a year ago
paulisadroid
in English 5,581 Views
likes 22clips 7comments 12
How To Be Attractive: Michael Cera
Look at that! We haven't even started the actual list part of this card yet and Michael Cera is already being super adorable. Isn't he just the cutest!? Anyway, let's not waste any more of your time and get into the ways Michael Cera is the most attractive attractive-person who has ever been.

He Knows What Matters


If you can tell me what's more important than a good pie and a good friend, then I'll give you 50,000 dollars of Monopoly money. The last time I was excited for something I was either looking at my best friend or an apple pie. And that's saying something because I am never excited about anything.

He's Confident Even When He Shouldn't Be


CONFIDENCE IS SO ATTRACTIVE. Seriously. Have I told you all the times I've been dumped because my state of confidence was so low that it started to become a goddamn drag to be around me. Like I know it was hard at times but I only really felt like myself around you, Emily, come back please. I miss you.

He's Okay with Being a Sarcastic Jerk


Imagine yourself in this situation: You're out at brunch with your boyf and the waiter/waitress/wait-monster is being a total rude meanie jerk. And your boyf doesn't do anything! What a disappointment! Right? That's what you called me, Rachel. A disappointment because I didn't snap back at the server like a posh idiot. That's right, I called you posh. God, I'm not a disappointment, am I?

He's Self-Deprecating in That Charming Way


I don't know how he does it but he comes off as such a charming man whenever he says something at his own expense. Everyone seems to love it. But when I do it, it kind of goes off the rails. "That's too far" she said, "why don't you believe in yourself" she asked. Well, I don't know I WAS TRYING TO BE CHARMING AND COOL. Maybe things would've changed if you stuck around, Lindsay. Maybe... I'll never know.

He's Honest


There's something really appealing about someone who really tries, you know? Have you ever been in a relationship where the other person wasn't all there? Isn't that the worst? Isn't that terrible? I don't think I'll ever be in another relationship like that. Not after Ana and I broke up. I mean, I wasn't all there but she was. And I never gave her a "fair shake" you know? I was lost in my own bullshit trying to be cool and act nice and make sure I didn't make any of the old mistakes then ending up making some new ones. I'm sorry Ana, I hope you find someone that treats you right.
Alright, so maybe I missed the point. But you guys get what I'm saying right? Like, you have just got to be there. Even if you're an awkward with a terrible haircut. Even if you're lacking some social skills. Even if you don't think you're the best person, you gotta remember that you actually are the best person for your partner right now.

If you weren't they wouldn't be there. Don't forget to stay in the moment. Don't forget this is the only chance you'll ever have. Don't forget that everything you do matters and anything anyone else does (even Michael Cera) doesn't. It's just you and me.
paulisadroid clipped in 2 collections
12 comments
View more comments
@paulisaghost I look forward to the day when you, too, can finally become Michael Cera.
@danidee I'm in the process of learning how to possess people. it's an essential skill for all ghosts. so maybe after this next ghost-semester of ghost-college I'll finally be able to be the ol' MC
@Kamiamon Hahahahaha melanin. I died XD I don't know, @paulisaghost how can you can have melanin if you're a ghost? And do ghosts even have haircuts, much less terrible ones?