hello, hola, annyeong! ~L here! How are you? How have you been? Hopefully you have had a good day, week, month, year. I have good news, soso new, bad news. some involve kpop other my daily life. Let me tell you a little bit about myself, first. **(WARNING may be long)** so first off my name is Luz M.(dont like this name) Yvette (name I go by) H.(last name) so you can call me L or Luz or Yvette or M.Y. Alpha . you choose. I'm 19 yes old I believe.... yeah I forget my age, always a year behind. keep saying I'm 18 cause I forget I'm 19.... XD I am Mexican American . mix with other things like Indian, irish, German, maybe chinese idk to much lol. I speak Spanish, English and very verrrry lil Korean.( learning)
I am weird, shy, funny, silly, VERY VERY clumsy, accident prone (?) I am way to kind or so everyone says and I know j let people walk all over me. I love making people smile and laugh. it brings me joy. I love loving people, leaving them know that they are loved, wanted and needed.
yes let me loves you. I love hugging people who have good energy or need it. XD my mom raised me to be respectful and wise and smart. so I respect everyone especially elders/adults. though if I'm disrespected then of course I won't . I have get anxiety attacks/ panic attacks, and I have social anxiety which is why I'm sooooo shy. I won't talk to anyone unless they come up to me first and seems to show interest I. wanting to talk to me or befriend me. depression runs in my family.
it's a constant struggle everyday. if it's not my anxiety fighting its my depression.... I'll admit it, its tough. especially when you have no one who understands or anyone close to talk to...my fily doesn't understand, my mom only a little but not much or she tries toooo ... okay so for now that's an okay intro of me. so recently I have been a stressed and have had anxiety attacks. on May 17th of this year something terrible happened I lost an aunt. she had five kids, three whole are older than 18 and two who are younger (15/14). the two youngest ended up living with us cause the older sister couldn't take care of them and the other families aren't the best kind(abusive). I have only seen my cousins about 3 times total when they were younger... any who. I love my family don't get me wrong, but since they have come to stay with us, it's been a mess. I tried to be understanding and patient but nothing seems to work. the have literally made me cry many times and hurt me many times.
they talk bad about me behind my back and are always making me feel bad. they say I'm babied all because I hug my mom and am affectionate towards her. of course I would hug my mom and tell her I love her and kiss her cheek or let her kiss mine. she had done admit for me and thanks to her I'm still her alive and breathing. I'm the same way with my dad but because he works I don't see him much. my parents raised me and my sis with love. unfortunately my aunt d was sick and never showed much affection to her kids, the older ones say it too. and because my aunt was bedridden she couldn't get on to the two young ones often and they ended up doing what they wanted. on sound the 16th of August we were celebrating my prima's birthday a day early cause her bday was on a Monday. prima is female cousin. so we went out to eat and while waiting for our food I started talking with her brother (Primo)(male cousin) we were debating about something /talking, cause we were bored and my dad didn't want us being on our phone since it was a family thing, and my prima got mad and upset so we had stop talking. alllll of a sudden he (my Primo) gets on his phone after my dad had said no phone and had even made my prima get off hers. my mom told him to get off, he straight out said no no no and stayed on it and disrespected my mom, we were all like
(me, mom, dad, sis,sis boyfriend) I became like
I was raging inside, burning, we all were. I felt like I was gonna
kill someone, we all did. my cause got mad and stormed out of there restaurant and then my prima got mad to and started cry, it all went to hell from there.... sigh so now thanks to that we are never going out on the weekends together cause they always do something like that, one cries over smallest thing the other gets mad and screams and punches wall. Sunday is or was the only time we could hang out with my dad cause that was his day off now he doesn't wanna go out cause of that. at first in the beginning I understood or was patient with them acting like that because their mom my aunt passed away. but now nor any more. they always saying I'm judgung them or my family is when we are not, and they are the ones actually judging us, and they say I'm shady/two-face when I'm not and my prima says she is and knows it and send proud of it, they lazier them me, want me to feed them take them out and always want to spend money, we aren't rich and just because my dad owns a restaurant doesn't mean we rich. the boy my Primo wants to work but he wants his money right away and since he still kinda young he cant get a pay check so my dad had to pay him out of pocket and sometimes he doesn't have the money to pay him. I get paycheck but sometimes I can't cash it cause my dad had other works to pay and doesn't know if the restaurant has enough money in Bank to cash the check. sigh I have tried talking to them and they don't listen
that's all they hear and the girl says she won't take advice from anyone. they found out I had anxiety because I had gotten an attack around them and they says they have that I have it and they don't get why I'm like that and all these mean things. I know this is hard on them and all but do they not know it's also hard on us???!! sigh but that's the problem I'm having at home. what do you think?? any advice? going through something similar??
I hugs you! let's cry together! >.< anywho, I work more so I'm tired and busy and the college I was thinking of going to doesn't have what I want to study most which it music production.... XD I love music! . gonna do industrial design too. okay so kpop time!!!
I have recently gotten out/listen to BTS!!! THEY ARE EPIC!! They cool, I like their songs so far and them dance moves YO!!!!!
the fine too~ yeah! I'm becoming an Army!!
they got me!! I see why some people love them. hehe. I like one song from them the most, it's called I need you. it's nice every nice. this one guy in BTS got me like
he cute he epic. them moves, that voice, them eyes, that butt! lol XD I only notice butt cause of dance, I was trying to look at the moves and BAM! BUTT! (°\\\°)
come here oppa. I will find out his name and then let you guys know. and probably draw him. ha-ha anywhooooo~ is late (1:28am) I got to get up early cause I have work and I haven't been sleeping well... never really do... im an insomniac.... sigh.... so
bye bye, adiós! Hope you have an awesome day!!! next time I'll talk more about kpop related things lol. until next time!! ~L out! (^_^)/