3 years ago1,000+ Views
This was created by @katiems but @B1A4BTS5ever was the one to tag me. #1 Rule of life. Do what makes YOU happy!" Here are the rules: 1: Make a card about something you've been struggling with or something that has stood in the way of your happiness before, is there something in Kpop that inspired you or has helped you through this? Share your story! 2: Comment on fellow Kpop Vingle fams story, give some advice and then relate their story to a Kpop song or idol it reminds you of!
My story: My almost my entire life I've been known as the family disappointment. My family is full of a bunch a freaking geniuses, which makes me happy for them but the amount of pressure that comes with cousins who got into MIT and Stanford is overwhelming. I am by no means a stupid person, but I'm not exactly valedictorian material either. I'm average, which to my family means that I'm a failure. For a long time I put up with their constant jabs at my lack of knowledge and I tried really hard to study more and become the intellectual they wanted me to be, but I couldn't please them. Family is supposed to support and encourage you, but all my family did was make me discouraged.
Depression is something that is unfortunately very common at my school. We all put up our best smiles and pretend things are alright when they really aren't. Just a couple months ago the class of 2016 (my year) lost a friend due to depression. I guess the rate of depression at my school has gotten significantly higher over the years since we how have suicide hotline numbers posted at almost every bathroom stall at school and we recently had two assemblies about depression and anxiety. However, I don't have depression. Depression is when you're constantly feeling sad, but I don't really feel anything. I walk around feeling empty all the time. I smile, but it doesn't reach my eyes. If I do get emotional, then it's mostly only when I'm really sad or angry. My family all wonder why I've grown up to be such a cold person when I used to be such a bubbly child. The reason is because after a while I couldn't take it anymore. They broke me. I forgot to mention that at one point I was also bullied and at another point I had basically no friends. My family in addition to my life at school tore up the little bit of happiness that I had.
I wouldn't go as far as saying that I'm over it because I honestly I've felt this way for so many years that I don't really know how to feel otherwise. Kpop has had a positive influence on my life, well, music in general has made me a slightly happier person. I'd just like to say that I'm glad that I found out about vingle and that I've "met" all of you guys. Seeing all of your cards and participating in the challenges that you all come up with has been really fun so far. I'd also like to apologize for the overwhelming amount of non kpop related cards I post on here as well as thank the people who actually read them. I can't exactly speak out at home, so I like to rant on social media. I used to do it on twitter but since vingle has become my new favorite social media site I've been posting my rants here instead. Plus, kpop allows me to look at cute, talented guys and fangirl.
Emptiness is actually a sign of depression. It is definitely much deeper than just feeling sad. I by no means no anything super extensive on the subject, but I can just really relate to you. I'm sorry you have had so much forced on you that has made you feel empty and I'm glad that k-pop can shed some happiness. If you ever need to talk to someone, I am here! On my card of this challenge, @katiems recommended a song that I really enjoyed, We Can by SuJu. I also like to listen to B1A4, since most of their songs are very happy in tone. They even have ones about taking care of yourself, like A Glass of Water. And Who Am I is also another one that is very self introspective and one of my favorites by them. Thanks for sharing! Wish you all the happiness.
@katiems thanks for the song recommendation!
I can relate. Emptiness is a form a depression one which I have also felt before. it sucks but I'm glad you have Kpop to help you and make you happy as well as everyone in our Kpop Vingle family! ^^ The song that comes to mind is Home by Roy Kim <3 its a beautiful song and even if you feel empty and your family brings you down, we may not know you in person but we Kpop fans stick together and support each other! we're always here even if no one else is! stay strong and be happy with the help from Kpop and all of us! fighting ~
I'm glad that Kpop is bringing you back to us! It sounds like you have a ton of pressure on you and I hope that Kpop can be enough of an outlet for you to escape it. I'm glad you found us too! Any time you need to talk my inbox is always open!
Thanks for the song recommendations. I'll make sure to listen to them some time 😊
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