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Trying too Hard to Be Just Okay
You don't know what level of yourself you are comfortable sharing with people. You love to hang around with people. You love to be a part of plans and fun events and you consider yourself fun but the nagging, permanent feeling that people don't like you or don't want your company is paralyzing. You think about this probably too much. You don't go anywhere you weren't explicitly invited. You don't hang out with people unless they specifically ask you too. You are not comfortable assuming a level of friendship with people. You need to be clued in. You've been burned a lot by thinking you were closer to someone than you think Because you've been burned, you hang on probably too much to the people who do tell you you're wanted around. Then you start worrying that you seem clingy or desperate or overbearing or like you're trying too hard and it's because you are, you are trying to be fun and friendly and be well recieved because you are so, so lonely at the end of the day, even if you aren't alone and that loneliness is crippling, it haunts you so that during the day you have small panics where you are anticpating the impending loneliness and then it starts creeping on earlier. You see the people you know going out and having great times and living life laughing, and you are sat at home by yourself and you turned the light off because you don't want to even think that maybe someone can see how depressing your sad little empty life is. You feel like you are the friend from high school that you 'know' but never talk about or whose interests you have any inkling about. You feel like an 8-hour friend, someone to shoot the breeze at the watercooler with about nonsense and then say goodbye to. You are like a fortuneless fortune cookie. I guess it's nice to have but it's really not the important part of your order, and there's nothing remarkable about you.
Cleaning up the Pacific Garbage Patch
This is in response to a question asked by @relinashinee @curtisb @Goyo on my card about the Pacific Garbage Patch. I did a pretty poor job of explaining the phenomenon, and thought this deserved a separate card rather than a comment reply. First, most of the garbage in the ocean is plastic, and while plastic doesn't "degrade," it is broken down by sunlight. Thus, over time plastic in the sea gets broken down into very small, dust-sized particles, which is why it is so difficult to clean up. Add to this the fact that these plastic debris are moving around due to ocean currents, and we face a very, very daunting task. It's like "trying to pick up sand in a Jacuzzi tub." There is an organization that believes we can develop a feasible technology to effectively clean up the ocean: "Project Kaisei" was founded in late 2008 by three people from the Bay Area in California. From what I can gather from the home page, they are still at the stage of conducting research, completing 2 expeditions to the Pacific in 2009 and 2010 before embarking upon the actual cleaning itself. However, most experts believe the task is nearly impossible due to both difficulty and costs. They emphasize the perhaps the only viable solution would be to stop adding new trash from our coastlines. But this comes back to my original assertion that no one is really doing anything because it's far out in the middle of the ocean and doesn't provide an immediate threat to us. If this problem had been something that was more urgent, would "difficulty" and "cost" stop humans from finding a way? Human history has been about overcoming the impossible and finding ways to do things more easily (and cheaper). Heck, we've found ways to go to the moon. And money? If people really cared about it, they'll spend it. The initial funding for Project Kaisei was $500,000. The main fighter jet of the US Air Force is the F-16C, each of which costs $18.8 million. We have over 800 units. Sure, we can't make direct comparisons like that, but it does make you think. (pic 1: turtle eating a plastic bag) (pic 2: a social funding site that tried to gain funding for Project Kaisei) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Kaisei http://science.howstuffworks.com/environmental/green-science/clean-up-garbage-patch2.htm http://www.projectkaisei.org/expeditions.aspx