in sexual acts with you but you were still younger. They could have said no. Your adopted parents were not there emotionally and then pushed you away."
We continue to chat until the 1 hour session was over. We went over a safety plan and some assessments. I was able to make another appointment. After the appointment I felt the need to be reckless. Yes I did go over a safety plan but I could care less. When I went home I took a long bath. I sipped on some tea and cooked lunch. I answered a few emails and watched some TV. Then the urge hit me again. I wanted to call Lee but I knew he was busy working and was about to pick up his kid soon.
Finally I get the urge to call.................... OMG the tea has been spilled peeps! Until next time!
Tagging mis amigos
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