2 years ago
AlloBaber
in English · 7,314 Views
likes 12clips 1comments 27
{Q} I Need Help... Choosing Between Job & Relationship
Hey everybody! So... oftentimes, I'm the one giving other people love and life advice. I really enjoy helping others talk out their problems, and being there to support and encourage them. But strangely enough, that doesn't always help with my own problems. Maybe it's just one of those things, where it's hard to take your own advice. But I've had a problem on my mind that's been weighing on me a lot, and I wanted to hear your guys' perspectives on it. Maybe you'll have some wisdom that will help :)
Not so long ago, I met a guy. We shared an instant connection and had so much fun the first night we met, running around this bar and taking pictures with strangers and just being silly. From there we wanted to get to know each other, so we had dinner a few times, hung out alone and in groups, and just spend a lot of time together. The more time we spent together, the more time we wanted to spend. Our dinners would last like four hours because we just had so much to say to each other, so many things we wanted to talk about. I was with him when he caught his first firefly, and when his brother called and asked him to be the best man in his wedding; we've shared a magical picnic under the stars, and walked around Central Park for hours just chatting and laughing.
We get along so, so well, and have so many similarities it's weird. Seriously, it's WEIRD how great we are together. I've never had this with anyone else (even though I've dated plenty of people in my day). We're so similar, yet different enough to keep each other on our toes. We have similar drives and desires in life. We have similar philosophies. Basically, every single thing you can think of is perfect (or as close to it as you can get).
But he had just broken up with his girlfriend, so nothing happened between us. And then, a month into our amazing friendship, he had to move away to start his PhD program. I was really sad, but I thought hey, it's not so far. Maybe we could make it work, despite the distance.
THEN. Then my job, which I love, offered me the chance to move across the country. I'm really happy where I am, but I also know I need to pursue my future and think about my career. And yet, I can't picture my future without him in it. If I'm certain of anything, it's that I need to explore this amazing relationship-to-be and all its possibilities. I think he really could be "the One," or one of them, or whatever. A Person. He could be A Person in my life. Does that make sense?
So basically my question I guess is: what should I do? Do I move away, and hope he'll agree to try to make things work long-distance? Or if I'm this certain that this is something special, should I make a sacrifice in order to truly see what it's like to be together? I don't want to leave the east coast... all my friends and family are here. And him. But at the same time, going to the west coast for work is an amazing opportunity.
Sigh... I'm so lost.
Sorry if this card was really really long haha. I hope you guys have some thoughts to share :) thanks for reading <3 you're all the best!!
AlloBaber clipped in 1 collections
27 comments
View more comments
Everything@VinMcCarthy @ButterflyBlu @InPlainSight said. And only one to add. If he just got out of a relationship, it may be too soon for him even though if feels like the right time for you. :-)
Well I came across your card and I love giving advice I give good advice I have your same problem I can't take my own advice but I give others good advice how weird right but anyway my advice is that opportunities like these don't come a lot if they offered you too travel it's cuz your good at what you do and you should take advantage of the opportunity and it will be a new experience. I don't recommend long distance relationships they don't always work out I kW that you both love each other by the way you made it sound in your writing but even if you have the love and trust it's still going to be hard your both going to wonder what your doing how you are did you eat did you sleep are you ok are you sick you kW things like that you whiny always have times to talk for along period of time cuz of work or time zone also you need to have affection you need to hug each other kiss be there physically it will be hard but you guys can skype it might be best if he loves you as much as you do he would want you to go and do what you love to do he will understand you leaving is just a test in your relationship you must overcome something this big in order to see if he really is the one
@allischaaff The relationship can advance/exist from long distance, this job can't (presumably). Also, always remember the burrito is bae
well its is ur career. I'm the same way my boyfriend is thinking about moving in together but I told him I need to focus on my career. so I say that just talk to him if he is willing to work out the long distance relationship even though a lot of ppl say it never works out he should understand. plus like this is a once and a life time opportunity for your future. that's just my opinion but if he understand that your career first then he is bound to support you all the way and would want to have a relationship with you. best of luck girl @allishchaaff
You only live once @Allischaaff. I am no pro in love or advice, but you should go to the West Coast and see what develops. PhD. means $$$$, which never hurt!. Add some love and its perfection. Do all this in California and it's bliss! (im just assuming he's in California, but who knows?) Jobs will come and go. Love doesn't. Go for it!!!!