paulisadroid
2 years ago500+ Views
Something About Loneliness That Feels Like Home
[The following recording has been discovered after the subject finished the Clinical Trial. Was not aware that Subject had recorded something without my knowledge.]
I really don't know what's going on here. I mean, you've taken me up and down the coast, you take me out to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner every other day. You have people follow me, pretend to be my friends, pretend to care about me. But I don't understand the point. I've been doing this for a couple of years now and I haven't seen anything other than the monthly checks that have been coming in.
I'm not complaining, I just want to know what I'm doing here. You have me surrounded by people but I feel like they aren't actually there. I know they exist in front of me physically, there's no denying that. I'm not that crazy, I know they exist. But I don't feel like I have any real connection with them. Not a single one.
[sounds of sipping coffee] And you know, of course I was sad about this. I was at first, you know? I mean, like, you can't go around feeling alienated all the time. It's not healthy to feel like you don't have anyone. To feel completely alone in your everyday life, but that's where I was at.
But then something happened. Something strange that I don't really know how to deal with. Suddenly, I don't feel comfortable around people anymore. So, I'd take walks. Up and down my block, then to the water, and just sit there and pretend I didn't quit smoking cigarettes. I feel more comfortable and more happy and I feel more pleasure and more excitement when I'm alone. I don't want to be around anyone anymore. Is that what this is all about? You turn me from extrovert to introvert and back and forth over and over again. Is that what the pills do? Oh, you're coming back...
[end of recording]
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