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If Minions Were Real People
Have you ever wondered what it'd be like if Minions ran the world? Well I have provided just that. Below has been my interpretation of the following Minion characters if you were to approach them Humans of New York style. Each has their own unique story to share. So, check it out! Meet Dave. Minion : Bello. Labada muggey Twaxis ka ta emedee. Mi koi metmen me a ham wich yee do cookies. Ka kaylay da nupi mi oes da urbeth ryesax yee mi nanhoe, Becky, da a bogsup owefa. Traba hego bem poppadom hawram ba mat. Ta meja polqis tipa ba mat tos noor pa okeodd fem ask coated nunu ta balget. Translation : Hello. It's another Tuesday at the office. My wife packed me a ham sandwich and two cookies. I have to take my son to soccer practice and my daughter, Becky, to a doctors appointment this afternoon. Work has been pretty normal this week. The most exciting thing that happened this week was our pie charts were color-coated for the presentation. Meet Kevin. Minion : NAG EEn DA!!! Dos nan rag recha bada, pal! DEEp TO VERlo PAK SWING?? Ka meeno Ka tos sola ellabs ta pas dad. Ko Ka gaysou mi gat, rig a yak de ta eel een ell de me, yee pen BAM. Sola ko pak. Het gadmu to, argyle sweaters nobif ponga to een baylez com ta jugo. Translation : HOLE IN ONE!!! That's an eagle right there, pal! DID YOU SEE THAT SWING? I mean I was just feeling the club today. Like I planted my feet, took a scan of the view in front of me, and then BAM! Just like that. I'm telling you, argyle sweaters really put you in connection with the ball. Meet Susie. Minion : Bel. Het 7 yee a vau. Respin 8. Mi mom was me pak Ka pudum kaylay a banana flavored bak nunu mi oflit eye labada mi lamkeg. Bada tos ba minion doll en gam pak Ka nobif quer nunu mi oflit yee Het pata da nomba la Daisy. Het roopa een umcam borko pelo mi hihm was me pak mi cob traba tis ta obe een ta leko. Teal tis mi lamkeg ask. Deep to cono teal tis zuza yee tav ton together?? Ka ababro pak een cob leko. Translation : Hi. I'm 7 and a half. Almost 8. My mom told me that I can have a banana flavored cake for my birthday since it's my favorite. There was this minion doll on tv that I really want for my birthday and I'm going to name her Daisy. I'm still in elementary school but my teacher told me that my art work is the best in the class. Teal is my favorite color. Did you know teal is blue and green mixed together? I learned that in art class. Meet Cecilia. Minion : Ka batooay non dub Lapwye. Translation : No hablo Inglés. Translation's Translation : I do not speak English. Meet Frank. Minion : MOVA PIk SIf BED PIk HUMA TO KAYLay DA CROCO TA YUPTAO EEn NAn ORDERLY BOWAPP NO COOpEe GO GANhIE BATNUS AKa TA NOTPAC SIDEWALK RADBAD TENGa TU YOKPYE EN LEASHES NO ZUZ MIKLo BE UNATTENDED KAYLay A GOPA DIA SAW AMEe MUBLai FET BAtooay Ka KAYLay DA TOPA TO COOpEe GO!!! Translation : MOVE IT OR LOSE IT PEOPLE YOU HAVE TO CROSS THE STREET IN AN ORDERLY FASHION LADY LET'S GO YOU'RE TAKING UP THE ENTIRE SIDEWALK PLEASE KEEP YOUR CHILDREN ON LEASHES NO DOGS MUST BE UNATTENDED HAVE A GREAT DAY FOLKS HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU LET'S GO!!! Meet Dot. Minion : Bel. Het up. Radbad no pic photography. Tew linerg pak tadda de mi momjoe miklo be teklom da mi isko gua. Het la blessed. Bida, Het mido ba daga newhop nut feguin labada tadda ta rage. Ka sola tenga gadmu tokas pak nut yee guntux kapee tis ta via da linda pak verna ahi. Mi daga dag tau oda kapee ba mat. Labada colcub "Minnie Minion", linda it?? Feguin to linda minnie kan to ads for. Mi bed hid pik. Translation : Hi. I'm dot. Please no autographs. I've decided that all of my pictures must be taken from my left side. I'm so blessed. Look, I'm doing this new organic diet because it's all the rage. I just keep telling everyone that diet and working out is the way to get that summer body. My new cook book comes out this week. It's called "Minnie Minion", get it? Because you get minnie when you eat less. My agent loved it. Unknown Name. Minion : Could Not Be Determined. Translation : *rawr* *ughhhhhhhh* *erg* Meet Sam. Minion : Bida, Tew gad a ta de errec een mi levo, okay?? Ta cala tis mi feep via yee Tew dinjet pak Ka takan aloo een lugo nunu mas pan a foop saw. To sola gotta linda kapee bada yee pave tu via. Tenga livin', ar. Translation : Look, I've seen a lot of things in my life, okay? The road is my highway and I've realized that I can't stay in place for more than a few weeks. You just gotta get out there and pave your way. Keep livin', kid. Meet Chad. Minion : Batooay to lega mus bro?? Dude, Het een aca alga yinauk ka 6 am.. Rasfey tadda cama mi hun. Ka whip aka a meeno jobyon lag nunu ruelad. Bananas nunu pus. Yee pen yay Ka kaylay tem peanut shatsk en a a banana wich temer a traba kapee. Ka domo rib skip ho dia yee Het tadda cama kashah urpout. Prompo to pudum nop en a kay, Ka mo da nupi a pehyup selfie. Translation : Do you even lift bro? Dude, I'm in here every morning at 6 a.m. Today's all about my core. I whip up a mean protein shake for breakfast. Bananas for lunch. And then maybe I'll have some peanut butter on a a banana sandwich after a work out. I don't ever skip leg day and I'm all about making progress. Now you can hold on a sec, I need to take a mirror selfie. Meet Cornelius. Minion : ma heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh... Translator : muhahahhahahahahahahhahhahahahahahhaahahahah... Meet Charles. Minion : Minions de ta Vatfet Elsree de Minion nobif nama exquisite. Ka kaylay nopa aha a mas banana obsessed vieors. To kaylay ta aceyam villains een ta globo eve ganhie moka kafar mac mucha agei da rinsop pik. Het pata da kaylay da topa Won Pismet bok een ta Vatfet Minion cama mi travels, yay she'll rinsop noor hajzoa tis dif een fitfem Ameriminions ta zagass fagton de ta wigjag aga. Translation : Peoples of the United States of Minion really are exquisite. I have never met a more banana obsessed nation. You have the greatest villains in the world yet you're having far too much fun to realize it. I'm going to have to tell Queen Elizabeth back in the United Minion about my travels, maybe she'll realize our investment is truly in supplying Ameriminions the proper supply of the yellow fruit. Meet Stewart. Minion : Banana ...heh heh heh Translation : Banana ...hahahaha
'Penguins of Madagascar': Meet the Penguins!
I have to admit I was always kind of curious about the Madagascar movies, but never quite interested enough to check them out. For some reason, though, the Penguins of Madagascar spin-off that is now coming out in theaters (November 26) is really making me want to buy some popcorn and put my family's bottoms in some theater seats! I mean, some of the characters are voiced by the likes of Benedict Cumberbatch and John Malkovich. What could go wrong? I did some recon first, and read a Boston Globe review pointing out that the penguins have been a little hard to keep track of. Apparently some of that will be rectified in the movie's opening, which they flatteringly describe: "The film’s cleverest element by far is its prologue, which flashes back to these unlikely adventurers’ pint-size origins down in Antarctica, complete with Werner Herzog (!) popping up as a ’toon documentarian." SO... I decided to make myself a little penguin dossier and get to know these crazy characters before I delve in. Okay, by recon I also meant going to Wikipedia. Regardless, here they are: + Skipper (voiced by Tom McGrath) - This guy is the penguin leader. Skipper is the penguin with a plan who gets them in line and hands out the orders. "Calculating and nearly unflappable, Skipper's raving paranoia and tendency to view even the most ordinary activities as a military operation, combined with his experience in covert ops, has driven him to prepare for nearly any situation, no matter how bizarre or unlikely." Apparently he's also afraid of needles. Every leader needs a flaw. + Rico (voiced by John DiMaggio) - Rico is the penguin who specializes in weapons and explosives. Flippers, explosives, what could go wrong? He sometimes speaks normally, but mainly communicates through grunts and squeals. "Slightly unhinged, Rico swallows useful tools, such as dynamite, and regurgitates them when needed, to the point of regularly regurgitating objects that appear to be too large for him to have swallowed in the first place. He has been referred to as a psychopath in several episodes. He is shown in some episodes to be in a relationship with a beautiful, female doll called Mrs. Perky." I love this guy already. + Kowalski (voiced by Jeff Bennett) - Kowalski is the strategist and gadgeteer of the crew. "Kowalski is a brilliant inventor, but he cannot read (although he does carry around a clipboard upon which he records drawings of their plans). He also tends to over-analyze situations and has created many amazing devices which have put the team in danger." Like Skipper, this penguin also has a weakness - he is afraid of going to the dentist. + Private (voiced by James Patrick Stuart) - Private is the younger, less experienced and more emotionally sensitive rookie of the penguins. However, he is also the most down to earth (doesn't seem that hard, considering the others). "Private tends to offer simpler, more commonsense solutions in response to Skipper and Kowalski's complex strategies (although he also shows an unusual interest in unicorns on occasion)." Fun fact: "Private speaks with a middle-class British accent (as opposed to American voices for Skipper and Kowalski), much in the spirit of English-soldier characters in popular World War II films." I didn't miss any penguins, did I? Who is your favorite?
Kung Fu Panda 3 Is Coming in 2015!!
DreamWorks Animation Packs A Powerful Punch With New Cast Additions For Kung Fu Panda 3 Bryan Cranston, Mads Mikkelsen and Rebel Wilson Join Original Cast Members for Third Installment of Beloved Franchise in Theaters December 23, 2015 "Pandamonium" is back for a triple kick with a trio of new cast members in DreamWorks Animation SKG, Inc.'s (Nasdaq: DWA) Kung Fu Panda 3 which will be distributed by 20th Century Fox. Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad, Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted), Mads Mikkelsen (Hannibal, Casino Royale) and Rebel Wilson (Pitch Perfect, Bridesmaids) join Jack Black, Angelina Jolie and other original cast members in the third installment of the beloved action-packed franchise. The film, slated for December 23, 2015, marks the first planned co-production with China based Oriental DreamWorks and follows Po, the chosen one, as he continues on his journey mastering the art of Kung Fu… and noodle slurping. Continuing on his now legendary adventures of awesomeness, Po must face two hugely epic, but very different threats: one supernatural and the other a little closer to home. This chapter in the continuing adventures of Kung Fu Panda is directed by Jennifer Yuh Nelson, who also helmed the worldwide hit Kung Fu Panda 2 and remains the highest grossing female director for a film at the worldwide box office. The film is produced by Melissa Cobb, executive produced by Guillermo del Toro and co-produced by Jeffrey Hermann along with Jonathan Aibel and Glenn Berger, who wrote and co-produced the original films and continue in these roles. "Having the wonderful Jennifer Yuh Nelson return as director is incredibly exciting for the studio. Under her guidance I have no doubt that our returning cast and our outstanding new voice talent will take the franchise's story to the next level," said DreamWorks Animation Chief Creative Officer Bill Damaschke. The first two chapters of DreamWorks Animation's critically acclaimed Kung Fu Panda franchise opened in 2008 and 2011. Both films were honored with Academy Award® nominations for Best Animated Feature Film. Together, they have generated approximately $1.3 billion at the worldwide box office. DreamWorks' highly-rated CG animated television series Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness debuted on Nickelodeon in 2011 and has won four Daytime Emmy® Awards.