You guys, it's September 23rd, which means absolutely nothing to any of you living south of the equator (sorry, @InPlainSight), but means absolutely everything to everyone else.
It's the first day of Fall!
Fall is my favorite season in the entire universe of seasons, and I decided that I should make a card explaining while the rest of you should be getting pumped for Autumn!
Do you know what's better than jumping into a giant pile of freshly raked, crunchy autumn leaves? That was a trick question because the answer is so clearly NOTHING.
Every other month of the year, apples are just a boring ass fruit your mom packs in your lunchbox. But now, they're the highlight of the season. Apple cider, apple pie, caramel apples, apple donuts. Fact: If you're never gone apple picking, you've never truly lived.
We all secretly hate these, but we still find ourselves going back every year. There's the jump scares, the fake blood, the itchy hay bales you have to sit on. And then there's the douche-canoe with the chainsaw. It's just not a true haunted hayride without him.
THE WORLD SERIES!
I am a huge fan of baseball, and nothing gets me more excited than the MLB Playoffs. These were especially exciting during the 90s when I lived in the NYC area and the Yankees won all the damn time. Then Joe Torre sold his soul to the Dodgers - but hey, still a great game!
I don't know about you guys, but when it comes to Halloween, I'm obsessed with using as much fake blood as possible. Princess costume? How about being a ZOMBIE princess? Clown? How about a HEADLESS clown? (I've got a great Halloween tutorial right here!)
There is nothing better to come home to after a day full of Black Friday shopping than a sandwich of Thanksgiving leftovers. Stuffing, turkey, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes. Yeah, all that Turkey Day pigging out was just the beginning, dudes.
You've got to love Oktoberfest. It's the St Patty's Day of Autumn in a sense where suddenly everyone you know is milking their 1/8th of heritage as an excuse to get schnockered. Plus there's pretzels and bratwurst and schnitzel for days. Thanks for the good eats, Germany.
Okay, so we all agree that the part where you have to scrape out everything inside is the most obnoxious thing since putting together an IKEA malm bed, but it's way fun to design your own pumpkin. Especially as an adult because you can do it while getting wine-drunk.
So what's YOUR favorite part of the season?
Let me know in the comments below! (Extra points if you can leave out the phrase 'Pumpkin Spice'.)