LizArnone
2 years ago5,000+ Views
Don't Sweat The Small Stuff; Get Drunk Instead
Sometimes life just tries to fuck with you. News flash, thats what makes life so interesting. So instead of getting worked up over something so small, or big, or anything at all really, you should probably grab a drink instead.

Because why waste your time being worried or upset when alcohol can so easily end all immediate issues?

So you just got dumped, or you lost a playoff game, or you totally bombed a test. That right there is prime time to numb all those wounds. Black out for a bit until the feelings aren't clouding your judgement anymore.
Blacked out=stress free.
Family holidays..... FUNNNNNNN. Except when they all can't stop asking you about your relationship status, your job status, or your life as an adult status. Some specially made for you punch will loosen you right up and also stop you from caring about what smelly Uncle Bert thinks.
When those same family members ask what you're even good at, shot gun a beer and be proud. Because nothing is more embarrassing then being that person laying in their own vomit on the street corner alone. Drinking is a talent to brag about.
Friends fighting? Avoid that shit like the plague. No one will ask you your opinion if you can't even say their name anymore. CONFLICT AVOIDED.
Stressed about showing up solo to a party? Hahaha not anymore! Grab some liquid courage and you'll be smooth sailing.
Wedding got cancelled. You could cry forever and think about dying alone.....or you can grab your friends and make use of the open bar! Because fuck it, tequila takes away your right to worry about anything and again a nice black out will help dull the initial feelings of anger, upset, miserable...etc.
Your response when anyone talks about being on a diet or losing weight. Fuck that, your body is a temple and your holy water makes everybody think their an awesome dancer. Be proud of your body and never ever worry about being someone else's perfect size.
No truer words have ever been spoken.

I'd like to raise a glass to alcohol...because worrying makes you old and you'll keep me young forever.

3 comments
all I have are fantasies.I go into the supermarkets and stores,find the alcohol isle and stare...
2 years ago·Reply
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I just got heavily distracted because I had no idea Kirsten Dunst, Isla Fisher, and Lizzy Caplan played friends in a movie before. I MUST WATCH THIS.
2 years ago·Reply
10
@lizarnone sounds depressing and foolish
2 years ago·Reply
14
3
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