Oh, look! Mom made a cute Halloween dessert – wait a MINUTE! That's not candy!!! >:(
Here are some healthy Halloween treats that you might want to consider as a alternative to your annual sugar rush. Or, you know, you might just want to avoid them as a plague. And please, I'm begging you, don't show this card to my mom. It'll give her ideas.
I don't care what you say, Mom – those ghost bananas are NOT Halloween "treats." Even if you did draw little faces on all of them.
Oh, this could be good... wait, did you buy the LOW-FAT string cheese?? >:(
Candy corn!!! ..... made of vegetables -______-
Looks like we could be onto something here! That is, until you bite into one and realize they're "carrot rice balls." Where did you even find this recipe, mom??
Okay, this is just lazy, mom. Ants on a log isn't even a Halloween themed food. You're not fooling anyone by upgrading to "spiders on a log" or whatever this is.
NO. N-O SPELLS NO. Get those salad-o'-lanterns OUT OF HERE.
What even is that?!? Are those POPPY SEEDS?? Halloween was not invented so we could gorge ourselves on SEEDS, Mom!!
Apples, jelly, and almonds... still not as good as candy. Sigh.
OKAY THOSE ARE TERRIFYING. What even are those. Besides apples with scary teeth and pretzels sticking out of them.
Mom, you're definitely getting closer, but you're also just... disgusting. Ew. I'm not sure I'm going to even have an appetite for candy after this.
MOM YOU ARE LITERALLY KILLING ME. Halloween should NOT involve kale!!!
Oooo, these are looking good... wait – is that? MORE BANANAS?
What's that, Mom? I can have any candy I want as long as I stop complaining?
And I'm too old to be trick or treating?
And you want me to move out and get a job?