I am so guilty of being anxious, partly because I can't help it. The flip side is all about taking ownership of my insecurity.
Frankly, I have a low self-image. And that low self-image breeds non-chillness. My greatest fear is being seen as lazy or unproductive, and that has led to a lot of worrying and a lot of anxiety. Life isn't fun that way! Let's do this together. More chill and less worry!
Here are 5 things I've been doing to be more chill, and if you're anything like me, they'll really work.
1. Take a breath before you say anything.
This tip may seem impractical, but when you're moving too fast for your own good it will help. It's so easy to get carried away when you have a lot of ideas and really want to impress people. By taking a breath before you react to something, or suggest something, it will give your brain that delay that happens naturally in chiller people. Like...you're re-training yourself to think slowly and carefully rather than quick and judgmentally.
Trust me, you'll see a difference. I've felt a lot more collected while breathing through my thoughts.
2. Try to listen fully.
Most of the time when we have a lot of ideas or we're really excited, we let the wisdom of others fly by while we wait for our turn to talk. That's no way to learn and that's no way to live. The past few months I have really tried to listen, and not in the contrived sense of sitting there and nodding...but really listening. Taking in everything my friends, co-workers, bosses whatever...had to say really has given me more perspective.
Through learning from others we can learn about ourselves, and in turn...be more chill.
3. Reward yourself for happiness over achievement.
I'm still having a hard time with this concept. I think once I master it I will be grade A chill forever. Different brains work in different ways. I've met a lot of people who only reward themselves for happiness...and that makes them lazy. Conversely I am a person who only values achievement, so I'm miserable. See? Neither one is good without the other. In order to balance this we have to figure out what makes us happy without being destructive, and really put faith in that.
For example if you are less anti-social, and you have a good time with people you should reward yourself. Your worth doesn't just exist in promotions and accolades. It hinges on your overall happiness, and without that, well...things aren't fun.
4. Ask, "Will this matter in a year?"
This notion has helped me let go of a lot of dumb stuff. If you're always worrying about little things, how can you move forward. I think it's essential to be thorough with your life decisions, but it's necessary to understand that not everything is life-changing. Some things just happen, and it's not worth your time, or precious energy to worry about those things.
A friend recently told me about "mental energy" which is just as valuable as physical energy. Really though, don't waste it on dumb things that will never help you. It's okay to let go.
5. "Be silently drawn" or observe first, then act.
This phrase has slowly changed my outlook on life. It's a line from a poem by Rumi. I first saw it as a tattoo, on Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day.He's had a history of getting into trouble because of his anxiety. And through a lot of years and a lot of mistakes he learned to be silently drawn. Which to me, means to observe first, then act. I am an act first, ask questions later kind of person. And sometimes that does not work ,nor should it.
There is so much value in observation, sitting back and understanding that you do not have to prove yourself every second of every day will bring you peace. It'll also make you way more chill, which will bring you closer toward the ultimate goal of happiness.