LizArnone
2 years ago5,000+ Views
Saying "I Love You" First
If Love is a game then everyone seems to be playing like morons.
Maybe its the hook up culture, maybe its the constant pressure that is shoved down our throats from every rom com, love story gone wrong, burning passion that lights up the screens on every movie channel, or maybe college is really teaching us an unhealthy lifestyle.
Whatever it is, I think everyone is missing the point of how awesome it is to say "I love you" to someone and actually mean it.
I just recently read a thought catalog article about "22 Women On Why They Would Or Wouldn’t Say ‘I Love You’ Before Their Boyfriend Does" and it seriously stressed me out.
Women mentioned that saying "I love you" first goes against the girls rules of love, that you would look needy, that its good to be "old fashioned", or that being the one that cares less gives you more control.
Now let me ask you a quick question; Does any of that sound like LOVE to you?
No. Especially the whole control thing. Because if you are seeking to have more control, the upper hand, or are worried about looking needy, your relationship is not stable enough for actual love yet.
Throw the weird rule book aside and say I love You when you are ready. If they are the one you want to tell everything to, if you can cry in front of them without feeling stupid, if they are the first person that you think of during anything, if you never get tired of being around them and if you can fight fair, apologize quick, and forgive easy who cares who says "I Love You" first?
In fact, who cares if they can't say it back right way? It doesn't change your feelings and life is way to short to not speak your mind. As long as they respect you (which they will because you Love them), it will be fine. And soon enough they'll be saying it back to you.

Because Love is Love and you might as well stop trying to control it.

16 comments
I love the fact that you used an Optimus Prime quote
2 years ago·Reply
@LizArnone I feel that this is a bit contradictory. Love is not something that can be controlled as you say, but you also say "your relationship is not stable enough for actual love" due to various reasonings, but you cannot reasonably imply someone is not in love because of those things because love is not a concrete thing. I've been in love once, and my (now) ex-boyfriend said it first. I knew I loved him after knowing him only a month or two (and actually dating him a week), I just refused to believe it. I was afraid of the rejection that if I said it, he may not be quite at that stage yet. I also didn't want to be a clichéd teenager desperately pronouncing love in her first serious relationship. And guess what? When he said it, I still couldn't say it back, because I was afraid, even though I knew I did. I was afraid he would change his mind, or that he wasn't actually serious. My whole point in this lengthy comment is that it's unfair to question someone's love for a person because they're afraid of being "needy" or "seeking control". Love is scary as hell, because it means you're vulnerable to another person on a whole new level. This is also what makes it wonderful, but it's still terrifying nonetheless.
2 years ago·Reply
@VinMcCarthy @LizArnone optimus prime is total wise
2 years ago·Reply
@VinMcCarthy he is very wise what can i say!! haha
2 years ago·Reply
@kmccord95 i totalllllly get what you are saying and by boo means am i saying that saying i love you isn't scary....because it totally is! i said it to someone who didn't love me back and that was ROUGHHHH haha. but when i was referring to the idea of control and feeling needy, that seems like such an underdeveloped relationship. Love should have nothing to do with who has the upper hand or more control in a relationship and no one sound feel uncomfortable enough with the person to feel needy. I'm not saying love can't steam out of that because everyone starts relationships on unsure footing, but when you guys are really truly in love control especially should have nothing to do with it
2 years ago·Reply
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