a year ago
tayunnie
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#1 Rule!! Be happy!!
"Do what makes you happy!!" This is an awesome challenege made by @katiems, and I was tagged by the amazing @B1A4BTS5ever, and then another amazing vingler @kpopandkimchi. I decided that if I put this off any further I would be late and probably not even do it! But I am here! And writing this! YARGGG *WARNING* I AM PRONE TO RAMBLING AND SPONTANEOUS OUTBURSTS I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE I will try to avoid staying too long on the sad topics and focus on the positive!
To start off, this year for me has been extremely hard. School, emotions, stress etc. Summer was fine. I got to hang out with my middle school friends and

OMG GUESS WHAT I DISCOVERED


VINGLE

The above gifs are what vingle is to me I swear vingle is kpop heaven. But it's not only a place where people UNDERSTAND my kpop rants and fangirling. It's a place where people hug, and cry, and laugh together. It's a place where people can openly discuss controversial topics without persecution. And I love it all. ❤❤❤ The Vingle Kpop Community is amazing and thanks to Big Bang the community has grown HUGE. Shoutout to all them VIPS. And of course to all those B2UTIES and everyone who tolerates my long comments and my beast fangirling.
I'm going to talk about some sad topics now but if you want to avoid it (perfectly ok) scroll till you see

BIG BOLD LETTERS

Like that ^^ ☝ here's a freebie beast gif
I was busy over the summer. I was working and doing summer homework and doing test prep. In the middle of it all, I had a bout of depression. During that time and after it, I was so scared. But due to this experience, I changed? I definitely grew much more thankful for the people around me. The people who deal with my quirks, spontaneity and especially my silent times. But I really want to touch base on something recent. The passing of Daniel Kyre.
Daniel Kyre. Youtuber, Musician, Crazy. To be honest, I wasn't all about that Cyndago life. I enjoyed their work but it was a bit too inappropriate for me to be comfortable with but they are hilarious. Dan reminded me of myself. He was the quiet one of Cyndago and the one who worked the most behind the scenes. On Monday, I had found out that he had attempted suicide and eventually passed away due to brain damage. Monday and Tuesday were extremely hard days for me this week. I was also sick, which did not help me at all. I don't know exactly how to express what I feel about Daniel's death. I regret not knowing him more, not reaching out to him but I regret more the fact that I once felt like that, especially now that I can see how his passing affected his friends (ex. Markiplier who posted a video on his youtube channel) and only to imagine how his family feels. A lot of this is regret just piling up. I wish I could be better, I wish I wasn't so sad sometimes, I wish I was smarter, I wish I was a better athlete, I wish I could play an instrument, I wish I was more outgoing. I wish I could just tell my parents how much I love them.

And so, that brings me to RULE #1


DO WHAT YOU LOVE AND DONT REGRET IT (it's hard I know

) even if it's putting stuff on your face to make it look like you're crying or jamming it out solo. DO IT. Everyone my age (almost everyone and many people older than me) are deciding their career choices/what to do with their life. In a world where there is no "freedom" due to economic limitations, the best course shown is to choose quickly, and follow it forever. In this modern age there's a want to not follow traditional careers (ex. lawyer, doctor, accountant etc.) but to actually follow your dreams.

But what is our dream? And will we be able to live off of it?

The "unconventional dreams" are dreams of jobs where you don't have much economic stability. It'll be very hard and you'll love it, but you'll wish you lived a better life. We hear many success stories of people pursuing their dreams and making their name on the world's grand stage. But, of course these people are the very few minority, and many of them have the financial ability to fail and change their path unlike the vast majority of working class and poor people. (woah I'm getting technical)

My point is,


Happiness is hard to find. But you'll find it. It'll come through a ton of hardships, self-doubt, and regrets.

But believe in it. And you'll get there.
Sorry for the cliche rants and the flow that jumps around everywhere ackkk

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!!!

❤❤ And I wish all of you best of luck in everything and hugs for everyone!!!
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WAIT I WAS SO TAKEN OVER BY EMOTION THAT I FORGOT TO COMMENT. YOU ARE SO PERFECT AND GREAT AND I LOVE YOU.
yeah when I read that Daniel passed I couldnt talk to anyone. it was crushing. No one saw it coming and a couple day later my friend sent me a screen cap of one of his tweets it said like aspiration disappear something like that I don't quite remember. To this day I still cry when I think about it. I also do regret not knowing him or complimenting his work. I know how you feel, I go through depression myself. You just have to keep your head up, *hugs*
@Kriptix Daniel shall live on in our hearts #rip but yea I had a really hard time for a while afyer hearing that it was a moment where I really realized how much suicide can affect other people but yep!! we gotta keep our head up and see the Sun shining on the trees rather than the shadows on the group