It is serendipitous that there was a webcomic that existed called Pictures for Sad Children that included a ghost who had a name that matched mine (Paul). The webcomic is not why I have changed my username, although, it is a part of the reason.
[NOTE: The art below belongs to John Campbell. The art above belongs to a person that uses DeviantArt, so maybe an actual deviant. Who knows?]
The above is the abridged version of why I am a ghost now. The actual truth is a boring story. Who wants to know about the oath I made to the Sacred Ones and the Dark Ritual and the horrifying sacrifice I performed in order to take the shape of a ghost who can still type? No one, that's who.
Do not get me wrong. I am still the same me, I am still Paul, just ghostly. I can "walk" through walls, which is nice. And I don't need to use an elevator anymore. Or planes. I can travel anywhere.
But when you can travel anywhere, instantly, it gets kind of boring. The fun of traveling is the actual travel part. I think anyway. So enjoy those 18 hour flights while you can because the afterlife is more life just infinite and it becomes extremely clear in a matter of ghost-seconds that doing everything you ever wanted happens instantly and that kind of sucks.
Especially if you wanted to travel to a certain number of countries in a particular amount of time. I've seen them all in one ghost-hour (equivalent to twelve human years [equivalent to eighty-four dog years])
Sometimes. I like to haunt people. That takes up a bit of my time. No one ever really wants to talk to a ghost. Let alone know how they became a ghost. Everyone assumes it was death. For me, it was not (see above: Sacred Ones, Dark Ritual, Sacrifice, etc.). But why would any human want to listen to a ghost. I am still trying to figure this one out. In the mean time. I will haunt you at work.
I used to spend most of my time at work. But after I became a ghost, I lost my job -- people do not want to have a cold breeze taking up a cubicle -- and I can not get it back. This is okay though because I have had a lot of time to think about what I would rather be doing.
The real reason I am writing this card is because I realize now that a very lucrative job opportunity has befallen me. Since I have an infinite amount of ghost-hours in front of me, I realize that running for office will be a better way to spend my afterlife.
I think it is important that I level with you. There is nothing more important to a future politician than trust. I think my election would set a precedent for the United States of America/The Earth. Being the first ghostly apparition elected to office will help all of us (by us I mean ghosts of course, and maybe you too, I do not care). It is a necessary step that needs to be taken in order to reach our dream of ghost-equality. Some people seem to think ghosts do not exist. This is some kind of -ist but I am not sure what the exact term is. This is also very new for me.
It's not what you can do for your ghosts, it's what we can do for you!
(Probably, I don't know. We like to take our time and we'll take suggestions but no promises.)