#Non-fiction
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We Have Forgotten How To Learn With Purpose.
What do you think of when you think of learning? Education? Perfect grades? You think success. And it makes sense. People who work hard, who are smart, who do great in school usually go on to become very successful people. And we all think of the same word when we hear successful right... That's right, money. But the problem is, we have forgotten about the beauty of learning, that lesson going in one ear and out the other. And without knowing how to learn, how can you possibly be prepared for the twists and turns of life ? The point of learning isn't to be better then everyone else. Learning isn't to make you wealthy or to climb one rug higher at your job. It's that kind of reasoning that pushes kids away from school. The point of learning is to maintain your dreams, adjust your expectations, adapt to situations and accomplish everything you ever wanted to do, without feeling regret about any of it. I'm reading a book about an astronaut, it's non fiction and the strangest memoir I have ever read. And he said the one reason he loved his job for 20 years was because he never let his love of being an astronaut hinder on weather or not he actually went into space. Sounds crazy right? But it makes sense. He loves space, loves figuring out how things fly and loves learning everything he can about how to be the best astronaut he can be. He did his part, and love every second of the journey. The getting into space part has too many variables out of his control, so why think of it as anything other then a perk? There have, after all, been amazing astronauts who haven't went into space. And it's that attitude that reminds us that learning isn't to only accomplish one goal, it's to prepare yourself for anything, this way you will always find success. So I think it's time we trust the process. We embrace learning not to move up the ladder. a passion for learning, for genuine curiosity will make us into a better person, even if it outwardly effects nothing but our attitude. We need to remember that societies version of "success" and our version of learning doesn't always see eye to eye. So embrace all knowledge, you never know how far it will get you to shooting for the moon. I mean hey, will preparing for one dream you might accidentally discover another along the way! The universe is pretty crazy like that. You live and you learn.
Why My Anxiety Makes Me Braver Then You.
Okay, so maybe not braver, sorry. My anxiety is pounding my skull knowing that people will get upset, think that my title is me calling them cowards, that they know I'm not brave. Don't be mad at me its not what I meant, I'm sorry. Let me start over. My anxiety makes me braver then you think; after you call me a worrier, after you deem me too "inside my head." My anxiety doesn't just clog my vision, it fogs yours to the fact that everything I do is a big deal, while flashes of "but what if the worse happens" shoot though your head in my voice. What you don't understand is that it is so very hard to live a life of spontaneity, of breathing in the air and wishing I was the wind, when my mind makes me think that every second someone I love will die because of some arbitrary decision that I chose wrong. It's hard to live a life when your brain only focuses on destruction. So, what I want you to understand is that if I had to describe myself in one word its brave. And not in the valiant knight, stand in front of an armed man to stop is bullet brave. I'm talking about how every day when I come home I check the closets, under the bed, and behind the shower curtain because I always think someone broke in. You never do that because you aren't afraid of that, you aren't anxious. But through the tight grip my anxiety has on my stomach I look. Every day. My anxiety makes me afraid of almost every situation, yet in every single one, I swallow and search out my fear; I push forward. My anxiety makes me braver then you.
It's always up to you!
First of all, I am really happy to be back, to be vingle active. I took some time, away from all the internet and mass media kind of life, which I think it is something everyone of us should do every once in a while. It feels so good. But I have to say, I did miss Vingle, I missed all you lovely vinglers, sharing interesting and funny cards, and now, I am ready for round 2.0. And what is better to post, that this amazingly deep picture (which I am sure, a lot of you have already seen it, am I right?) But in case you havent, take a couple of minutes, read the text carefuly and think. Reading it over and over again makes it even better. It is a great example to approve that it is always up to us, everything. A bad thing, doesn't always have to be a bad thing, you can try and find something positive, and if you try really hard, I'm sure you'll find it. It's only a matter of perspective, and it is so easy, just to flip the case over and embrace the situation. Even if you don't agree with me, at least try. It took me quite a long time to realize this meaningful message, but now I can say, my way of thinking changed. And for the better. Think good, be good and spread the good. I share this card with all the vinglers, but at the same time I want to say "Hi" to some of you: @allischaaff @marshalledgar @alywoah @LauraFisher @TerrecaRiley @nicolejb @shannonl5 @2littlelegs @TessStevens @LizArnone @danidee @skee292 @buddyesd @onesmile @VinMcCarthy @ShadowAnggel87
Wooord!
I guess everyone has some people around them (or maybe not even around, but somewhere), who just hate you, for no real reason. Those, so called people can be your school mates, your friend's freinds, someone you go to college with, your co-workers, or just any other, random people. Those people are usually people we never talk to, and actually never had, but somehow they think they know us, which is letting them to think they have a right to judge you. But, if you worry about them, than you are just stupid. Those people think they know you, they spend hours per day thinking about you. Yes - hating on someone and talking shit about someone is actually thinking of that someone. And you know what? If I tell you about my experience... I have quite a group of people that I "know". Well, they were just empty bodies, strolling down the path of my life, nothing meaningful. Those are the people I don't even know their last names. And they somehow know everything about me, and they feel so happy when talking shit about me. Well, I guess I won. I represent a celebrity figure in their small, meaningless lives. They are spending a lot of their moment on hating on me, and if they are actually so jelous of my life, well than let they! If talking shit about me makes them feel better, let they do it. I don't care. I don't know them. I will never meet them. If they die (sorry for exaggerating) I won't even know, if I die (again, sorry) their world would change like a lot. I am such a big part of their lives, bud saddly it only goes one way - for all the haters out there: Sorry, but who the fuck are you?
How to Be a Good Kisser
10 Tips From Scientific Research: What Does Science Say About How To Be A Good Kisser? In all fairness, how to be a good kisser is something no one really gets instruction in. Yet, it can be a huge part of one’s personal life and the sources we do get info from are, well, far from scientific. Let’s tackle it. Have No Illusions: Kissing Is Important Research shows kissing frequency correlates with relationship satisfaction. 59% of men and 66% of women have ended a relationship because someone was a bad kisser. People remember their first kiss more vividly than the first time they had sex. Psychologist John Bohannon from Butler University has found that most of us can recall up to 90 percent of the details of a first romantic kiss. In his study of five hundred people, most remembered this experience more vividly than their first sexual encounter. Movies like “Pretty Woman” have said that prostitutes don’t kiss on the mouth because it’s too intimate. Refraining from mouth-to-mouth kissing has been common among women of the “oldest profession” for a very long time. Social scientists Joanna Brewis and Stephen Linstead report that prostitutes often won’t kiss because it requires a “genuine desire and love for the other person.”By avoiding the lips of a client, they are best able to keep emotions out of their work. A ten-year psychology study undertaken in Germany during the 1980s found that men who kissed their wives before leaving for work lived, on average, five years longer, earning 20 to 30 percent more than peers who left without a peck good-bye. The researchers also reported that not kissing one’s wife before leaving in the morning increased the possibility of a car accident by 50 percent. Psychologists do not believe it’s the kiss itself that accounts for the difference but rather that kissers were likely to begin the day with a positive attitude, leading to a healthier lifestyle. Why Do We Kiss? Kissing is how we test if someone would (biologically) be a good mate. A good deal of the scientific literature speculates that kissing may have evolved to help us choose a suitable partner, or to realize when a match is a bad idea…The exchange of olfactory, tactile, and postural information might trigger unconscious mechanisms that guide us in deciding whether we should continue, and a kiss might even tell us about a potential partner’s level of commitment and genetic compatibility. How kissing is perceived: - It matters a lot more to women than men. - Women were very focused on men’s teeth and hygiene. - Men were much more likely to see kissing as a mere step toward sex. - Other studies reveal these differences held true across cultures. Women were far more likely to see kissing as a good way to assess a potential mate or to initiate, maintain, and monitor a long-term relationship. They also rated the breath and taste of a man’s kiss as highly significant in determining whether to keep on kissing him in the moment or the future. Women were far more interested in healthy-looking teeth, and reported valuing the experience of kissing much more than men did— before, during, and after a sexual encounter. Men, on the other hand, were much less picky about kissing and far more interested in facial and bodily attractiveness. How Do You Find Out If Someone Wants To Kiss You? This dilemma probably produces more nervousness and awkwardness than anything else related to kissing. All the sources I checked agreed: It’s a matter of breaking into your partner’s personal space in a plausibly deniable way and gauging their reaction. It’s important to note that whether or not your intentions are romantic, to kiss another person on the cheek or elsewhere— or to sniff him or her—it’s necessary to move into that individual’s “personal space.” To get this close, there must be some level of trust or expectation. Thus delivering a friendly kiss or sniff, or receiving one, amounts to an unspoken gesture of acceptance. The best specific method came from pick-up artist David D'Angelo: Guys, adjust a woman’s hair. It’s an intimate enough gesture that a flinch can tell you she’s not interested – while a more pleasant response could be a green light. Either way it provides the information necessary without making things tooawkward for either party. Advice for Women For The Art of Kissing William Cane asked men what their biggest complaints and desires were regarding kissing. Ladies, want to make guys think you’re a great kisser? Here are some takeaways from the research: - Open your mouth more. Research shows men prefer “wetter kisses with more tongue. - Initiate more. - Be more aggressive with your tongue and take an active part in the kiss. You could probably sum them all up by saying: Stop holding back. Advice For Men - Don’t jam your tongue down her throat. This was women’s most frequent complaint. You’re kissing her, not trying to implant an alien embryo in her stomach. - Keep your ears attuned to her breathing. Bluntly, make sure you’re allowing her to breathe. Women tend to enjoy kissing more when they’re not being suffocated. - “Listen” to the way she’s kissing.Match her tempo. Reply to her tongue action with similar tongue action. Leading and being aggressive can be good but being oblivious is bad. Also, aligning with the research on hygiene, take care of your teeth, use mouthwash and carry mints. No matter how attractive someone may be, poor hygiene can kill the moment before it even begins. This is particularly true for men. As preceding chapters have described,women depend heavily on taste and smell and pay close attention to teeth when evaluating a partner. A few other tidbits from an interview with William Cane, author of The Art of kissing: - “53% of women prefer (to kiss) a clean-shaven man.” - “Women’s favorite spot to be kissed, other than the mouth, is the neck.Ninety-six percent of women reported that they like neck kisses, while only about 10% of men do.” - “Women also complain that men don’t do enough variations in kissing, that they’re too machine-like or repetitive. Women would like a number of different kisses: the neck, the ears, “liposuction,” which is moving from the upper lip to the lower lip…be creative.” And It’s Not All About Technique As Sun Tzu said, “all wars are won or lost before they are ever fought.” By and large, the same is true about kissing. You can be a great kisser but behave in a way that makes sure no one ever wants to kiss you. Circumstances can hamper things as well. - Looking good matters, so look good. Yeah, it’s obvious but if you’re the guy wearing black socks with sandals and a fanny pack, take note. (More on the scientific approach to being sexier here and here). - Set the stage. Getting to know one another eases awkwardness and lays the groundwork for a hormonal profile conducive to intimacy. Love researcher Arthur Aron has a list of questions shown to make people bond almost instantly. - Context matters. If you want it to go well, pick the right time, not some sloppy smothering outside the bar. I’ve posted before about the things that help in this area; dim lights, wearing red, sharing secrets and a touch of excitement can all be a good lead-in. - Get to know your partner’s likes and dislikes. Kissing isn’t an Olympic sport judged by an objective 1-10 score. A big part of it is personal preference. Get to know your partner and you will become a better kisser in their eyes as the relationship progresses. Now go practice some “science.”
Calling All Creatives: Its National Novel Writing Month !!!!
Its November and while most people think of the basic; "No Shave November", Thanksgiving pants season, or the worst of all people; The Countdown To Christmas People (stop forgetting Thanksgiving assholes), we writers recognize November as something far more....challenging. It's time to crank out a novel (50,000 words) in a mere 30 days. Thats right...November starts National Novel Writing Month! And I have to say for us procrastinating, totally undisciplined writers (raise your hand if you're with me) this month is awesome to get you kickstarted. Rules are there are no rules....just kidding there are rules but they are pretty lacks! A novel to the NANOWRIMO, which is the National Novel Writing website states that they will accept any word count between 10,000 to 999,999. This means that while your stories will have to be long they by no means have to model themselves after Game Of Thrones. How can you win? Because yes, doing this challenge can mean more then just writing a kick ass story that can make you the next Tolkien or J.K. Rowling. If you sign up on the NANOWRIMO website which is right here, then you will earn badges for getting to your daily word count goal and could even be one of the many winners at the end who will receive prizes! Whats even better is that through this website you will have forums and group chats with other writers struggling to pen their novel while juggling wok, school, family and pretty much life which always seems to be getting in the way. So take the challenge. Start that story that has been rolling around in your mind but keeps getting pushed aside by grocery lists. Take another look at the work that you are half way done with and just can't seem to sit down and finish. Talk, complain, and bitch about the struggles of writing with people doing the exact same thing as you. This November dare to start.
I Went To The Most Haunted University In The USA
When we think of ghost stories we think of bumps in the night, voices, shifting objects and light flickers. When I think of ghost stories, I think of Ohio University. OU is the oldest University in Ohio, and is home to several terrifying legends. Athens, Ohio houses The Ridges (a formerly bonkers insane asylum where they practiced the art form of "Ice Pick" lobotomies EEK), five cemeteries that form a perfect pentagram around the center of campus, and Wilson Hall (a haunted classroom building that used to be a dormitory. Many students heard the screams of a student who committed suicide there in the 1970's). The paranormal activity touches every person that attends OU. It doesn't matter if you're a teacher or student. Somehow, the ghost stories become real. I remember checking in to Ewing Hall on Ohio University's glorious South Green as a lowly freshman. It's the perfect college setting, full of bustling students going to class, people playing Frisbee and catch on the green. A few months into college I remember waking up in the middle of the night to a loud thumping noise above me. I turned over and forgot about it, because it was probably the person above me. Then, I remembered I lived on the 4th floor. [Here I am in my haunted room, Freshman year of college] That was my first encounter with a ghost my friends and I later named Chester. I ended up moving out of that room later in the semester because one opened up next to my friends on the other side of the floor. Chester ended up slamming doors and knocking things over, groaning in the night loud enough for everyone to hear, but he never did anything too spooky. When I moved across the floor to the other side, I thought I had rid myself of Chester the ghost. People on the other side of the floor heard furniture moving around...things being knocked over, screaming from inside my now empty room. We ended up unlocking it with our R.A. and noticed that things had been moved around. The matress was off the bed and the desk had been flung three feet from where I had left it. Chester wasn't happy that I had left. A few days passed and I hadn't heard from my ghost friend. I guess he didn't want to make the trek across the floor to visit me. And that was a good thing. Sophomore year I was in the building next to Ewing...Wray Hall. Herman returned, moving things, flickering lights and stomping violently on the ceiling. I remember yelling "Chester STOP!" and he would. He wasn't exactly friendly, but didn't hurt me any either. Though my personal ghost story might not scare you, these legends from OU's campus definitely will. Let's start with The Ridges. I mentioned that it was a mental hospital, insane asylum not unlike what you saw in the second season of American Horror Story. Some of the Ridges campus is used as a Kennedy Center for Art, but most of it lies abandoned. Though the grounds are lush and green there is something wicked in the air. You have to drive up a steep-ass hill to get to The Ridges. It sits atop an appalachian giant overlooking the busy Ohio University campus. You can see it from almost anywhere. It's a hulking structure, mostly post-victorian with bars all over the windows. As soon as you set foot anywhere near it, you can feel the haunting presence of its ghosts. Trust me. After the great mental health collapse of the early 1900's The Ridges turned into a nightmarish place where patients were treated with electro-shock therapy, ice baths and ice-pick lobotomies (you know, that thing that happens to McMurphy in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest). Essentially they jammed an ice pick through your eye socket and into your brain to "alleviate pressure" and make you a "normal" person. It ended up killing lots of people and leaving the ones that survived totally brain dead. Several freaky things happened at The Ridges before its doors were shut forever. December 1st of 1978, a patient named Margaret Schilling vanished. According to legend she was playing hide and seek with some nurses. They got distracted and stopped looking for her. She was gone for over a month, until her body was found in her room by a maintenance worker in January of 1979. The fact that someone died at the Ridges isn't too creepy, considering it was a primitive mental hospital, but this is: A stain was left on the floor of her room. And after countless bleachings and cleaning attempts the stain would re-appear. The Journal of Forensic Sciences studied the stain and revealed that it was indeed the result of human decomposition. Margaret was left there for 5 weeks. And every time someone tried to remove the mark, it came back, furthering the proof that she was haunting the grounds of the place she was left to die in. The asylum has a cemetery attached to it as well to act as the burial grounds for the patients that were admitted through the court system who had no friends or family to cover burial costs. My senior year of college I shot a short film with some Film studies graduate students in this cemetery. It was one of the most harrowing experiences of my life. There was definitely bad energy all around. Walking through the cemetery, you can see the unmarked graves. People who died without a name...nobody to mourn them. The cemetery in this picture above is elevated, hidden above the grounds. Some of the stones are marked with flags for veterans who came from the Athens area, but most of them are unmarked. Blank. Nothing. [A tour of the TB ward at The Ridges.] The Tuburculosis Ward at The Ridges is by far the scariest part. This was where the most violent and disturbed people would be quarantined. Most of the They ended up tearing it down my Sophomore year of high school due to a number of things, but I think it's because it was too haunted to be kept standing. There was lead based paint everywhere, broken windows and people kept breaking into it and hurting themselves. It's like Pet Sematary up in there...if you go in, you're cursed forever. [The staff of Brick Beats Magazine at OU in front of the TB ward, hey...I'm in the middle!] So of course, I went there. Being the idiot that I've always been, I was intrigued by the antique structure and the haunted, terrifying lore attached to it. I took some of my friends, who were all working for this music magazine I had become the co-Editor-In-Chief of freshman year. We took some pictures for an issue up there. And man...just looking up at that building...the memory of it gives me the chills. This was shortly before it was torn down. On the way up, one of our cars got stuck, we ended up hearing a lot of screeching and rattling and yes...there were open windows covering us in paranormal fear. I never went back. While i could go on for years about how scary The Ridges is, I'd better move on...to the final tale I'll tell. The most haunted point on campus is Wilson hall. It lies in the center of a "pentagram" created by five cemeteries surrounding the campus. See that star in the middle? That's West Green, a major spot for dormitories and a hub for kids on campus. [Wilson Hall was featured on SyFy's "Scariest Places on Earth". Room 428 is referred to as "Satan's Dormitory"] Room 428 of Wilson hall is the most haunted place in all of Athens. A young man died there in the 1970's, his death was never ruled a suicide or a murder. It was just left unsolved. A young female student died in room 428 later, after allegedly practicing some occult rituals there. She used the room's "dark energy" to practice some kind of witchcraft that enabled her to leave her body through her spirit. People call it "astral projection". She also contacted the dead. According to legend, the girl died violently in the room, smearing her own blood on the walls. Apparently all of the dark spirits in room 428 drove her her to kill herself, but we'll never know. Wilson Hall was built on an Indian Burial ground...that may be the reason for all of the paranormal activity and deaths. School officials closed it off and turned it into a boiler room, but screams and horrific sounds could still be heard. The building is still a dormitory. Athens, Ohio was voted the 13th most haunted place in the world. THE WORLD. I haven't thought about these legends, these hauntings that occured at my alma matter in a while. And with Halloween coming up it's no surprise that they're on my mind. You may not believe in ghosts, but if you ask any Ohio University Bobcat? I'm sure they do.