Ever have a family reunion? And all your crazy family members are there, and there’s a lot of talk, and a lot of drama. Well, essentially that’s what is happen this week in NYC. Except it’s a political meeting called the UN's 70th General Assembly.
They are talking about some pretty serious issues: The Refugee Crisis, how to handle ISIS, and even Climate Change.
Here’s who is invited.
President Barack Obama - The Mom
He’s the reason you are all here. He made you buy those plane tickets to get there, and keeps sending you “I’m so excited to see you XOXOX” text messages.
But don’t let that fool you. Mom gets real when someone spills grape juice all over the carpet or the discussion turns to something inappropriate. “No I do not want to talk about the Nuclear Deal! We already discussed this!"
China’s Xi Jinping - The Smart Brother
He’s the brother that everyone is jealous of. He does something either in finacnce (foreign trade) or maybe it’s computer science (cyber crime), but whatever he does he’s really smart and has a lot of power.
Because of the money thing and the power thing, he gets a lot of attention and no one really disagrees with them. He says really flattering things like, "If China and the US cooperate well, they can become a bedrock of global stability,” but you wonder if he is just sucking up and there’s some other motive there. You are never too sure.
Russia’s Vladimir Putin - The Grumpy Uncle
This is the first time he has shown up to one of these in a decade, but he will make sure you don’t forget him. He’ll grunt at whatever anyone says, and drink WAY too much vodka.
He’ll also say some questionable things that you might let slide but then take him aside and be like: “Dude you can’t just treat people that.” But he’ll continue to mumble under his breath and do what he wants.
Iran’s Hassan Rouhani & Israel’s PM Netanyahu - The Fighting Aunts
These two don’t get along. They had a fight a LONG time ago and you aren’t really sure what happened (it’s just a lot, ya know?). But whenever they get together they don’t really make eye contact or even talk.
Anyway, best to avoid being in a room with both of these people.
Cuba’s Raul Castro - The Rebel Cousin
This cousin was kind of a rebel growing up. He did some bad stuff, got way too many tattoos, ran away from home, and made his parents worry so much that eventually he was uninvited to all family events.
But now he’s back and there is a lot of catching up to do. He still hasn’t gotten over it, but he still needs money from his parents so he’s dealing with it. (cough cough Cuban/American trading)
Well, that’s the who’s all invited to the little family gathering. And just like any family gathering, there’s bound to be lots of stories that come out of this event. And a lot of weirdness.