2 years ago
deactivated1484545980DTessStevens
in English · 49,322 Views
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10 Ways To Survive A Horror Movie
Okay, so there you are...just chilling with your friends watching a scary movie and all of a sudden you hear a knock at the door. You get up, open it and THERE'S A KILLER AT THE DOOR.
I don't know what he looks like, make that up yourself.
Here are 10 ways to survive your very own horror movie. Don't be an idiot.

1. Always carry a back-up battery or juice pack for your phone.

How many horror movies have you seen where, right when the character needs to call the police...their phone dies. It happens in almost every single slasher flick.
This can be avoided by you simply having a charged phone. My phone is always charged up before I leave the house, I make a priority of it, you know, just in case I end up getting chased by a psychopath.

2. Watch your step.

Thousands of horror movie deaths could be prevented if people would just watch where they're going! Literally, every movie features some a-hole who falls as the killer is chasing them.
If you are careful, you can pretty much out run anything if you've got enough adrenaline. Right?

3. Avoid basements at all cost.

Seriously...you've got to be a complete idiot if you're willing to walk down into a dark, closed off space while being chased or hiding from a killer. Honestly, you're better off in a bathroom or something with a lock. Basement? NO.
Dark, dank and scary? Not my favorite combination. See ya later.

4. Keep you eye out of that peephole damn it!

I know it's tempting to look outside and see if the coast is clear, but don't. Trust me. Ever see those horrible Saw movies where weapons and shit come flying through that little thing? Yeah. You don't want that.
Plus, only creepy killers like Norman Bates watch people through peepholes and stuff...don't do it. Just don't.

5. If you hear a strange sound...don't investigate.

Honestly, sometimes it's just the wind...but if you're hearing like, screeching, crying, yelling or like...blood curdling screams, you should probably call the police. Especially if they're like...right outside your door.
If you go outside and investigate, you're just asking to get murdered. Dummy.

6. Never trust kids.

Have you seen The Shining? That movie alone will make it hard for you to be completely trusting of kids. In creepy situations if you see one...or God forbid...two standing at the end of a hallway. You run. You run now. You don't look back, you don't get your things together. You leave. Immediately. Because somehow, someway, someone is going to kill you.

7. Always double tap.

If the movie Zombieland taught us anything it's that you have to double tap. If you think you've killed what's chasing you, never assume it's dead. If you think it's dead, you haven't killed it hard enough. It may sound stupid, but seriously...shoot the thing twice. Preferably in the head so that it doesn't come back. This is why Mike Meyers survived for like...4 Halloween movies. Jamie Lee Curtis didn't double tap.

8. Be vigilant while you're in the shower.

Psycho.
That's all I have to say.
K thanks.

9. Try to be either the smartest person in your squad, or the hottest.

Horror movies prove time and time again that the most ingenious people survive. Also, the hotter people survive because like...people like seeing them on screen. So if you're in a group of seriously dumb people, or seriously ugly people, you'll probably survive.

10. And above all else, avoid isolation. Because nothing is scarier than being crazy inside your own head.

Take advice from our dearest Jack, from The Shining. All work and no play makes you like...effing insane. So have fun, stick with your friends and make sure that if things start to get scary you call the police. Right?
Logic.

What's the dumbest thing you've seen someone do in a horror movie?

39 comments
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OK OK so the dumbest thing I've ever seen someone do in a horror movie is everything there moral ethics tell them, see cause in saw , jigsaw old went for the people with terrible moral ethics. they either betrayed somebody, killed somebody, or something else.
2 years ago·Reply
10
Walking around without a light. Really you can't use your phone?
2 years ago·Reply
10
The dumbest thing ever is when someone knocks the enemy out and DOESN'T TAKE THE FRIKKIN' WEAPON. It annoys the crap out of me. I mean, uh, when they wake up, GUESS WHAT? They have a weapon to shoot you! Or somebody else!
2 years ago·Reply
I know right @KennyMcCormick KEEENNNNEEEEYYYY Sorry, I love South Park so much. My spirit is Eric Cartman.
2 years ago·Reply
10
answer a house phone so the killer knows someone is in the house
2 years ago·Reply