paulisadroid
2 years ago5,000+ Views
Top Three Snacks to Eat After a Break Up
You've just been dumped. There are tons of things you can do to deal with this. You can go speed dating, you can drunkenly call your ex-significant other, or you can do the best possible thing in this situation: eat a bunch of snacks in your underwear at home.
Snacks are fun. They taste good and it's scientifically proven that eating snacks after a break up will make you feel so much better (no it's not). After you settle into your couch with the TV on, you're going to need an actual snack. After asking a couple friends, I've found that these are the top three post-relationship snacks.

Chips (any flavor)

Potato Chips, or any kind of chips really. There's something poetic and tragic about sitting on your bed, Netflix playing episodes of New Girl (or really that one episode where Nick and Jess break up in Season 2), and your sad hand all greasy from the bag in your lap. Why didn't they make it, you ask yourself, why didn't we make it, you continue. It's okay, just keep stuffing your face. My personal favorite chip is the standard Lay's. The saltier the better, it makes it hard to differentiate my tears from the snack food entering my mouth.

Little Debbie (the entire product line)

Little Debbie's tagline should be longer than the above picture. It should read:
Little Debbie Has A Snack For You Especially Since Your Significant Other of 8 Years Just Broke Up With You For That Weird Freshman That Plays Harmonica
It doesn't matter what Little Debbie product you eat. It will always help. Zebra Cakes? Yup. Oatmeal Creme Pies? Oatmeal is gross, but yup. Nutty Bars? Okay, sure, yup. Cosmic Brownies? I've never heard of those before today, but double yup. You just got your heartbroken and Travis Biff, or whatever that freshman's name is, is an idiot and you deserve these snacks.

Ice Cream (all of it)

It's late into the night and you've been doing that weird salty then sweet thing with Little Debbie's little snackies and your super salty chips so, naturally, you find yourself napping through the afternoon. When you wake up, you're still heartbroken and you're still driven to eat the feelings away.
So it's ice cream time. It doesn't matter what kind. Just add chocolate syrup and mix it all around and stuff your face until you can't breathe. You might get brain freeze but that's okay because it'll distract you from the pain inside your chest. Don't worry though it'll go away and you'll remember what it feels like to have the heart ripped out of your chest.
Damn you Travel Bergendorf, or whatever that weird freshman's name was.
@allischaaff What do you think? Any snack or recipe recommendations after a relationship?
18 comments
Corn-on-the-cob, KFC potato wedges, and a cup of lemonade and I'll be a happy gal again.
2 years ago·Reply
I honestly think that cheeseburgers should be added to this list...
2 years ago·Reply
YES to the icecream! I’m such a big fan anything chocolate too. chocolate cake with wine is the BEST for recovering from anything emotional.
2 years ago·Reply
I second the cheeseburgers thing
2 years ago·Reply
This is awesome!! Hahaha. I think @buddyesd and @danidee would also appreciate this card lol. Not because they got dumped or anything, just because I think all of us share a mutual appreciation for snacks and funny stuff haha. @rodiziketan, you're a foodie, maybe you also have some breakup snack ideas? I for one recommend Ben & Jerry's Half Baked ice cream, because there's NO problem that cookie dough and brownie bites can't solve. <3
2 years ago·Reply
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