DeepakAswal
2 years ago1,000+ Views
Strange incidence
Hi everyone, This incidence happened with me few months ago. I made a friend in a workplace a girl which was introvert kind of girl. We were in a same team so i got the chances to talk to her. She was really nice and less talkative. I used to try to talk to her in a workplace but she always hesitated but when it comes on online chat she was like completely different. She was so much friendly there and so talkative. May be because of her introvert nature as i told before. We used to talk with each other a lot but not face to face. It's not like that i didn't try. I tried a lot but she was different. She was a nice girl with good positive thinking with some wierdo things. She is not on any social networking site except whatsapp. She says that she doesn't like to show off her life on Internet. Yeah it was actually like that she never even showed her own display pics on whatsapp. I even asked her that you should try it once to put your own display pic. We used to share our thoughts with each others. She never got bore of me. Always answered me whenever i asked her anything.She used to use the smiley a lot in every conversation like all other girls. After few months she left the job and moved on to the another city but we were still in contact. She was refusing to go to another city. I encouraged her to go and to think about her career first. One day we were like doing a chat but her answers were like she is upset with something. You can understand about other person even by texting when you talk to them on regular basis. I didn't ask her on that day because there could be some personal problem. I thought the problem would be solved ownself. But this whole thing kept on happening for a week so i decided to ask her if something is wrong. She replied no i am ok. Then i noticed that she has started putting her pictures on display pic on regular basis. I praised her for that. but again she was replying not in a positive manner. So i again asked her if there is something wrong you can share with me or did i do something wrong? I seriously don't know what happened after that she didn't answer me. I thought she is so much upset so i decided to talk to her after a week so that she would be calm down. I just sent a hi to her after a week, she didn't reply. I again asked her what happened, but there was not a single response though she was reading my whole messages. I tried to call her but she never picked up my phone. I was seriously not able to understand that what the hell i did? I mean i was asking her about the problem. Is it wrong to ask your friends about their problems if they are in a stress? I tried a lot but no response. I even said you don't want to talk to me it is ok without any condition but just tell me that what was my mistake? How can someone be so rude? She was the same girl to whom once i said that you are so down to earth girl. Now i laugh at me. She didn't block me but she was like always reading my msgs but no reply. One day i just to check if she really reads my msgs, i wrote to her that God will do the same with you what you have done with me. Tadaaaa Next day i was blocked :D I don't understand where was i wrong?
20 comments
First - I agree completely with @TerrecaRiley - you didn't do anything wrong... except - of course we have one side and it's based on your perception of events... to step back and attempt to be objective - there's a few things in yhe story that as someone who has no investment and a lifetime of observing human behavior I want to ask you a couple of questions to try and clarify my thoughts. I absolutely mean no offense or am I suggesting anything. I want to see if I am able to make a little more sense about the situation. 1) Would you categorize yourself as a little bit of a "knight in shining armor"? meaning in your relationships do you find a pattern of dating girls with issues were you are the "nice guy" who shows them kindness, respect, etc.. for the first time? Are you attracted to damaged people because you want to help them? 2) You categorized the relationship as friendly, but could she have perhaps misunderstood your interest as more? If you have been flirty or crossed friendly boundaries, even if you were only trying to make her feel better as a friend, if she has a low self esteem she may have quickly developed feelings for you beyond that of friendship... is this a possibility? 3) I really do not mean to pry... because what I'm about to ask really (typically) crosses some boundaries... do you think she may have some legitimate emotional or mental health issues? For her to be do closed off in person and be like a totally different person online; she may be dealing with emotional issues that defy standard logic. In that case I go bsck to the original statement I made above... you didn't do anything wrong because you were playing with a set of rules that are completely wrong. The truth is that you never truly know what goes on in the mind of another person. You should think about if she felt there was something more between you. that's what if sounds like. You may have not understood or picked up on signs that she felt so much more was between you than you did. This would explain why she open ed up to you online then felt that you were playing with her emotions. What if she was really hoping you would tel her to stay or come back to your city to be with you and you told her to leave for her career? All I can say is that you can never go wrong asking someone what they are feeling... but don't be shocked if they choose to not be honest. Perhaps she was hoping you'd read her mind. And seeing that she had what sounds like deep insecurities when you met her you could have had the best and pure intentions but you were walking into a field of emotional land mines that you couldn't possibly be prepared for. The important thing is that you might want to reflect on this situation and if you are presented with a similar one in the future, you should pull back on pressing the other person to come out of their shell. When you push too hard you can become part of their drama instead of someone who is helping them figure it out. I hope this makes sense and again, I'm not judging or anything. Oddly I've seen similar situations with others before. The questions above were factors in those situations. which is why I've asked.
2 years ago·Reply
Hmm. It's hard to try to guess what is in the heart of another person. I don't know if you did something "wrong" or not because every woman does like different things. However, if a guy that I was interested in stopped messaging me for a week, I'd be pretty frustrated. I'd probably decide that he's no longer interested. That being said, it sounds like the real problem started way before that point for you, so don't feel too bad. It sounds to me like something was wrong for her and she either wanted you to figure it out (aka read her mind) or she needed to make a decision. I'm confused that she suddenly changed her mind about her pictures. I wonder if she had met another guy or was trying to make you feel jealous. :( I just really don't know without knowing her. I'm sorry this happened though. For a relationship to work, two people HAVE to communicate. If one doesn't, well, there isn't a whole lot you can do... I'm Terribly sorry she just ended it without explaining anything to you. That's the worst part really because you're left wondering and unsure what happened. :( So yeah, I know I haven't been incredibly helpful here. >.< I'm sorry! I just don't know!!
2 years ago·Reply
@JonPatrickHyde, YOU are the real MVP :D <3 I'm always so enthralled by your wisdom and willingness to invest in helping others!! And @RobertMarsh you too, very good points. If you love it, let it go, and if it's meant to be, it'll come back <3
2 years ago·Reply
I know its frustrating... I've been there and made the mistake of that response too but I learned to overcome doing that and just let it go. A few came back and later shared the hard time they were going through and I was happy that I could be there for them later... some never came back... but that's just life... just be patient in the future...it may be a great thing
2 years ago·Reply
Thank you everyone for showing your support and sharing your views. I am really glad to see your positive attitude towards these types of problems. When I was going through all this I was like never trust anyone in future but she was the only one person. Now I am totally positive in my life. I have learnt something from this. Every mistakes and bad situation teach us something new. That is why it is said that '' WHATEVER HAPPENS IT HAPPENS FOR THE GOOD '' and it's really true. thank you again everyone.:-)
2 years ago·Reply
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