If you haven't read my super excited for Fall posts (ya missing out), I will stand boldly again and say the heat has gone on long enough! Screw the beach, I don't give a shit about being tan, frozen drinks do not cool me down, and I am more then ready to pack away the shorts because I will go insane if this heat doesn't end right now.
To all you die hard summer fans out there, please try and tell me these 7 things don't completely suck.
1. It's too hot for a blanket, but feet need to be covered.
I don't know about any of you but I like my feet covered when I sleep. The monster under the bed has seriously traumatized all of us and lets be real, being covered with the blanket is the only way to protect yourself. To bad with this heat even touching a blanket will actually set you on fire.
2. Swamp Ass
Giggle all you want but we all fall prey to the swamp ass. From sitting too long in a car or stuck in a class with terrible AC, the uncomfortable and embarrassing feeling of a sweaty butt is the absolute worst.
3. Pretty much always being in a state of way too hot.
Being overly hot makes me grumpy, frazzled and seriously annoyed at everything. Just give me the cold air and a toasty sweater and my mood will mellow so fast. Oh and don't even get me started on the frizziness that is my hair.
4. Those hot ass seat belts.
The car becomes it's own little portable version of inferno hell fires when left in the sun for all of 10 minutes. Which it why it confuses me further why morons leave their kids and dogs in the car in this heat. Stop the heat, stop the idiots from endangering their kids and pups.
5. Terrible BO
The heat just makes everything smellier. The garbage in your kitchen, the grime on the street, and the person sitting next to you who is sweating just as much as you are! We should all be required to wear those little car air fresheners out of respect for each other.
6. Even trying to pee becomes a terribly gross issue.
My bathroom is not air conditioned (if yours is I am coming over), and slamming that door is like entering a sauna. I mean come on, all bathrooms should have good air ventilation OR AC because no one wants to be dripping sweat while trying to do their business.
7. Forehead kisses arent cute in the heat...they are just fucking gross.
Awe, so you wanna sneak a cute little forehead kiss while snuggling...TO BAD! Your lips will be covered with someone else's sweat, #HOT am I right?
So be gone summer, I am over you and the cruel way you make me sweat when I am just trying to find my car keys.