2 years ago
BPF1916
in English · 1,787 Views
likes 7clips 4comments 5
My Morning...Everyday (Poem Challenge)
I'm awake, but my eyes are closed I feel the strength of the world around Even in closed doors, I feel the sun And with no light my sleepiness imposed I let go reality with open eyes While moving around through the cold floor That extinguishes my sleep just by one touch And all my warmth vanishes and dies It seems dark death, but "life is life" Is death really life? Is she playing on us? Rough thought in the morning Wakes me up, cutting me like a knife. While I close my eyes in front of the mirror Trying to escape my thoughts My mind prepares her self for another day Blank. Space. To me the triviality of the day just gets clearer. @TessStevens for you poem challenge ^-^ hope you like it!
BPF1916 clipped in 1 collections
5 comments
Like it? I love it! So deep and so simple at the same time. I love the tone, very melancholy. Wonderful job! @BPF1916
Whoa! This might be my favorite work you've posted yet. I love how it captures that blurry feeling of just waking up, since you emphasize your thoughts intermingled with sharp physical sensations. The rhyme scheme makes it feel so whole, even though it is a collection of fragmented impressions. I really love the end - "to me the triviality of the day just gets clearer." It hit straight to the heart. Not a trivial day after all if you spent it creating such beautiful art :)
you're the one who just got straight to the feels :o my feels ahah such kind words ^-^ thank you so much for your appreciation! and for reading it in first place ^-^ and I really feel honor about you calling my writing "art"! that's the best compliment anyone could give! thank you very much @allischaaff *_*