You know, I really wanted to write a How to Be Attractive card about Bill Murray (with a gif like the one above how could I resist?) but then it became clear to me that he's much more than just "attractive". He's much more than anything any of us will ever be.
And I know there are people who don't like him (I'm talking to you Jim, so what if his kid was mean to you that one time, who cares?). And I also know that they are wrong. Here are some reasons why.
Check out the gif above. It takes a very particular, a very certain, and a very humble kind of person to admit that they are a god. Bill Murray knows his limits, he knows who he is, and that is a deity. A demi-god. Every time he graces the screen, we are graced with his presence.
He Knows About Animal Stuff
A Crayon Ponyfish? I don't even know if that's a real thing but I will trust that it is. You want to know why I will? Because it's Bill-fucking-Murray saying it. He's a confident man. A man that will say, "Hey pal/friend/buddy, this is a Gibbler Laffydoodle" and hold up something you've never seen before with the cutest face and the most vibrant of colors.
He's a Scientist
Not only is he Bill-fucking-Murray, he's a goddamned scientist. What does this matter, you ask? A whole lot. That means he knows things. Science things. With this in mind, yo ucan probably imagine how interesting his stories are. I bet he knows a lot about science. Maybe there was one time he befriended a ghost (even though he busted them at one point I still see him as a friend to ghostly folk like myself).
He Can See Through Your Bullshit
Let's say you are having that conversation with him, right? And you say something he doesn't quite get/understand. You want to know why he doesn't? It's because at this point in the conversation you're so jealous of how awesome and amazing he is that you start making shit up. And Bill Murray has no tolerance for people that make shit up. So keep it tight, ya dummy.
He's Well Adjusted
He's hardly upset about anything. Like I said earlier, he knows who he is. And with that, he becomes a little more adjusted to the facts of life. Maybe you wonder if everything you're doing is worth it, maybe you think that you could be doing something different, or actually making a difference, it's okay, this is normal. But the more you age, the wiser you become. And one of the wisest things is letting things upset you. Bill Murray understands this. He lives by it.
And there you have it. These are only a few reasons why Bill Murray is awesome. He's a funny, clever man and we could all learn a lot from him. You know, even though I'm stuck somewhere in my mid-twenties, I still dream of growing up; becoming an adult.
And that pedestal I'm trying to rest myself at, that adult I continue to look up to is Bill. Fucking. Murray.