Cards you may also be interested in
The Person You Really Need to Marry
Tracy McMillan has written for a ton of the top TV shows and is most interested in human relationships. In her TED Talk (viewed more than 3 million times) she touches on how we find the person we REALLY need to marry. She starts off by telling us about how she thought of love when she was a child, citing the popular nursery rhyme. *k-i-s-s-i-n-g* But her life totally didn't end up like that. She's been married and divorced three times, and she says its because she consistently married the wrong guy for her. She says her husbands were awesome guys, but they just weren't the people she should be marrying. She brings up her philosophy of "marrying yourself." Here's what she means. In marrying yourself, you need to commit fully to yourself, Focus on you, and understanding you. Once you realize that you're whole and can stand all by yourself you'll see that you don't need any man or woman to complete you. She believes that so many marriages fail because the partners believe that they are lacking, and they're looking for someone to fill that gap. She goes deep into her love life (which is wild!) to show how she had to overcome all of the mistakes she made to get to where she is now. One thing she found from this practice that hit me pretty hard was that once loving herself, and she went on a few dates... She found that instead of wondering if the man liked HER, she was focusing on how SHE felt in his presence. She's listening to herself and her needs, not trying to prove anything to anybody. "I'm more interested in how I feel about me, than how he feels about me." What do you think about this philosophy? Would it work for you?
How Long is Too Long To Date?
A former coworker of mine just got engaged after living with and dating her now-fiance for SIX YEARS. While I think that's practically a common-law marriage, some people think that dating that long is necessary to make sure you're ready to commit to a life together. But here's the thing: Only you can know when you're ready to take the next step. But as a baseline, Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT, licensed psychotherapist, couple's therapist and author of She Comes First, suggests that one to two years is often a good amount of time to date before getting engaged. Longer than that and you might just never get married or take your relationship more seriously and after ten or so years your relationship starts to break and you don't feel obligated to fix it. ONE TO TWO YEARS?! That sound like no time at all for me! But wait, its not necessarily about time! "I've worked with a lot of couples who have strong relationships, and they met and fell in love quickly and really got to know each other's friends and family," Kerner says. "They got to experience what it's like to live with each other or spend a lot of time with each other, go through some life cycle issues, like the loss of a family member or the loss of a friendship, or going to a wedding or funeral and really getting to see each other in a lot of different contexts and feel like it's a good match. And generally, that can happen in a year... You want to have some problems emerge and see how you deal with problems together. For me, it's more about the range of experiences that lend themselves to compatibility rather than the amount of time." My parents dated about 3.5 years (I think???) before getting engaged, then waited about 4 years after marriage to have me! But then again, they only saw each other on weekends because my mom lived in New Jersey and my dad lived in California so I guess at the end of the day they were physically together for about a year and a half haha! For me, I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year but no WAY am I thinking about marriage so I don't think the 1-2 year rule applies to me. Do you think there is a cut-off point for dating, when you should tie the knot?
32 Things You Didn't Know About Weddings
I'm not big into fancy weddings, but I LOVE learning about traditions in other parts of the world. Check out these 32 facts and traditions! Good Luck and Bad Luck 1. Wear a sugar cube tucked in your gown...according to Greek and Persian culture, the sugar will sweeten your marriage. 2. In English tradition, Wednesday is considered the "best day" to marry, although Monday is for wealth and Tuesday is for health. 3. Saturday is the unluckiest wedding day, according to English folklore. Funny -- it's the most popular day of the week to marry! 4. Rain on your wedding day is actually considered good luck, according to Hindu tradition! 5. For good luck, Egyptian women pinch the bride on her wedding day. Ouch! 6. Middle Eastern brides paint henna on their hands and feet to protect themselves from evil. 7. Peas are thrown at Czech newlyweds instead of rice. 8. A Finnish bride traditionally went door-to-door collecting gifts in a pillowcase, accompanied by an older married man who represented long marriage. 9. Moroccan women take a milk bath to purify themselves before their wedding ceremony. 10. In Holland, a pine tree is planted outside the newlyweds' home as a symbol of fertility and luck. It's Got a Ring To It 11. Engagement and wedding rings are worn on the fourth finger of the left hand because it was once thought that a vein in that finger led directly to the heart. 12. In the symbolic language of jewels, a sapphire in a wedding ring means marital happiness. 13. A pearl engagement ring is said to be bad luck because its shape echoes that of a tear. 14. One of history's earliest engagement rings was given to Princess Mary, daughter of Henry VIII. She was two years old at the time. 15. Snake rings dotted with ruby eyes were popular wedding bands in Victorian England...the coils winding into a circle symbolized eternity. Fashionable Lore 16. Queen Victoria started the Western world's white wedding dress trend in 1840...before then, brides simply wore their best dress. 17. In Asia, wearing robes with embroidered cranes symbolizes fidelity for the length of a marriage. 18. Ancient Greeks and Romans thought the veil protected the bride from evil spirits. Brides have worn veils ever since. 19. In Japan, white was always the color of choice for bridal ensembles...long before Queen Victoria popularized it in the Western world. 20. In Korea, brides don bright hues of red and yellow to take their vows. 21. Brides carry or wear "something old" on their wedding day to symbolize continuity with the past. 22. In Denmark, brides and grooms traditionally cross-dressed to confuse evil spirits! 23. The "something blue" in a bridal ensemble symbolizes purity, fidelity, and love. Food and Family 24. In Egypt, the bride's family traditionally does all the cooking for a week after the wedding, so the couple can relax. 25. In South Africa, the parents of both bride and groom traditionally carried fire from their hearths to light a new fire in the newlyweds' hearth. 26. The tradition of a wedding cake comes from ancient Rome, where revelers broke a loaf of bread over a bride's head for fertility's sake. 27. An old wives' tale: If the younger of two sisters marries first, the older sister must dance barefoot at the wedding or risk never landing a husband. Show Off at a Cocktail Party 28. In many cultures around the world, including Celtic, Hindu and Egyptian weddings, the hands of a bride and groom are literally tied together to demonstrate the couple's commitment to each other and their new bond as a married couple (giving us the popular phrase "tying the knot"). 29. The bride stands to the groom's left during a Christian ceremony, because in bygone days the groom needed his right hand free to fight off other suitors. 30. On average, 7,000 couples marry each day in the United States. 31. Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve are the two busiest "marriage" days in Las Vegas...elopement central! 32. Bachelor parties were first held by ancient Spartan soldiers, who kissed their bachelor days goodbye with a raucous party. Do you have any interesting wedding traditions in your family?