Okay! I was tagged by @B1A4BTS5ever to do the #1 Rule of Life. Do what makes you happy challenge. This challenge was started by @katiems if you click the link below, it'll take you to the original card. http://www.vingle.net/posts/1076677?shsrc=v The rules are: 1) Make a card about a struggle you've had, or something that has stood in front of your happiness. 2) Comment on other Kpop Fams story, give advice and then relate their story to a kpop song or idol it reminds you of.
So my story is simple to others, but broken down in 100+ scenarios by me. I'm Aimee, I'm a perfectionist and I over analyze everything. If anything has stood in the way of my happiness, it's simply ME. When I was in school, I had a lot of peers that referred to me never being good enough. I was one that always gave it my 110. To a perfectionist like myself, there isn't a good try, better luck next time scenario. It's either excel or fail. No in between. Anxiety doesn't help in this factor either.
I love being around people completely opposite of me. Those laid back carefree characters. Those people are who I wish deep down I could be like, in every way shape form or fashion. Now, I look happy-go-lucky, but I work my tail off because every simple detail needs to be in order. To most students, procrastination works best for them, not me. I am one who starts projects months before the due date. If I feel it's not up to my standards, I will start over. That's not fun when you have 15 page term papers due. My advisor noticed this about me, and pointed out that I make things harder on myself than they actually are. He said I was one of his best students, articulate, intelligent, but a four step process to me, is actually 100 steps after I analyze every detail.
If I get stressed, I make myself sick. I lose hair in the process as well. My doctor told me to take natural anxiety pills, that I found at a health food store. Helpful right? Wrong! I began to overanalyze that as well. Anything I do, there is always a better solution. My head doesn't have a switch off button, so I become my own worst critic. My friends and family love me regardless, but this is hard on me.
This is something I'm slowly working to overcome. Slowly. I still bawl like a baby if I get anything less than an "a" on projects, but I'm slowly taking the step to overcome this.
I love kpop because it makes me happy, and makes me feel like the person I want to be. When I am feeling overwhelmed or stressed, I put my phone on shuffle and just let the songs fall be they may. It helps calm me down and realize that I'm human and am bound to make mistakes, I just have to learn and progress in the process. I've listened to Kpop over the years and it has been my go to, to keep my nerves. It inspires me to look at the good from every level and angle.
My goal is to be like this meme sometime in the future. Where I live for the day, and takes things as they come; not by stressing over little detail.