2 years ago
paulisadroid
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How to Be Attractive: According to Johnny Depp
Oh, Johnny Depp, we all love sex with girls (unless we don't, which is fine, and I'm sure if this wasn't a gif you'd continue that sentiment with like "and it's cool to love sex with anyone else, too" or something). Anyway, for some of us that love the sex with the girls we wonder "how can I be more attractive than I already am?"
Don't wonder any longer! As the Prince of Vingle Hipsters and the 12th Place Ribbon Receiver in The Suburban New York Johnny Depp Look Alike Contest, I think I could give some advice on how to be more like ol' JD over here.

Find Joy in the Little Things

Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow is probably one of his more popular roles that could teach us a lot about our lives and how to experience it. Look at him run with that jar of dirt. So happy, such pleasure, right? And I think you could take Depp's Jar of Dirt and apply it to all the little things you sometimes ignore.

Stay Curious

There's something extremely attractive about people who are always curious. And not in the "killed-the-cat" kind of way. But always looking to know/meet/learn something/someone new. Curious people go out and do things, curious people explore and find adventures to embark on, curious people are the real unusual folk and it's the weirdos and the wild ones that are the most fun to be around. So be weird, be wild, be curious.

Know What You Like

Knowing what you like (and ostensibly knowing what you want) is very important. Imagine you're about to go on a date or something, right? And they ask you where you want to eat/drink/whatever and instead of giving a definite answer, you kind of just mumble to yourself. They're never going to want to be around you again. So know what you like and be vocal about it.

Focus on the Future

This can be taken a lot of different ways but in terms of being an attractive ladydude, you've got to remember not to talk or even think about your past. I know, you've been hurt (we all have) but this next step, this next adventure isn't going to hurt you. It can be the best time of your life or it can be history repeating itself. It's all on you kid. You and your potential mate both want to move forward so let them know casually that progress is the only thing you're looking for... or something.
And there you have it, Vingle Babies. There it is. You don't necessarily have to be these things but you know, slick that hair back and put an e-cigarette in your mouth and you'll be as close to Johnny Depp as you possibly can be.
I'm finding it weirder and weirder that we kind of compare our likenesses to Movie/TV Actors as a level to how attractive we are/aren't. I mean, don't we all get our haircuts based on something we've seen on television or in the movies? It's kind of weird to think that our standards of beauty are based off the way someone looks.
Kinda gross, isn't it? Anyway, if you feel like you wanna be like Johnny Depp, do your thing. But if you don't, well you could always try being yourself.
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you know, is this really a list about how Johnny Depp would have us be attractive, or how his various characters would? I think the real Depp would just suggest we accessorize. constantly.
Young Johnny Depp is beautiful and perfect. I like what you said about him wanting to know/meet/learn something/someone new. I’m sure he would be curious to meet me right? ;)
i luv this man.. i follow his best quote.. "if you have fallen in love with two people. choose the second one, because if you really loved the first you wouldn't have fallen for the second" i live of that quote