3 years ago5,000+ Views
So a couple days ago (maybe last week, I don't really know the exact amount of time), I made a very short list of the best foods to eat right after a break up. Even though it was short, I thought that I had a pretty good list. But you guys, apparently, felt differently.
So here's another list (for those who missed it) of the best break-up foods according to some Vinglers... Vinglites...? I don't know the right term but you get what I'm saying.
@alywoah and @VinMcCarthy think that cheeseburgers would be an ideal food to eat post-break up. Part of me thinks that this is a ridiculous idea because I don't know how many cheeseburgers you guys can eat without wanting to pass out or hang out on porcelain for a couple of hours. Maybe it's 'cause I'm getting older, but I can't handle greasy meats too well these days...
Anyway! The other side of me really wants to side with them because eating a greasy burg might be the best thing to do in this situation. It's like, "hey my heart hurts, let me just clog up all the arteries so it stops pumping blood". And that's an argument I can get behind.
@allischaaff and @nicolejb both really like the idea of ice cream. I'm a little lactose-intolerant so even though I really wanted to put ice cream on this list, I feel like I would probably die after eating one bite. Or maybe that's what I'm going for? I'm not really sure at this point.
Also, extra brownie points (eh? get it?) for explaining what Half Baked actually was. Growing up, it's what my parents would call me when I would come home late after a night of, well, uh, I guess, um, nothing. Forget it. Ice cream.
@cindystran is fond of KFC potato wedges and lemonade. Which is a pretty standard thing to like, I guess. I mean, it's not like KFC potato wedges are the worst potato-based side in all of Fast-Food. They're okay, I guess. Actually, you know what? I'll stop being such a stick in the mud, I'm down for some wedgies.
I can see myself with a box of them (they come in boxes right) between my legs while I binge-watch New Girl until the taste of over-processed potato turns into something that reminds me of an old lead pencil and the tears sort of just dry up because my sodium levels are through the roof.
@buddyesd and his Cookies and Cream Root Beer wins the award for the most toppings on a break up food in the history of break up foods. I don't know if I'd be able to make this on my own (see: too lazy) but it sounds like something that I would desperately need. I don't know if there's some kind of Root Beer store that'll make this for me but I guess that's what the internet is for, right?
The only thing I'd really say about this is that the cherry is definitely not optional. I need that cherry, man. It might be a mood thing but part of me feels like if I did get a cherry, I'd have a weird time eating it. Like, I'm at the restaurant and I decide to eat the cherry first but it takes me a while to get it off the stem and that's when my ex will walk in and see me chewing on weird cherry like a weird guy.
@mchlyang has got the right idea by completely omitting the idea of food and replacing it with good ol' fashioned alcohol. I don't know what it says about me but I think this suggestion beats out any of the other suggestions along with the original list of break up snacks.
There's nothing better than sitting in your room, listening to some Elliott Smith, drinking a bunch of weird beers (see: cheap) and having some top-shelf liquor (see: top-shelf) and drinking the pain away. The best part about doing this is that, eventually, you'll come full circle and just start crying again anyway.
Firstly, this might be one of my favorite cards. Secondly, @allischaaff, Half Baked is pretty much all anyone ever needs post-breakup. And thirdly, man, when I'm feeling shitty and don't want to go out because some guy has taken a proverbial crap on my spirits, I usually just like the act of cooking myself a meal. I'll make a homemade pizza or I'll make some sort of ethnic food like Japanese-style ramen or steak tacos or Persian kofta. I'm kind of a huge art dork and focusing on something that requires handling some tools and having some sort of skillset is just therapeutic for me when I feel like crap. Plus there's that sense of accomplishment once you're done. Oh, and then I pair it with alcohol. There's always alcohol. Man... that was an embarrassingly long response.
Dude...I can eat quite a bit of cheeseburgers. During my powerlifting days, after workouts, I'd eat 1lb pound burgers -- it was great. And yessss KFC potato wedges!!!!!!!!!!!!! I definitely agree with @CindyStran
you could always add a bit of alcohol to the float lol
@nicolejb actually we got a good string going on another card, I'll tag you :)
@nicolejb it would be pretty...sweet...right? Lol ok that was a awful attempt at a pun :p
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