Real world options just not panning out? Need a new bang buddy (or two) in your life? Welp, when you're reeeally out of options (like have you tried these other awesome dating apps?), there's always Tinder.
Tindering is a bit of an art. But fortunately, you're talking to the right person: I found two long-term relationships through Tinder. For reals. I guess you might call me Tinderella.
If you want to Tinder successfully, there are a few things you need to consider. Learn from my expert tips below! (And yes, I am proud to call myself a Tinder expert.)
1. Your Photos
Do you want a relationship, or a good time? If you want a relationship, DELETE TINDER RIGHT NOW. For reals. A good man is hard to find in the Tinder-sphere.
If you want a good time – y'know, some boozin', some cuddles, some wink-wink – then prepare your A-game and roll up your sleeves. Time to find some sexy photos of yourself.
I'm kind of a down-for-anything girl, so I try to showcase this in photo selection. Yes, I'm pretty, yes, here I am in a bikini – but I also have a fun personality, and I try to make that show too. Here's my suggested photo order:
1. A clear shot showcasing your pretty face – individual shot. Group photos are a no-no. (If you're curious as to why, I can explain.) Bonus sexy points if you're scantily clad (but not trashily so.)
2. I'm a fun gal who likes to do __________ (insert cool interest here).
3. Here's what I look like in a bikini or tight-fitting outfit (show off that bod!)
4. Funny or group one, showing off your sense of humor or sense of a great time.
5. I'm drop dead gorgeous, look how pretty I am in this shot!
6. Provocative photo (mine is me with a lollipop. I've also used one of me trying on a see-through mesh shirt. Yes, I'm shameless.)
If you have a problem with posting these photos, DELETE TINDER. It's a nasty place, and if you're not down to clown, then it's not for you. Again, try these better apps if you're looking for Prince Charming!
2. Your Range
If you're into older guys, like I am, I say start at one year older than your age, and go up to about 7 years older. Those are the guys who have their sh*t together. And they're usually better at making you feel good, too.
If you're into younger puppy types, you can do that too, but just beware of them catching feelings. Sigh. The feelings catchers. I don't have a lot of pity for them, because, well, I'm just not one. And I don't like when people ruin my good time by catching them. So also, on that note...
3. Mental Preparation
Here are the rules: You're here to have a casual good time. (If you're not, DELETE TINDER. NOW. SAVE YOURSELF THE HORROR.) You're not here to find a permanent thing, so be ready to settle just a little. For example, the bang-worthy 6' 5" rower with washboard abs, who's maaaybe not the next Einstein? It could be good for now. Give him a chance.
Know what you like. Be shallow. Be picky in your swipes, too. Only swipe right if you picture yourself sleeping with this guy. If you don't, don't bother, because that'll just end up being a lot of messages you don't feel like dealing with.
If a guy bugs you or creeps you out or makes you feel unsafe, be ready to block him. Don't feel bad. Don't apologize. Just ruthlessly, mercilessly block him.
Be smart. Don't meet a guy in private – meet in public first. Feel out his intentions. Is he a terrible person? Is he significantly bigger and stronger than you? Is he into weird, weird sex sh*t? In that case, tread carefully. No potential hookup is worth risking your safety over. Find nice, handsome guys who will treat you right for as long as you choose to be in their life.
Now you're ready to swipe, swipe, swipe! Flirt your heart out and make your Tinder dreams come true. Just know they might not include a glass slipper, exactly. More like a pair of leopard-print pumps from Forever 21 – they don't quite fit right, and they don't last long, but they're really fun to wear for a couple nights out (and, if you're like me, they make you feel empowered).
BE SAFE AND ASK ME IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS! I'm always ready to be your Tinder Fairy godmother. ♥