3 years ago5,000+ Views
Have any of yall felt like this when u really begin to just think about stuff? I'm not trying to throw shade. But honestly...what is this world coming too? It's like so many men (not all but a lot) are making these thots into house wives. The first girl to get married in our group of friends was a huge hoe (sorry for being blunt). When we were in college she was dating this guy (who is now her husband) during our girls' night out we asked her how did she get a boyfriend. We all wanted one and thought she could give us some advice. FYI I will never forget what this girl said...

So she said......

"Girls yall gotta suck that d**k the first date. And bust dat open ASAP!The sooner the better!

We were all smh. But now that I'm getting older idk maybe she had a point... As the years went one many of us begin lowering our standards and do bascually what everyone else is doing. So....2 more of us is married and they said basically they followed that ratchet advice our friend gave us in college. They wanted to get married really bad. I want to get married to but...Idk about doing that ratchet stuff. Now there is two left not married and that two is including me. We both highly believe in waiting. After my recent breakup with my boyfriend I'm thinking about that night when we were given that advice from our friend. We were not together long, but all he wanted to do was get the cookies. I had to let him go.

Is there any truth to it?

Most of my friends that are engaged and married said they had sex or did something sexual within the first week of dating or the first 2 months. Call me old fashion, but that crazy as heck! Even my guy amigos said that their wife or fiancé gave it up soon..... I'm not saying giving the goods before marriage is wrong. I personally would like to wait until there is some type of relationship. Now a days in my experience men just want to send d**k pics, demand nude pics, get right to getting into the cookie jar before even knowing what my favorite color is.


I'm so confused! I'm don't wanna turn into a bitter woman lol.

Have anyone experienced this or have some advice? Please comment!

And I really should add, lol, this is coming from a girl who... let's be honest... is a little bit of a "hoe." Haha. I don't think sex should be the way you find a husband or boyfriend – like, it's not a strategy for me. Relationships are all about compatibility - not in the cheesy way or anything haha. More like, finding someone whose values, future plans, dreams, hopes, ethics, and personality go well with your own. Sex is like the sprinkles on the ice cream cone of relationships lol. Sure, it's nice, but it's not necessary to having a completely enjoyable dessert!! And actually, for me, casual sex is one of the ways I keep my standards in relationships high, believe it or not. I know that I'm a very physical person who needs sex and physical intimacy to be happy, but I don't want to date someone unless he's really, really friggin special and awesome. Aint nobody got time for d-bags (I've already dated too many of those). So in the meantime, I have casual hookup relationships with people. My needs are fulfilled, so it's easier to wait for the right guy to come along to date. I mean, I actually respect you SO much, because I wanted to wait until marriage once upon a time, but it didn't go down that way. And I'm okay with that. But I know it's the easier road to cave in to what society asks of us. You're taking the harder road – but you should be proud of that, and never give in to what other people think is right. Follow your own path :)
I'm a little late to the game here, but first I wanna say @amobigbang and @VeronicaArtino thanks for the tag!!! I'd love to see more of these kinds of cards here, where we can all talk about our relationship and life questions and give each other support and advice :) It's true that in this day and age it's harder and harder to find someone who wants to wait for marriage to have sex. The values of our society have shifted in the past few decades to become less conservative, and now sexual intimacy is often viewed as a normal part of a dating relationship. But it doesn't have to be! Like @MissB82 said so wisely, you gotta do what YOU feel comfortable with. You're the most important person here. Yes, a lot of people might question your decision because to them, sex is a normal thing people do. But just because they can't see where you're coming from doesn't mean you're making a bad decision! If it's a good decision for you, it's a good decision. Period. I think that if you want to find a good man who will wait until marriage to have sex, you can totally find that. You just gotta know where to look. It's going to be hard – but don't let that waver your resolve. I don't know if you're religious, but I went to church a ton as a kid and found that a few of the guys there were like that – genuinely good, amazing people who felt a strong conviction to save sexual intimacy for marriage. That kind of guy isn't dead – I'd say head to your local religious organization (of whatever religion or denomination you choose! :) ) and see the prospects there. Don't give up on your beliefs!! You rock girl!!
Omg. Yes.. You are not alone. There is noting more of a turn off than when a guy sends me a bare crotch shot or ask for nudes. I even got stood up because I told the guy that I was old fashioned and he had a completely different idea of a date than I did
@amobigbang (and if a guy says any differently, you kick him to the curb girl)
@amobigbang I think a quality man will spend time earning whatever YOU are willing to give. If you aren't ready, don't compromise on that. I have to wonder how long those women (who slept around just in search for a husband) will Stay married. What happens when there is no foundation down the road? Eventually, that sexual relationship can change - health, children, etc. - and there could be nothing left. I think it's very important to build your relationship on the foundation of friendship and mutual respect. Don't compromise your worth for the sake of a change in status. The right guy is out there and you Will find him.
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