A couple of days ago Nathan Sawaya finished his "strenuous" "challenge" of building a life-size Batmobile out of Legos. The process took about three-months and he used around 500,000 Legos. It's around 1,500 pounds and 18-feet long and if it were a real car and not a bunch of plastic pieces, he could probably sit inside and drive it around town.
It's complete with "flames" that "shoot out of the back". When I asked him [I didn't contact him I'm making this part up] about his endeavor, he looked at me with a wry-smile and said, "I know everyone will think I'm awesome. I know I'm awesome. This isn't your child's plastic building block anymore."
During the rest of the interview, Sawaya was taking sips from his mug -- which was also made of Legos -- as if he was trying to tell me to ask him about his workshop (also made of Legos). But instead, I steered the line of questioning back to his Batmobile.
Or at least I tried. He stood by the "flames" and kept pretending that it was real fire. He slowly inched closer and closer to the plastic fire and said, "Paul, do you dare me? Huh? Do you dare me to touch the fire?" I nodded and he touched the fire and grinned in a way that I can only describe as uncomfortable.
He looked at me then said, "Do you know why nothing happened to me?" I responded that it was because the fire was made of plastic. At this point he got angry and raised his voice, "No, Paul, it's because I am a god. Do you see what lay before you? Are you in awe like all of them are in awe? [he pointed at life size Lego men and women that lined his workshop] Do you see what they see, Paul? They are all in awe." I nodded out of fear. Sawaya had a look in his eyes that I've only seen on my dog when my dog sees a small bird or a squirrel.
At this point, I was scared. Scared for my own life, for the lives of others, and how he kept pointing at the Lego men and women that stood before us. "They were like you, once," he said, "they didn't believe the way I do. And I can tell, the look on your face, the way you're retreating to the exit, that you don't believe." Sawaya stared at his hands for a while before cracking a sly smile. And I heard noises groaning from the life size Lego men and women.
"You know, they call me the real Batman. The real Bruce Wayne. I've built my Wayne Tower, what do you think we're standing in right now? Christopher Nolan had no idea what he's done for me. Watching those movies, his trilogy, gave me life. Gave me a reason to live. I'll be the Batman. I will."
That's when he threw a life size Lego batarang at me and I got knocked unconscious. When I awoke, I was encased in Legos, with the others, unable to move. If you are reading this. Please send help.
[I don't know Nathan Sawaya and none of this happened. I'm sure he's a well-adjusted individual who just likes building things with Legos.]