deactivated1447338732Dlittlejulia
2 years ago1,000+ Views
What a beautiful life!?
Yesterday night, I went to the bar which is well-known for Mexican snack with my frined. Though we met for a longtime, the conversation was overly philosophical. Mia is one of my old friend from middle school. In those days, we didn't know much the world but young and innocent. However, in present, She has last interview for the diplomatic and consular services and I am a senior without any specificity. Mia and me, we are quite diffrent person. but we keep in touch and It will be forever (I hope)   In any event, we tossed down several glasses of beer. Smoke and Drink Chat and Laugh Laugh and Chat Drink and Smoke The main topic of that night was surely about a our shining future. Little girls were gonna early twenties. There was no palace, nor prince neither. We are floundering in the deep reality. Who am I? and What is right position for me. What I did for the last 24 years? What should I do for next step? Everythings were full of fucking hell!!!!!  Just looking around, every single person seemed to be getting well very well except me. I was perfectly lost on unfamiliar adult life. What was worse was that I was back to single. We already knew do not lean against somone and look to other for help. But, we still didn't know what is life. What is real.  I didn't want to blame on others on some pretext. Just wanna stay normal and wait exact times for me. I was sure that this kinds of confutions are not simply fixed even I was totally drunk. 
We came back my house in drink and slurring our words and then, we watched Bridget Jones's Diary untill 4 A.M. With the mask, the girls giggled at every stupid events in that movie. It was just a moment but, we could forget somethings. What I can say confidently is we are still wating fo Mr. Darcy in complicated 21C. Hey come on Colin! come Hugh Grant you toooo!
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@JasonHeins Thank you first for your good advice. By the way do you really think so? When I was young, I was full of confidence and very brave. But now, I'm afraid of my uncoming times. Faint and uncertain. I am always trying to be positive and belive myself, actually it's hard. I don't know what makes me so weak...
2 years ago·Reply
@nicolejb lovely❤❤ I knew the one! Summer is just summer haha we have a similar taste on movies especially romantic series
2 years ago·Reply
It is temporary!!!
2 years ago·Reply
@Julitta1207 Ah naivety, yes, I too was certain that I knew it all in youth. It is that wonderful time in life where you have the logical construct of what you believe you want and your path can be seen on a standard life map. This false knowledge and confidence is a reassured feeling if not an often ignorant one. At least it was in my case. Moving forward seemed easy if not misguided and accomplishments easy to list during a mostly blind progression through life. Do I think maturity is better? Well I don't have answer for my comings and goings. I can have a drink or a smoke if I wish without worrying about a lecture. I can stay up late if I wish, and I can go anywhere my time off and money will allow as I do as I wish when there. I can leave a dish out, or forget my shoes at the door, and no one gets upset. These were some of the things I was certain at one time would make me happy. Love was all about meeting that person who would sweep me off my feet and be and do everything I wanted of them. Now, the consequences for my choices have changed, but they are now my choices to make without council. There, I have gained. Now my path is much harder to navigate than I thought it would be, but the achievement of one goal can be all the richer if I allow myself to enjoy it without someone giving me a ribbon or certificate. My ideal person has gone from a librarian who doubles as a wanton sex goddess to one who can teach me things and rock my world, but also a person who challenges me and makes me enjoy having a friend who knows things about me that I don't acknowledge and yet comes back for more torture the poor thing whoever she was and hopefully will be. I guess I just mean that for me the idea of wanting what you have is trying to see beyond all the crap to the things that are wonderful without deluding yourself. The benefit of doing anything you want in life, and I would imagine the adoration of any man in your case is that the choices can be overwhelming. The nice thing is that as we meet people and do things we learn more about our boundaries and needs. Just remember that there is always an opportunity cost. A model may please my eyes, but will probably not value me as her options are so great. Look around and define within. Once you choose to do what you genuinely like you can share the joy it brings you with others, and everyone wants to learn to love and accept themselves for all the wonderfully weird things that makes them who they are. Thanks for letting me go on and on.
2 years ago·Reply
@JasonHeins That's what I need to take. Seriously it's valuable! Yes. In retrospect, I am logging for adult life without enjoying the moment! I have to handle my life. Everything single minutes depend on me, my mind, my thoughts and it might build egos. Following your comment, I can figure out that youth is beautiful and brilliant as itself.
2 years ago·Reply
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