I've been watching a lot of Bob's Burgers recently and even though I'm not a teenage girl full of hormones and awkward interactions with boys [one of these things is true and the other is false], I've come to realize that Tina Belcher is the one cartoon character who can teach us a lot about life, love, and life. [Life is there twice because it is double-y important] Without the Teachings of Tina, I don't know where I would be right now.
1. How to Be Confident in Romantic Situations
As an awkward teenage girl full of hormones and awkward situations with boys, I feel like it's important for me to remember how to be confident every situation I have with them. Hey boys, do you like people who wear glasses? It doesn't matter because there's charm under these glasses and wit behind the eyes behind the glasses. Get at me.
2. How to Be Open to New Experiences
Sometimes love or life experiences can be hard to deal with. Especially if they're ones we aren't expecting. Like this one time, I was walking down the street in my neighborhood really early in the morning and this gross street cat came out from under an SUV and I said, "hey kitty whasssup" and then we became friends. Also, we're getting married tomorrow. None of you are invited. Little Kat has a big family and well, not to get too personal on the Internet but my betrothed doesn't really want any of my friends at the wedding... It's a whole thing, I've already said too much.
3. How to Take Chances
I don't take too many chances, not after Kat and I started dating anyway (I should really move on from this) but what I'm trying to say is, you never know where you'll find yourself. Sometimes, yeah, you have to be good at being open. And other times you have to get up and put yourself out there. Even if it's crawling under the SUV because Kat is scared of sleeping in a bed, or pooping in a litter box, or telling you that you're actually worth something because she only speaks in meows. Most times, you have to get out there and make yourself feel better...
4. Remember Your Worth
... By remembering your worth! You're not at the whim of every boy and every cat you meet on the street. Sure, you're in this weird monogamous relationship with a cat where you're going to meet her family and then she'll meet yours and your mother HATES cats so that's a whole thing you'll have to deal with, "It's 2015 mom, cats are in, they're the Internet" you'll say. But even when there are people who don't validate your experience, you got to remember that you don't need them. All you need is yourself, Paul. Say it in the mirror, all you need is yourself. You are strong and confident, stop crying, you're too old to cry like that, you're embarrassing yourself, come on, please.
5. How to Stay Humble
No matter how confident you become and no matter how many days you go without sobbing to yourself in the mirror, you can't forget that you're just like everyone else. You live through the same day everyone else does (in a way). Remember who you are and where you came from. Don't let yourself get addicted to accolades and accomplishments, just remember to check your ego at the door and you'll be fine. You'll grow old with your cat partner and you'll share cans of tuna. Isn't that such a great thought, sharing a can of tuna with your cat partner. Oh god, I'm marrying a cat, how did I let my life turn out this way? Oh man.
And there you have it! Try your best to follow these 5 things and I'm sure you'll be a better person. I swear, ever since Kat and I broke up three seconds ago I feel like I could use them now more than ever. Geez, I can't believe I let myself get roped into a relationship with a street cat