2 years ago
paulisadroid
in English · 4,053 Views
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How to Be Attractive: Brad Pitt
I don't know how old Brad Pitt is but at the same time does it even matter? He's got a good face, a funny smile, and did I mention his face is pretty good? But that's not why you're here. Of course it isn't, you're here for my Pulitzer Prize winning writing style [I have never won any awards].
But listen here friend, Brad Pitt is just the next movie actor that'll teach us young insecure idiots how to be attractive or how to be ourselves or something or whatever. Let's do this thing.

He likes Dags (dogs)

Listen her, if a guy doesn't have some sort of love or connection with a dog then they're probably some kind of demon being. Dogs are so good, you guys. And people who love dogs are even better. So, if you don't like dogs you better start, they were put here on Earth to make everything cuter and to make you seem like a person who cares.

He Knows Another Language

Okay so maybe he barely knows Italian. But if you can get by in a conversation any potential suitor will be like, "Damn, honey, you smart" and then you'll just mumble off a string random words in a foreign tongue until you have a foreign tongue in your mouth. Trust me. This works [it doesn't].

Dance Moves!

I don't know if I need to say anything about this. It's all about the grooves man. Dancing and prancing, moving and grooving, posting and toasting, whatever you want to call it. This is important.

He'll Push You to Be Better

There's nothing like coming home after a long day of work and feeling defeated/stressed and having someone to talk to. It's important that you can be this for someone else as well as let someone else be this for you. Sometimes these conversations will become intense and seemingly hostile. But open your heart, open your mind, and open your fucking mouth to make your potential partner better.

He Understands Society

That's probably one of the truest things ever said. America, yeah, you're a country sort of. But you're also built upon these ideas that are, well, fucked up. If you're not thinking about making things better/more efficient, you're not doing your job. If you don't believe your sole purpose in life is to make money, you're doing it wrong. But you can also use this understanding of the system in order to get you and your partner ahead. It isn't about a person's feelings, no, it's about doing what's good for you and yours. He understands this.
Yes, Brad Pitt is a handsome, older gentlemen that's been in movies and television programs but he's more than that. In the same way that we are all more than what we look like. Is anyone getting this by now?
Sure, I'm pasting up gifs of handsome actors to prey upon some sort of need that one might have to look at an attractive thing. But maybe, if you shift your perception of what is happening, I, too, understand society the way that Brad Pitt does.
Am I really trying to help you "be more attractive" or am I trying to grab at your mouse clicks and likes? Who really knows at this point?
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glad to hear it! i’m sure it would be better with a little brad pitt ;) @bunnymafia he has his ways...
2 years ago·Reply
10
@bunnymafia @nicolejb brad pitt makes everything better haha
2 years ago·Reply
20
@paulisaghost 'Tis correct my friend! ^^
2 years ago·Reply
10
Brad Pitt takes away the pit in my stomach @bunnymafia wait did that even work? lol.
2 years ago·Reply
10
@nicolejb Hahahahaha! I'll say yes just because it made me laugh
2 years ago·Reply