3 years ago500+ Views
[Subject is smoking cigarette. Seems more interested in his phone]
I haven't been to church in a long time but I figured that I might as well, you know, head in there for once.
Yeah, it was last Sunday. I got up early and just walked down there. It wasn't that bad of a walk. But anyway, that's not important. I've never really felt this way about another person before you know? So, I felt like I should head up in there and do something. I don't know. I was raised really religious. Like, really, really, religious.
So, it's not like I wasn't going in there without knowing what I was doing. It's just, uh, I spent the last couple of days spending nights at her place and she isn't necessarily a morning person when I'm around and I seem to become one when we spend a night together. So, I get up, early, and I kind of just look at her. But not in that weird, gross way, you know? It's more of a, like, I'm in awe, I guess.
I don't know if you've ever had this before but, um, how do I put this? She doesn't have to do anything. She just has to sit there, next to me, and I feel a little less tense. It's like I spent most of my life feeling like I carried the world on my back like Atlas of old, you know? And I met this wonderful, this beautiful, amazing girl and she, she helps me carry that, you know? The best part about all this is she doesn't even know it. She'll ask me, like, why are you hanging out with me? and shit like that. But she has no idea that I'm next to her because it's the only time I really feel like myself. So, that's like a really, really intense feeling. To be in love... [pauses, smiles, laughs quietly] yeah, to be in love with your best friend.
Anyway, yeah, whatever, uh. I was in church. Because I felt like I need to thank something, anything, God, the Universe, whatever, I don't feel like I deserve this girl. But I have her and I'm going to fight and try my best because it's all I want. "It"? No, I mean, a future is all I want. And I'll do whatever I need to, so I can have it. Is that weird? Is that fucked up?
[end of interview]
[This has been an Interview with a Man About Himself]
That whole paragraph about how she doesn't have to do anything, how she makes him feel less tense. That's excellent. I've been wondering how to explain that to someone.
@ButterflyBlu thanks so much because even then i feel like i did not explain it as well as i could have