a year ago
Anonym
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Lonely Vs. Being Alone: Is There A Difference?
There's something about being alone that makes things more contemplative. You get that feeling where...you have to write down your thoughts, or communicate through art or music. It's a feeling of belonging that you can't get with people. There's value in it.

When we look back on all of our big decisions, we had to make them on our own.

When we are forced to deal with what's going on in our brains, we ultimately become better people.


But it isn't without intense struggle and pressure from all sides. Most of that stems from either loneliness or just being alone.
[Listen while you read: Sedative by Babyshambles]


Okay, what the fuck is loneliness!?


I mean, we've all felt it, but how can we even begin to describe it.

Being alone doesn't necessarily mean that you're lonely. Remember that. Sometimes we have a hard time figuring out what the difference between those two feelings is. And until a few months ago, I thought they were the same thing.

The truth is, they are very different feelings...loneliness and being alone. Two very different moods too.

You see, loneliness implies a certain type of sadness. Whether you feel unfulfilled because you don't have anyone around, or it's outside pressure to find people to spend time with, loneliness carries weight. It's like a heavy backpack you can never take off. It follows you. And it fills with more and more useless garbage each day that you're forced to carry around every day.

There's an element of martyrdom to it as well. When we sit and watch others making connections, sharing things with friends and even getting comfortable with a boyfriend or girlfriend, we feel shame. That we...are not as fully actualized as them. That we can't be as human. That we're lonely.

Loneliness makes us see ourselves as "less than", as un-lovable. It's hard. It's a negative feeling.


Loneliness can strike whether you're with people or by yourself. It is an inward feeling.

Being alone, is entirely different. It is simply a state of being.


If you aren't around other people, you are alone, not necessarily lonely. The big difference lies in the point of view. If you say "I am alone" you could simply mean that you're by yourself. And it's not a sad thing. It's just a fact.

Most of the time we figure out exactly what makes us tick when we're by ourselves. Because we have nobody influencing our decisions, nobody to hold us back from doing what we want.

That also means there is an element of danger. Because we have nobody to blame, we end up being a lot more careful...or a lot more destructive.

When we're alone we're in a free fall. It's darkness and light. It's all of the questioning that comes up when we're left with out thoughts. Being alone is a chance for discovery. It's a chance to grow stronger and more sure of yourself.

There is no burden. It's not a time of mourning. It is a time to become who you want to be.


Being alone isn't the end of the world, and neither is being lonely. It's just about how you view it. And what you can do to make it better.

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yes but i dnt think that i feel the same as you do. my situation was different. maybe its not something i should talk about with a lot of people becs i tend to be just too different. i know that even if i do love again, it wont be like that becs it was a once in a lifetime kind of love. and he killed a part of me. a part of my soul is gone.
That sounds really hard @MelissaMae :( I'm sorry about the tough breakup. He sounds like he was a real a$$... but don't give up hope just yet that a part of you is lost for good. It hurts so much for a long time, but you can recover with time. It definitely could be ptsd you're feeling, and that makes you so numb to human intimacy. I know, I've been there. But time heals, and one day I bet you'll wake up feeling a little differently :) I hope so, anyway <3 i'm here if you ever want to talk about it
so I'm alone and lonely ok this didn't really help me but at less I know the difference