Sitting alone, in a crowded room, hearing that song in my head. The one that you played me first... I really should have known better. I was careless. Again. Letting another one in. I forgot my biggest rule: "Never be his fool." Boy, did I fail this time... My heart betrayed me, and you let me fall. Not that it was hard. You did everything a man should do, naturally, unknowing. You saw me for who I was deep inside. You gave me time and respect. Laughter. Joy. Passion. You were amazing at just Being You. It was a summer breeze, warm and tender, against a frozen heart. And then it just... changed. Like a train, we flew off the tracks. Became a different beast. You were reaching for me in one moment, pushing me away in the next. Mixing signals at every turn. Up and down. Inside out. I turned for you. Blissful. But never ignorant. A willing accomplice... Stupid. Careless. How quickly you broke your promise! How quickly you broke my heart! So you couldn't hurt me more, you said. Typical lines of cowardly lies. And I saw through every one. Until you admitted your fear.. And so I must bleed because You are afraid? I must pick up the pieces because You are broken? And now my heart is broken, too. Suddenly, overcome, I have to leave this room, and I can't do it fast enough. They cannot see me cry or I will have to explain all this pain that is You. Ripping me apart from the inside out. You. Who never understood what I Actually wanted. You. The only one I want to talk to right now. You. The one I thought was my friend. You. And me. Alone. Here I am. Alone. A ball on a strangers guest room bed, shaking with sobs. Alone. Why does it have to hurt so much? Why did you have to go so far? Why didn't you just listen? What did I say that ruined it all? Why did you leave me alone? ©2015 SJS. All Rights Reserved.
I'll always save a spot for you, right where it was. You're welcome to have it back. I told you I'd always forgive you. And I do. That's love in friendship, you know.