a year ago
quietone
in English · 3,112 Views
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My escape
In honor of poetry I decided to really let loose
Why did you ignore me as a kid?
like I was nothing more than your shadow
trying desperately to cling to you
I had to teach myself alot I practically raised myself
Hell I taught myself how to braid hair
What little girl cant even braid her dolls hair?
Now that Im all grown up and want to leave you wont let me
Like a pimp whose bottom bitch wants to quit the game
You wont let me leave this place alive
Youre ruthless the pure incarnation of evil on earth you will stop at nothing to hold me back
It started when I came back heart broken and alone
Slowly you used up all the savings I had
Like a vacuum cleaner during spring cleaning sucking up every dollar I had
All I could do is sit by and watch as my future got farther and farther away
Never once did you ask if I was saving up for anything
I had to tell you to your face but you still continued and you used it against me
Like a cop pushing for a confession no longer caring if it was really me or not
You use anything to make me feel bad so I wont leave home again
This is no home its more like a maximum security prison where the guards abuse the inmates
Early on you shook me down and beat my head in trying to break spirit
Too bad it only made it burn brighter than the sun when I look back to those times
Lets not forget all the names and hurtful things my own mother says to me daily
Im all grown up now and I will find a way to escape and Im smart enough not to come back
Despite your constant disinterest in me I grew into a good mad in a world of bad ones
What little boy has to teach himself how to be a man?
Apparently the one that was an accident, a misfit, a mistake, a wreck, a disaster
Like a head on collision you dont know what body part is what let alone how it happened
But the aftermath speaks for itself and I like using my voice nice and loud
Like a cat I will find my escape you cant keep me locked in this cage forever
Why? because even death doesnt like me I should know I tried to visit him 10 times
He refused every last one maybe hes afraid of someone like me
Not the monster freak of nature people see me as when I walk outside
Its the downright unfeeling asshole with balls of steel I say what I want when I want
The same guy whose heard seen and dealt with the darkest things around this life
Nothing scares me anymore I was raised in the back of a hearse talking to the corpses
I will find escape because I no longer fear the opinions or hatred of my captors
Drain my life, try to kill my spirit, take what happiness of mine you can, beat my head in, use all my money, make me feel like shit, I dare you
I will survive I have for 20 years already
Ive been called damn near every name in the book fuck I wrote the damn thing
Cut deeper than most kitchen accidents done by a klutz
"Oh no the cat got me again" if anyone sees the fresh bloodstained guaze I wear
At this point Im a better liar than the best politicians but thats only because I had to
I also had to stop and I did cold turkey
Like an addict with the best reason in the world to get clean
My name is Eli and I dont want friendship sympathy or pity
what I want is you to fear me because you will hear my name
Then youll see just how honest I can get
I have walked through the gates of hell and stayed for a vacation
Ive met the devil himself he called me a freak of nature so I clocked him in the mouth
Ive been hurt by the ones who spawned me and were supposed to love me
I will prevail
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5 comments
Wow, this is so visceral, i really like it eli. It just burns with the pain you feel. I'm glad you can write it out, hopefully that's a good release for you!