You Could Be A Zombie Soon: FrankenVirus Discovered
Get your survival gear together bitches, the end is neigh.
Siberia is a frozen hell-scape. Commonly referred to in pop culture as a place you do NOT want to go. Lately, Siberia has given us yet another reason to avoid going there at all costs: A FRANKENVIRUS.
I know what you're thinking, this is bullshit right? Some fake news story designed for clicks, but I kid you not, this shit is real.
Scientests discovered a 30,000-year-old virus in Siberia. They plan on reanimating the thing and exploring it's structure, pathogens and effect on humans.
It's name? Mollivirus sibericum. See, science.
This giant virus is a thousandth of a millimeter long. And by scientific standards of microviruses and what not, that makes it look extremely dangerous.
From the knowledge we gathered from Dawn of the Dead, the Walking Dead and all other zombie lore, we know that viruses are not chill. They're the exact opposite.
I swear to God if these people unleash a virus we are getting rid of Siberia altogether. Sorry bout it.
[Here's a picture of the sucker. It even looks dastardly in black and white.]
The scientists in question (who all seem to be too weird to come forward, save for the dude below) promise to make sure the virus can't infect humans or animals, ensuring that the destruction of humanity won't be their fault if it somehow is unleashed.
Phys.org spoke with the OG scientist,Jean-Michel Claverie, who discovered this freaky virus and he claimed that there will be many safety precautions in place before they reanimate it, "If we are not careful, and we industrialize these areas without safeguards we run the risk of one day waking up viruses such as small pox that we thought were eradicated."
Damn, I don't want small pox. I also don't want to be a soul-sucking, flesh-eating cretin of a zombie either.
I'm also not going to Siberia any time soon, so I guess we're safe?
So as long as you're not planning on taking a beautiful vacation to frozen-ass Siberia, you should be chill.
But seriously, superviruses do exist, people wouldn't be smart enough to make them up for film and TV if they didn't.