They say it will come when you least expect it.
As I sit in the Starbucks staring out the huge window people watching, I begin to think. What is out there for me? Anything? Anyone? Maybe, maybe not. I find myself getting emotional at the idea of being thirty years old and a cat lady. I mean, it's a possibility. I see people walking down the street hand in hand, kissing their significant other goodbye and smiling while texting. All the things I long for, at some point in time.
I feel like I always find myself taking ten steps forward to take twenty steps backward. Who knew people watching could be so depressing on a Monday morning? My mind is running a mile per minute and all I can think about is the thought of someone being out there for me -- or not.
The thought of their being over 8 million people in this over crowded city I've grown to love, gives me a sense of hope -- in a sense. But what if out of all 8 million [maybe, more than half of them being men], there is still no one out there for me? I'm not sure why finding love is even a priority right now in my life.
With love usually comes all the other negativity we try to avoid. Heartbreak, trust issues, loneliness [yes, you still get lonely] and so much more. Like is it even worth all of that right now? Part of me wants to say no, but somewhere deep down -- I'm ready for all the baggage that comes with love. I want to go through it all with that one person who is willing to go through it all with me. I want a soulmate. Someone who is down for fighting the fight together and not doing it alone. I'm up for the challenge.
Even as I sit in this coffee shop and contemplate my life, love is still a huge factor in my mind. I know it is out there somewhere. What if my soulmate is sitting in a coffee shop right now on the Lower East Side writing about how he longs for love someday as well? How ironic would that be? Although I doubt that's the case.
The idea makes the thought of someone loving me and love someday being on my side, all the more enjoyable.
Love is patient.
I keep reminding myself, but just how patient is love? I'll wait.
[to read pt. 1 -- click here]