2 years ago
JonPatrickHyde
in English · 2,426 Views
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SOME GUITAR GUARD CAT BIOS
ROCKO - The Bronx Maine Coon is so used to just getting up and going all hard-core NYC on people he's sort of taken on some less attractive personality traits... He'll just jump up and pummel you for LOOKING at his Sadowsky Bass. I mean, I can't blame him - the guitars made by my friend Roger Sadowsky are pretty much the tonal end-all-be-all.
HUBBA BUBBA - In an odd North/South feud - Southern Georgia Maine Coone Hubba Bubba sits in a more casual, relaxed stance - mocking his "Yankee" cousin Rocko. H-Bub (his nickname) has often said that he hopes some "Carpet-baggin' Yankee Doodle Doo" comes back to the South to steal his favorite bass because he'd re-write history and win him a civil war of his own. And although I was born and raised in the South, I've never really understood all this North/South - "War of Northern Aggression" (what hard core Southerns call the Civil War) silliness. I mean jeez people (and cats), get over it!
NONA (Nona The Eviscerator – also called the “Siamese of Destruction”) - One of the most feared and respected Ninja Guitar Guard Cats in the history of the profession. Born deep within the perilous mountains of Siam – Nona started her training as a 2 day-old kitten. At 8 weeks-old having shown an aptitude for violence on a Kurosawaian level – she was shipped to the hidden Cave of Caerbannog deep in the rocky wilds of the English Moors where she would be trained by the most fearsome warrior in the history of modern military combat; the Rabbit of Caerbannog. Now in semi-retirement in Southern California - Nona is teaching a select handful of young cats who've shown a tendency towards blood lust that rivals her distant ancestor, Genghis Wrath of Khan (the cat of notorious warrior Genghis Khan). Nona is guarding a VERY RARE Jazz bass that was converted to dual humbuckers - featuring some of the rarest AAAAA Tube Quilt Maple ever logged.
AISA (The Death Bringer) - Aisa, who is the sibling of Nona - it's a long story involving a lost sea captain (The Pilot) who learns the ways of an Asian culture and adopts their warrior code - anyway... lacking her sister's gift of gratuitous violence and mind-bending accuracy when dispatching her foes, she became the "Shadow of Death" - a silent death bringer whose stealth and silence is legendary. By the time you realize she's there - it's too late, you're already dea.................
ZEPHYR (The Leopard of Massacre) - Zephyr is an enigma, he's a lone hunter whose large size and strength belies the bard-like nature of his quiet soul. He's a warrior-poet who brings a beautiful symmetry to death as he brutally dismembers those who'd dare attempt to steal from him. He sits in a zen-like calmness - then with an explosion of energy that seems otherworldly in its speed and violence - he's on you like a lion on a gazelle; tearing your head of from behind and making oddly artistic patterns in the carpet with your blood.
ABOUT THESE PHOTOS AND THE STORIES THAT ACCOMPANY THEM -
My collection - Cats Who Guard Guitars - was born from a conversation I had with Alison Webster - a fellow photographer and wife of Death Metal legend Alex Webster (Cannibal Corpse). I have done some custom design (paint graphic) work for Alex's guitars in the past. When looking at my collection of cat and guitar photos she commented they looked like "guard cats". I stated they were actually ninja cats and guarded my guitars with a ferocity unmatched in the animal kingdom. She said, "you should write outrageous stories to go along with each photo." And a new obsession was born.
2 comments
Is ROCKO currently seeking new band members? I’d be willing to be a singer for his band! pretty please!
2 years ago·Reply
10
That's the cutest Siamese I've ever seen. And here I thought I was forever Zephyr-biased.
2 years ago·Reply
10